Chapter 12
Thepromiseofasmoothcareer,whichmyfirstcalmintrodutoThornfieldHallseemedtopledge,wasnotbeliedonalongeracquaintahthepladitsinmates.Mrs.Fairfaxturtobewhatsheappeared,aplacid-tempered,kind-naturedwoman,ofpetenteducationandaverageintelligence.Mypupilwasalivelychild,whohadbeenspoiltandindulged,andthereforewassometimeswayward;butasshewasittedeomycare,andnoinjudiciousinterferenanyquartereverthwartedmyplansforherimprovement,shesootherlittlefreaks,andbecameobedientandteachable.Shehadalents,nomarkedtraitsofcharacter,nopeculiardevelopmentoffeelingortastewhichraisedheroneinchabovetheordinarylevelofchildhood;butherhadsheanydeficyorvicewhikherbelowit.Shemadereasonableprogress,eainedformeavivacious,thoughperhapsnotveryprofound,affe;andbyhersimplicity,gayprattle,andeffortstoplease,inspiredme,iurn,withadegreeofattatsuffittomakeusbothtentineachother’ssociety.
This,parparenthèse,willbethoughtcoollanguagebypersonswhoeainsolemndoesabouttheangeliatureofchildren,ayofthosechargedwiththeireducationtoceiveforthemanidolatrousdevotion:butIamnotwritingtoflatterpareism,toechot,orpropuphumbug;Iammerelytellih.IfeltastioussolicitudeforAdèle’swelfareandprogress,andaquietlikingforherlittleself:justasIcherishedtowardsMrs.Fairfaxathankfulnessforherkindness,andapleasureinhersocietyproportiohetranquilregardshehadforme,andthemoderationofhermindandcharacter.
Anybodymayblamemewholikes,whenIaddfurther,that,nowandtheookawalkbymyselfinthegrounds;whedowntothegatesandlookedthroughthemalongtheroad;orwhen,whileAdèleplayedwithhernurse,andMrs.Fairfaxmadejelliesioreroom,Iclimbedthethreestaircases,raisedthetrap-dooroftheattidhavingreachedtheleads,lookedoutafaroversequesteredfieldandhill,andalongdimsky-lihatthenIlongedforapowerofvisionwhichmightoverpassthatlimit;whichmightreachthebusyworld,towns,regionsfulloflifeIhadheardofbutneverseen—thatthenIdesiredmoreofpracticalexperiehanIpossessed;moreofintercoursewithmykind,ofacquaintahvarietyofcharacter,thanwasherewithinmyreach.IvaluedwhatwasgoodinMrs.Fairfax,andwhatwasgoodinAdèle;butIbelievedieherandmorevividkindsofgoodness,andwhatIbelievedinIwishedtobehold.
Whoblamesme?Many,nodoubt;andIshallbecalleddistented.Icould:therestlessnesswasinmynature;itagitatedmetopaiimes.Thenmysolereliefwastowalkalongthecorridorofthethirdstorey,backwardsandforwards,safeinthesilendsolitudeofthespot,andallowmymiodwellonwhateverbrightvisionsrosebeforeit—aainly,theyweremanyandglowing;toletmyheartbeheavedbytheexultantmovement,which,whileitswelleditintrouble,expawithlife;aofall,toopenmyinwardeartoatalethatwasneverealemyimaginatioed,andnarratedtinuously;quiedwithallofi,life,fire,feeling,thatIdesiredandhadnotinmyactualexistence.
Itisinvaintosayhumanbeingsoughttobesatisfiedwithtranquillity:theymusthavea;andtheywillmakeitiftheyotfindit.Millionsareoastillerdoomthanmine,andmillionsareirevoltagainsttheirlot.Nobodyknowshowmanyrebellionsbesidespoliticalrebellionsfermentinthemassesoflifewhichpeopleearth.Womenaresupposedtobeverycalmgenerally:butwomenfeeljustasmeheyneedexercisefortheirfaculties,andafieldfortheirefforts,asmuchastheirbrothersdo;theysufferfromtidarestraint,tooabsoluteastagnation,preciselyasmenwouldsuffer;anditisnarrow-miheirmoreprivilegedfellow-creaturestosaythattheyoughttofihemselvestomakingpuddingsandknittingstogs,toplayingonthepianoandembrbags.Itisthoughtlesstonthem,hatthem,iftheyseektodomoreorlearhanhaspronounecessaryfortheirsex.
Whenthusalone,InotunfrequentlyheardGracePoole’slaugh:thesamepeal,thesamelow,slowha!ha!which,whenfirstheard,hadthrilledme:Iheard,too,heretricmurmurs;strahanherlaugh.Thereweredayswhenshewasquitesilent;buttherewereotherswhenIcouldnotatforthesoundsshemade.SometimesIsawher:shewouldeoutofherroomwithabasin,oraplate,oratrayinherhand,godowntothekitandshortlyreturn,generally(oh,romanticreader,fivemefortellingtheplaintruth!)bearingapotofporter.Herappearancealwaysactedasadampertothecuriosityraisedbyheroraloddities:hard-featuredandstaid,shehadnopointtowhiterestcouldattach.Imadesomeattemptstodrawherintoversation,butsheseemedapersonoffewwords:amonosyllabicreplyusuallycutshorteveryeffortofthatsort.
Theothermembersofthehousehold,viz.,Johnandhiswife,Leahthehousemaid,andSophietheFrenurse,weredetpeople;butinnorespectremarkable;withSophieIusedtotalkFrendsometimesIaskedherquestionsabouthernativetry;butshewasnotofadescriptiveornarrativeturn,andgenerallygavesuchvapidandfusedanswersaswerecalculatedrathertocheckthanenceinquiry.
October,November,Decemberpassedaway.OernooninJanuary,Mrs.FairfaxhadbeggedaholidayforAdèle,becauseshehadacold;and,asAdèlesededtherequestwithanardourthatremindedmehowpreciousoccasionalholidayshadbeentomeinmyownchildhood,Iaccordedit,deemingthatIdidwellinshowingpliabilityonthepoint.Itwasafine,calmday,thoughverycold;Iwastiredofsittingstillinthelibrarythroughawholelongm:Mrs.Fairfaxhadjustwritteerwhichwaswaitingtobeposted,soIputonmyboandcloakandvoluocarryittoHay;thedistawomiles,wouldbeapleasantwiernoonwalk.HavingseenAdèlefortablyseateditlechairbyMrs.Fairfax’sparlourfireside,andgivenherherbestwaxdoll(whichIusuallykeptenvelopedinsilverpaperinadrawer)toplaywith,andastory-bookforgeofamusement;andhavingrepliedtoher“Revenezbient?t,mabonneamie,machèreMdlle.Jeae,”withakissIsetout.
Thegroundwashard,theairwasstill,myroadwaslonely;IwalkedfasttillIgotwarm,andthenIwalkedslowlytoenjoyandanalysethespeciesofpleasurebroodingformeinthehourandsituation.Itwasthreeo’clock;thechurchbelltolledasIpasseduhebelfry:thecharmofthehourlayinitsapproagdimness,inthelow-glidingandpale-beamingsun.IwasamilefromThornfield,inalaedforwildrosesinsummer,fornutsandblackberriesinautumn,andevennowpossessingafewcoraltreasuresinhipsandhaws,butwhosebestwinterdelightlayinitsuttersolitudeandleaflessrepose.Ifabreathofairstirred,itmadenosoundhere;fortherewasnotaholly,notanevergreentorustle,arippedhawthornandhazelbusheswereasstillasthewhite,wornstoneswhichcausewayedthemiddleofthepath.Farandwide,oneachside,therewereonlyfields,wherenocattlenowbrowsed;alebrownbirds,whichstirredoccasionallyinthehedge,lookedlikesinglerussetleavesthathadfottentodrop.
Thislaneinedup-hillallthewaytoHay;havingreachedthemiddle,Isatdownonastilewhichledtheoafield.Gatheringmymantleaboutme,aeringmyhandsinmymuff,Ididhecold,thoughitfrozekeenly;aswasattestedbyasheetoficecthecauseway,wherealittlebrooklet,nowgealed,hadoverflowedafterarapidthawsomedayssince.FrommyseatIcouldlookdownonThorhegreyandbattlementedhallwastheprincipalobjethevalebelowme;itswoodsanddarkrookeryroseagainstthewest.Iliillthesudownamongstthetrees,andsankcrimsonandclearbehihenturward.
Onthehill-topabovemesattherisingmoon;paleyetasacloud,butbrighteningmomentarily,shelookedoverHay,which,halflostintrees,sentupabluesmokefromitsfeweys:itwasyetamiledistant,butintheabsolutehushIcouldhearplainlyitsthinmurmursoflife.Myear,too,felttheflowofcurrents;inwhatdalesahsIcouldnottell:butthereweremanyhillsbeyondHay,anddoubtlessmahreadingtheirpasses.Thateveningcalmbetrayedalikethetihereams,thesoughofthemostremote.
Arudenoisebrokeonthesefineripplingsandwhisperings,atoncesofarawayandsoclear:apositivetramp,tramp,ametallicclatter,whicheffacedthesoftwave-wanderings;as,inapicture,thesolidmass,ortheroughbolesofagreatoak,drawnindarkandstrongonthefround,effacetheaerialdistanceofazurehill,sunnyhorizon,andblendedcloudswheretisintotint.
Thedinwasonthecauseway:ahorsewasing;thewindingsofthelahidit,butitapproached.Iwasjustleaviile;yet,asthepathwasnarrow,Isatstilltoletitgoby.InthosedaysIwasyoung,andallsortsoffanciesbrightanddarktenantedmymind:thememoriesoforieswerethereamongstotherrubbish;aheyrecurred,maturingyouthaddedtothemavigourandvividnessbeyondwhatchildhoodcouldgive.Asthishorseapproached,andasIwatchedforittoappearthroughthedusk,IrememberedcertainofBessie’stales,whereinfiguredaNorth-of-Englandspiritcalleda“Gytrash,”whitheformofhorse,mule,edog,hauntedsolitaryways,andsometimescameupoedtravellers,asthishorsewasnowinguponme.
Itwasverynear,butinsight;when,inadditiontothetramp,tramp,Iheardarushuhehedge,andclosedownbythehazelstemsglidedagreatdog,whosebladwhiteadehimadistinctobjectagainstthetrees.ItwasexactlyoneformofBessie’sGytrash—alion-likecreaturewithlonghairandahugehead:itpassedme,however,quietlyenough;notstayingtolookup,withstraereeyes,inmyface,asIhalfexpecteditwould.Thehorsefollowed,—atallsteed,andonitsbackarider.Theman,thehumanbeing,brokethespellatohingeverrodetheGytrash:itwasalwaysalone;andgoblins,tomynotions,thoughtheymighttenantthedumbcarcassesofbeasts,couldscarcecovetshelterintheonplacehumanform.NoGytrashwasthis,—onlyatravellertakingtheshortillcote.Hepassed,aoeps,andIturned:aslidingsoundandanexclamationof“Whatthedeuceistodonow?”andaclatteringtumble,arrestedmyattention.Manandhorseweredown;theyhadslippedonthesheetoficewhichglazedthecauseway.Thedogcameboundingbadseeinghismasterinapredit,andhearingthehroan,barkedtilltheeveninghillsechoedthesound,whichwasdeepinproportiontohismagnitude.Hesnuffedroundtheprroup,andthenheranuptome;itwasallhecoulddo,—therewasnootherhelpathandtosummon.Iobeyedhim,andwalkeddowntothetraveller,bythistimestrugglinghimselffreeofhissteed.Hiseffortsweresovigorous,Ithoughthecouldnotbemuchhurt;butIaskedhimthequestion—
“Areyouinjured,sir?”
Ithinkhewasswearing,butamain;however,heronoungsomeformulawhichpreventedhimfromreplyingtomedirectly.
“Idoanything?”Iaskedagain.
“Youmustjuststandononeside,”heansweredasherose,firsttohisknees,aohisfeet.Idid;whereuponbeganaheaving,stamping,clatteringprocess,apaniedbyabarkingandbayingwhichremovedmeeffectuallysomeyards’distaIwouldnotbedrivenquiteawaytillIsawtheevent.Thiswasfinallyfortuhehorsewasre-established,andthedogwassileha“Down,Pilot!”Thetravellernow,stoopihisfootandleg,asiftryihertheyweresound;apparentlysomethingailedthem,forhehaltedtothestilewhenceIhadjustrisen,andsatdown.
Iwasinthemoodforbeinguseful,oratleastofficious,Ithink,forInowdrewnearhimagain.
“Ifyouarehurt,andwanthelp,sir,IfeteoherfromThornfieldHallorfromHay.”
“Thankyou:Ishalldo:Ihavenobrokenbones,—onlyasprain;”andagaioodupandtriedhisfoot,buttheresultextortedaninvoluntary“Ugh!”
Somethingofdaylightstilllingered,andthemoonwaswaxingbright:Icouldseehimplainly.Hisfigurewasenvelopedinaridingcloak,furcollaredandsteelclasped;itsdetailswerenotapparent,butItracedthegeneralpointsofmiddleheightandsiderablebreadthofchest.Hehadadarkface,withsteruresandaheavybrow;hiseyesandgatheredeyebrowslookedirefulandthwartedjustnow;heastyouth,buthadnotreachedmiddle-age;perhapshemightbethirty-five.Ifeltnofearofhim,andbutlittleshyness.Hadhebeenahandsome,heroic-lookingyouleman,Ishouldnothavedaredtostandthusquestioninghimagainsthiswill,andmyserviasked.Ihadhardlyeverseenahandsomeyouth;neverinmylifespokentoone.Ihadatheoreticalreverendhomageforbeauty,elegance,gallantry,fasation;buthadImetthosequalitiesinateinmaseshape,Ishouldhaveknowninstinctivelythattheyherhadnorcouldhavesympathywithanythinginme,andshouldhaveshuhemasonewouldfire,lightning,oranythihatisbrightbutantipathetic.
Ifeventhisstrangerhadsmiledandbeengood-humouredtomewhenIaddressedhim;ifhehadputoffmyofferofassistancegailyandwiththanks,Ishouldhavegoneonmywayandanyvocationtorenewinquiries:butthefrown,theroughnessofthetraveller,setmeatmyease:Iretainedmystationwhenhewavedtometogo,andannounced—
“Iotthinkofleavingyou,sir,atsolateanhour,inthissolitarylaillIseeyouarefittomountyourhorse.”
HelookedatmewhenIsaidthis;hehadhardlyturnedhiseyesinmydirebefore.
“Ishouldthinkyououghttobeathomeyourself,”saidhe,“ifyouhaveahomeinthisneighbourhood:wheredoyouefrom?”
“Fromjustbelow;andIamnotatallafraidofbeingoutlatewhenitismoonlight:IwillruoHayforyouwithpleasure,ifyouwishit:indeed,Iamgoiopostaletter.”
“Youlivejustbelow—doyoumeanatthathousewiththebattlements?”pointingtoThornfieldHall,onwhichthemooncastahleam,bringingitoutdistindpalefromthewoodsthat,bytrastwiththewesternsky,nowseemedonemassofshadow.
“Yes,sir.”
“Whosehouseisit?”
“Mr.Rochester’s.”
“DoyouknowMr.Rochester?”
“No,Ihaveneverseenhim.”
“Heisnotresident,then?”
“No.”
“youtellmewhereheis?”
“Iot.”
“Youarenotaservantatthehall,ofcourse.Youare—”Hestopped,ranhiseyeovermydress,which,asusual,wasquitesimple:ablackmerinocloak,ablackbeaverbo;herofthemhalffineenoughforalady’s-maid.HeseemedpuzzledtodecidewhatIwas;Ihelpedhim.
“Iamthegoverness.”
“Ah,thegoverness!”herepeated;“deucetakeme,ifIhadnotten!Thegoverness!”andagainmyraimentunderwentscrutiny.Intwominutesherosefromthestile:hisfaceexpressedpairiedtomove.
“Imissionyoutofetchhelp,”hesaid;“butyoumayhelpmealittleyourself,ifyouwillbesokind.”
“Yes,sir.”
“YouhavenotanumbrellathatIuseasastick?”
“No.”
“Trytogetholdofmyhorse’sbridleandleadhimtome:youarenotafraid?”
Ishouldhavebeenafraidtotouchahorsewhenalowhentoldtodoit,Iwasdisposedtoobey.Iputdownmymuffoile,auptothetallsteed;Iendeavouredtocatchthebridle,butitiritedthing,andwouldmeeshead;Imadeeffortoneffort,thoughinvaiime,Iwasmortallyafraidofitstramplingfore-feet.Thetravellerwaitedandwatchedforsometime,andatlasthelaughed.
“Isee,”hesaid,“themountainwillneverbebroughttoMahomet,soallyoudoistoaidMahomettogotothemountain;Imustbegofyoutoehere.”
Icame.“Excuseme,”hetinued:“ypelsmetomakeyouuseful.”Helaidaheavyhandonmyshoulder,andleaningohsomestress,limpedtohishorse.Havingoncecaughtthebridle,hemastereditdirectlyandsprangtohissaddle;grimaggrimlyashemadetheeffort,foritwrenchedhissprain.
“Now,”saidhe,releasinghisunderlipfromahardbite,“justhandmemywhip;itliesthereuhehedge.”
Isoughtitandfoundit.
“Thankyou;nowmakehastewiththelettertoHay,aurnasfastasyou.”
Atouchofaspurredheelmadehishorsefirststartandrear,andthenboundaway;thedogrushedinhistraces;allthreevanished,
“Likeheaththat,inthewilderness,
Thehirlsaway.”
Itookupmymuffandwalkedon.Theihadoccurredandwasgoneforme:itwasaniofnomoment,noromanoiinaseitmarkedwithgeonesinglehourofamonotonouslife.Myhelphadbeenneededandclaimed;Ihadgivenit:Ileasedtohavedonesomething;trivial,transitorythoughthedeedwas,itwasyetanactivething,andIwaswearyofaenceallpassive.Thenewface,too,waslikeanewpictureintroducedtothegalleryofmemory;anditwasdissimilartoalltheothershangingthere:firstly,becauseitwasmase;and,sedly,becauseitwasdark,strong,andstern.IhaditstillbeforemewheeredHay,andslippedtheletterintothepost-office;IsawitasIwalkedfastdown-hillallthewayhome.WhenIcametothestile,Istoppedaminute,lookedroundandlistened,withahatahorse’shoofsmightringonthecausewayagain,andthatariderinacloak,andaGytrash-likeNewfoundlanddog,mightbeagainapparent:Isawonlythehedgeandapollardwillowbeforeme,risingupstillandstraighttomeetthemoonbeams;IheardonlythefaiwaftofwindroamingfitfulamoreesroundThornfield,amiledistant;andwhenIglanceddowninthedireofthemurmur,myeye,traversingthehall-front,caughtalightkindlinginawindow:itremihatIwaslate,andIhurriedon.
Ididnotlikere-enteringThoropassitsthresholdwastoreturntostagnation;tocrossthesilenthall,toasdthedarksomestaircase,toseekmyownlonelylittleroom,aomeettranquilMrs.Fairfax,ahelongwintereveningwithher,andheronly,wastoquellwhollythefaiementwakenedbymywalk,—toslipagainovermyfacultiestheviewlessfettersofanuniformandtoostillexistence;ofaencewhoseveryprivilegesofsecurityandeaseIwasbeingincapableofappreciating.Whatgooditwouldhavedohattimetohavebeentossediormsofaainstrugglinglife,andtohavebeentaughtbyroughandbitterexperieolongforthecalmamidstwhiowrepined!Yes,justasmuchgoodasitwoulddoamantiredofsittingstillina“tooeasychair”totakealongwalk:andjustasnaturalwasthewishtostir,undermycircumstances,asitwouldbeunderhis.
Ilihegates;Ilihelawn;Ipacedbackwardsandforwardsonthepavement;theshuttersoftheglassdoorwereclosed;Icouldotheinterior;andbothmyeyesandspiritseemeddrawnfromthegloomyhouse—fromthegrey-hollowfilledwithraylesscells,asitappearedtome—tothatskyexpandedbeforeme,—ablueseaabsolvedfromtaintofcloud;themoonasdingitinsolemnmarch;herorbseemingtolookupassheleftthehill-tops,frombehindwhichshehade,farandfartherbelowher,andaspiredtothezenith,midnightdarkinitsfathomlessdepthandmeasurelessdistandforthosetremblingstarsthatfollowedhercourse;theymademyhearttremble,myveinsglowwhehem.Littlethingsrecallustoearth;theclockstruthehall;thatsufficed;Iturnedfrommoonandstars,openedaside-door,ain.
Thehallwasnotdark,wasitlit,onlybythehigh-hungbronzelamp;awarmglowsuffusedbothitandthelowerstepsoftheoakstaircase.Thisruddyshineissuedfromthegreatdining-room,whosetwo-leaveddoorstoodopen,andshowedagenialfireie,glanarblehearthandbrassfire-irons,andrevealingpurpledraperiesandpolishedfurniture,ipleasantradiarevealed,too,agrouphemantelpiece:Ihadscarcelycaughtit,andscarcelybeeawareofacheerfulminglingofvoices,amongstwhichIseemedtodistinguishthetonesofAdèle,whenthedoorclosed.
IhasteoMrs.Fairfax’sroom;therewasafiretheretoo,butnodle,andnoMrs.Fairfax.Instead,allalotinguprightontherug,andgazingwithgravityattheblaze,Ibeheldagreatbladwhitelong-haireddog,justliketheGytrashofthelawassolikeitthatIwentforwardandsaid—“Pilot”ahinggotupandcametomeandsnuffedme.Icaressedhim,andhewaggedhisgreattail;buthelookedaneeriecreaturetobealoh,andIcouldnottellwhencehehade.Irangthebell,forIwantedadle;andIwaoo,togetanatofthisvisitant.Leahentered.
“Whatdogisthis?”
“Hecamewithmaster.”
“Withwhom?”
“Withmaster—Mr.Rochester—heisjustarrived.”
“Indeed!andisMrs.Fairfaxwithhim?”
“Yes,andMissAdèle;theyareinthedining-room,andJohnisgoneforasurgeon;formasterhashadanact;hishorsefellandhisankleissprained.”
“DidthehorsefallinHayLane?”
“Yes,ingdown-hill;itslippedonsomeice.”
“Ah!BringmeadlewillyouLeah?”
Leahbroughtit;sheentered,followedbyMrs.Fairfax,whorepeatedthenews;addingthatMr.Carterthesurgeonwase,andwasnowwithMr.Rochester:thenshehurriedouttogiveordersabouttea,aupstairstotakeoffmythings.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
This,parparenthèse,willbethoughtcoollanguagebypersonswhoeainsolemndoesabouttheangeliatureofchildren,ayofthosechargedwiththeireducationtoceiveforthemanidolatrousdevotion:butIamnotwritingtoflatterpareism,toechot,orpropuphumbug;Iammerelytellih.IfeltastioussolicitudeforAdèle’swelfareandprogress,andaquietlikingforherlittleself:justasIcherishedtowardsMrs.Fairfaxathankfulnessforherkindness,andapleasureinhersocietyproportiohetranquilregardshehadforme,andthemoderationofhermindandcharacter.
Anybodymayblamemewholikes,whenIaddfurther,that,nowandtheookawalkbymyselfinthegrounds;whedowntothegatesandlookedthroughthemalongtheroad;orwhen,whileAdèleplayedwithhernurse,andMrs.Fairfaxmadejelliesioreroom,Iclimbedthethreestaircases,raisedthetrap-dooroftheattidhavingreachedtheleads,lookedoutafaroversequesteredfieldandhill,andalongdimsky-lihatthenIlongedforapowerofvisionwhichmightoverpassthatlimit;whichmightreachthebusyworld,towns,regionsfulloflifeIhadheardofbutneverseen—thatthenIdesiredmoreofpracticalexperiehanIpossessed;moreofintercoursewithmykind,ofacquaintahvarietyofcharacter,thanwasherewithinmyreach.IvaluedwhatwasgoodinMrs.Fairfax,andwhatwasgoodinAdèle;butIbelievedieherandmorevividkindsofgoodness,andwhatIbelievedinIwishedtobehold.
Whoblamesme?Many,nodoubt;andIshallbecalleddistented.Icould:therestlessnesswasinmynature;itagitatedmetopaiimes.Thenmysolereliefwastowalkalongthecorridorofthethirdstorey,backwardsandforwards,safeinthesilendsolitudeofthespot,andallowmymiodwellonwhateverbrightvisionsrosebeforeit—aainly,theyweremanyandglowing;toletmyheartbeheavedbytheexultantmovement,which,whileitswelleditintrouble,expawithlife;aofall,toopenmyinwardeartoatalethatwasneverealemyimaginatioed,andnarratedtinuously;quiedwithallofi,life,fire,feeling,thatIdesiredandhadnotinmyactualexistence.
Itisinvaintosayhumanbeingsoughttobesatisfiedwithtranquillity:theymusthavea;andtheywillmakeitiftheyotfindit.Millionsareoastillerdoomthanmine,andmillionsareirevoltagainsttheirlot.Nobodyknowshowmanyrebellionsbesidespoliticalrebellionsfermentinthemassesoflifewhichpeopleearth.Womenaresupposedtobeverycalmgenerally:butwomenfeeljustasmeheyneedexercisefortheirfaculties,andafieldfortheirefforts,asmuchastheirbrothersdo;theysufferfromtidarestraint,tooabsoluteastagnation,preciselyasmenwouldsuffer;anditisnarrow-miheirmoreprivilegedfellow-creaturestosaythattheyoughttofihemselvestomakingpuddingsandknittingstogs,toplayingonthepianoandembrbags.Itisthoughtlesstonthem,hatthem,iftheyseektodomoreorlearhanhaspronounecessaryfortheirsex.
Whenthusalone,InotunfrequentlyheardGracePoole’slaugh:thesamepeal,thesamelow,slowha!ha!which,whenfirstheard,hadthrilledme:Iheard,too,heretricmurmurs;strahanherlaugh.Thereweredayswhenshewasquitesilent;buttherewereotherswhenIcouldnotatforthesoundsshemade.SometimesIsawher:shewouldeoutofherroomwithabasin,oraplate,oratrayinherhand,godowntothekitandshortlyreturn,generally(oh,romanticreader,fivemefortellingtheplaintruth!)bearingapotofporter.Herappearancealwaysactedasadampertothecuriosityraisedbyheroraloddities:hard-featuredandstaid,shehadnopointtowhiterestcouldattach.Imadesomeattemptstodrawherintoversation,butsheseemedapersonoffewwords:amonosyllabicreplyusuallycutshorteveryeffortofthatsort.
Theothermembersofthehousehold,viz.,Johnandhiswife,Leahthehousemaid,andSophietheFrenurse,weredetpeople;butinnorespectremarkable;withSophieIusedtotalkFrendsometimesIaskedherquestionsabouthernativetry;butshewasnotofadescriptiveornarrativeturn,andgenerallygavesuchvapidandfusedanswersaswerecalculatedrathertocheckthanenceinquiry.
October,November,Decemberpassedaway.OernooninJanuary,Mrs.FairfaxhadbeggedaholidayforAdèle,becauseshehadacold;and,asAdèlesededtherequestwithanardourthatremindedmehowpreciousoccasionalholidayshadbeentomeinmyownchildhood,Iaccordedit,deemingthatIdidwellinshowingpliabilityonthepoint.Itwasafine,calmday,thoughverycold;Iwastiredofsittingstillinthelibrarythroughawholelongm:Mrs.Fairfaxhadjustwritteerwhichwaswaitingtobeposted,soIputonmyboandcloakandvoluocarryittoHay;thedistawomiles,wouldbeapleasantwiernoonwalk.HavingseenAdèlefortablyseateditlechairbyMrs.Fairfax’sparlourfireside,andgivenherherbestwaxdoll(whichIusuallykeptenvelopedinsilverpaperinadrawer)toplaywith,andastory-bookforgeofamusement;andhavingrepliedtoher“Revenezbient?t,mabonneamie,machèreMdlle.Jeae,”withakissIsetout.
Thegroundwashard,theairwasstill,myroadwaslonely;IwalkedfasttillIgotwarm,andthenIwalkedslowlytoenjoyandanalysethespeciesofpleasurebroodingformeinthehourandsituation.Itwasthreeo’clock;thechurchbelltolledasIpasseduhebelfry:thecharmofthehourlayinitsapproagdimness,inthelow-glidingandpale-beamingsun.IwasamilefromThornfield,inalaedforwildrosesinsummer,fornutsandblackberriesinautumn,andevennowpossessingafewcoraltreasuresinhipsandhaws,butwhosebestwinterdelightlayinitsuttersolitudeandleaflessrepose.Ifabreathofairstirred,itmadenosoundhere;fortherewasnotaholly,notanevergreentorustle,arippedhawthornandhazelbusheswereasstillasthewhite,wornstoneswhichcausewayedthemiddleofthepath.Farandwide,oneachside,therewereonlyfields,wherenocattlenowbrowsed;alebrownbirds,whichstirredoccasionallyinthehedge,lookedlikesinglerussetleavesthathadfottentodrop.
Thislaneinedup-hillallthewaytoHay;havingreachedthemiddle,Isatdownonastilewhichledtheoafield.Gatheringmymantleaboutme,aeringmyhandsinmymuff,Ididhecold,thoughitfrozekeenly;aswasattestedbyasheetoficecthecauseway,wherealittlebrooklet,nowgealed,hadoverflowedafterarapidthawsomedayssince.FrommyseatIcouldlookdownonThorhegreyandbattlementedhallwastheprincipalobjethevalebelowme;itswoodsanddarkrookeryroseagainstthewest.Iliillthesudownamongstthetrees,andsankcrimsonandclearbehihenturward.
Onthehill-topabovemesattherisingmoon;paleyetasacloud,butbrighteningmomentarily,shelookedoverHay,which,halflostintrees,sentupabluesmokefromitsfeweys:itwasyetamiledistant,butintheabsolutehushIcouldhearplainlyitsthinmurmursoflife.Myear,too,felttheflowofcurrents;inwhatdalesahsIcouldnottell:butthereweremanyhillsbeyondHay,anddoubtlessmahreadingtheirpasses.Thateveningcalmbetrayedalikethetihereams,thesoughofthemostremote.
Arudenoisebrokeonthesefineripplingsandwhisperings,atoncesofarawayandsoclear:apositivetramp,tramp,ametallicclatter,whicheffacedthesoftwave-wanderings;as,inapicture,thesolidmass,ortheroughbolesofagreatoak,drawnindarkandstrongonthefround,effacetheaerialdistanceofazurehill,sunnyhorizon,andblendedcloudswheretisintotint.
Thedinwasonthecauseway:ahorsewasing;thewindingsofthelahidit,butitapproached.Iwasjustleaviile;yet,asthepathwasnarrow,Isatstilltoletitgoby.InthosedaysIwasyoung,andallsortsoffanciesbrightanddarktenantedmymind:thememoriesoforieswerethereamongstotherrubbish;aheyrecurred,maturingyouthaddedtothemavigourandvividnessbeyondwhatchildhoodcouldgive.Asthishorseapproached,andasIwatchedforittoappearthroughthedusk,IrememberedcertainofBessie’stales,whereinfiguredaNorth-of-Englandspiritcalleda“Gytrash,”whitheformofhorse,mule,edog,hauntedsolitaryways,andsometimescameupoedtravellers,asthishorsewasnowinguponme.
Itwasverynear,butinsight;when,inadditiontothetramp,tramp,Iheardarushuhehedge,andclosedownbythehazelstemsglidedagreatdog,whosebladwhiteadehimadistinctobjectagainstthetrees.ItwasexactlyoneformofBessie’sGytrash—alion-likecreaturewithlonghairandahugehead:itpassedme,however,quietlyenough;notstayingtolookup,withstraereeyes,inmyface,asIhalfexpecteditwould.Thehorsefollowed,—atallsteed,andonitsbackarider.Theman,thehumanbeing,brokethespellatohingeverrodetheGytrash:itwasalwaysalone;andgoblins,tomynotions,thoughtheymighttenantthedumbcarcassesofbeasts,couldscarcecovetshelterintheonplacehumanform.NoGytrashwasthis,—onlyatravellertakingtheshortillcote.Hepassed,aoeps,andIturned:aslidingsoundandanexclamationof“Whatthedeuceistodonow?”andaclatteringtumble,arrestedmyattention.Manandhorseweredown;theyhadslippedonthesheetoficewhichglazedthecauseway.Thedogcameboundingbadseeinghismasterinapredit,andhearingthehroan,barkedtilltheeveninghillsechoedthesound,whichwasdeepinproportiontohismagnitude.Hesnuffedroundtheprroup,andthenheranuptome;itwasallhecoulddo,—therewasnootherhelpathandtosummon.Iobeyedhim,andwalkeddowntothetraveller,bythistimestrugglinghimselffreeofhissteed.Hiseffortsweresovigorous,Ithoughthecouldnotbemuchhurt;butIaskedhimthequestion—
“Areyouinjured,sir?”
Ithinkhewasswearing,butamain;however,heronoungsomeformulawhichpreventedhimfromreplyingtomedirectly.
“Idoanything?”Iaskedagain.
“Youmustjuststandononeside,”heansweredasherose,firsttohisknees,aohisfeet.Idid;whereuponbeganaheaving,stamping,clatteringprocess,apaniedbyabarkingandbayingwhichremovedmeeffectuallysomeyards’distaIwouldnotbedrivenquiteawaytillIsawtheevent.Thiswasfinallyfortuhehorsewasre-established,andthedogwassileha“Down,Pilot!”Thetravellernow,stoopihisfootandleg,asiftryihertheyweresound;apparentlysomethingailedthem,forhehaltedtothestilewhenceIhadjustrisen,andsatdown.
Iwasinthemoodforbeinguseful,oratleastofficious,Ithink,forInowdrewnearhimagain.
“Ifyouarehurt,andwanthelp,sir,IfeteoherfromThornfieldHallorfromHay.”
“Thankyou:Ishalldo:Ihavenobrokenbones,—onlyasprain;”andagaioodupandtriedhisfoot,buttheresultextortedaninvoluntary“Ugh!”
Somethingofdaylightstilllingered,andthemoonwaswaxingbright:Icouldseehimplainly.Hisfigurewasenvelopedinaridingcloak,furcollaredandsteelclasped;itsdetailswerenotapparent,butItracedthegeneralpointsofmiddleheightandsiderablebreadthofchest.Hehadadarkface,withsteruresandaheavybrow;hiseyesandgatheredeyebrowslookedirefulandthwartedjustnow;heastyouth,buthadnotreachedmiddle-age;perhapshemightbethirty-five.Ifeltnofearofhim,andbutlittleshyness.Hadhebeenahandsome,heroic-lookingyouleman,Ishouldnothavedaredtostandthusquestioninghimagainsthiswill,andmyserviasked.Ihadhardlyeverseenahandsomeyouth;neverinmylifespokentoone.Ihadatheoreticalreverendhomageforbeauty,elegance,gallantry,fasation;buthadImetthosequalitiesinateinmaseshape,Ishouldhaveknowninstinctivelythattheyherhadnorcouldhavesympathywithanythinginme,andshouldhaveshuhemasonewouldfire,lightning,oranythihatisbrightbutantipathetic.
Ifeventhisstrangerhadsmiledandbeengood-humouredtomewhenIaddressedhim;ifhehadputoffmyofferofassistancegailyandwiththanks,Ishouldhavegoneonmywayandanyvocationtorenewinquiries:butthefrown,theroughnessofthetraveller,setmeatmyease:Iretainedmystationwhenhewavedtometogo,andannounced—
“Iotthinkofleavingyou,sir,atsolateanhour,inthissolitarylaillIseeyouarefittomountyourhorse.”
HelookedatmewhenIsaidthis;hehadhardlyturnedhiseyesinmydirebefore.
“Ishouldthinkyououghttobeathomeyourself,”saidhe,“ifyouhaveahomeinthisneighbourhood:wheredoyouefrom?”
“Fromjustbelow;andIamnotatallafraidofbeingoutlatewhenitismoonlight:IwillruoHayforyouwithpleasure,ifyouwishit:indeed,Iamgoiopostaletter.”
“Youlivejustbelow—doyoumeanatthathousewiththebattlements?”pointingtoThornfieldHall,onwhichthemooncastahleam,bringingitoutdistindpalefromthewoodsthat,bytrastwiththewesternsky,nowseemedonemassofshadow.
“Yes,sir.”
“Whosehouseisit?”
“Mr.Rochester’s.”
“DoyouknowMr.Rochester?”
“No,Ihaveneverseenhim.”
“Heisnotresident,then?”
“No.”
“youtellmewhereheis?”
“Iot.”
“Youarenotaservantatthehall,ofcourse.Youare—”Hestopped,ranhiseyeovermydress,which,asusual,wasquitesimple:ablackmerinocloak,ablackbeaverbo;herofthemhalffineenoughforalady’s-maid.HeseemedpuzzledtodecidewhatIwas;Ihelpedhim.
“Iamthegoverness.”
“Ah,thegoverness!”herepeated;“deucetakeme,ifIhadnotten!Thegoverness!”andagainmyraimentunderwentscrutiny.Intwominutesherosefromthestile:hisfaceexpressedpairiedtomove.
“Imissionyoutofetchhelp,”hesaid;“butyoumayhelpmealittleyourself,ifyouwillbesokind.”
“Yes,sir.”
“YouhavenotanumbrellathatIuseasastick?”
“No.”
“Trytogetholdofmyhorse’sbridleandleadhimtome:youarenotafraid?”
Ishouldhavebeenafraidtotouchahorsewhenalowhentoldtodoit,Iwasdisposedtoobey.Iputdownmymuffoile,auptothetallsteed;Iendeavouredtocatchthebridle,butitiritedthing,andwouldmeeshead;Imadeeffortoneffort,thoughinvaiime,Iwasmortallyafraidofitstramplingfore-feet.Thetravellerwaitedandwatchedforsometime,andatlasthelaughed.
“Isee,”hesaid,“themountainwillneverbebroughttoMahomet,soallyoudoistoaidMahomettogotothemountain;Imustbegofyoutoehere.”
Icame.“Excuseme,”hetinued:“ypelsmetomakeyouuseful.”Helaidaheavyhandonmyshoulder,andleaningohsomestress,limpedtohishorse.Havingoncecaughtthebridle,hemastereditdirectlyandsprangtohissaddle;grimaggrimlyashemadetheeffort,foritwrenchedhissprain.
“Now,”saidhe,releasinghisunderlipfromahardbite,“justhandmemywhip;itliesthereuhehedge.”
Isoughtitandfoundit.
“Thankyou;nowmakehastewiththelettertoHay,aurnasfastasyou.”
Atouchofaspurredheelmadehishorsefirststartandrear,andthenboundaway;thedogrushedinhistraces;allthreevanished,
“Likeheaththat,inthewilderness,
Thehirlsaway.”
Itookupmymuffandwalkedon.Theihadoccurredandwasgoneforme:itwasaniofnomoment,noromanoiinaseitmarkedwithgeonesinglehourofamonotonouslife.Myhelphadbeenneededandclaimed;Ihadgivenit:Ileasedtohavedonesomething;trivial,transitorythoughthedeedwas,itwasyetanactivething,andIwaswearyofaenceallpassive.Thenewface,too,waslikeanewpictureintroducedtothegalleryofmemory;anditwasdissimilartoalltheothershangingthere:firstly,becauseitwasmase;and,sedly,becauseitwasdark,strong,andstern.IhaditstillbeforemewheeredHay,andslippedtheletterintothepost-office;IsawitasIwalkedfastdown-hillallthewayhome.WhenIcametothestile,Istoppedaminute,lookedroundandlistened,withahatahorse’shoofsmightringonthecausewayagain,andthatariderinacloak,andaGytrash-likeNewfoundlanddog,mightbeagainapparent:Isawonlythehedgeandapollardwillowbeforeme,risingupstillandstraighttomeetthemoonbeams;IheardonlythefaiwaftofwindroamingfitfulamoreesroundThornfield,amiledistant;andwhenIglanceddowninthedireofthemurmur,myeye,traversingthehall-front,caughtalightkindlinginawindow:itremihatIwaslate,andIhurriedon.
Ididnotlikere-enteringThoropassitsthresholdwastoreturntostagnation;tocrossthesilenthall,toasdthedarksomestaircase,toseekmyownlonelylittleroom,aomeettranquilMrs.Fairfax,ahelongwintereveningwithher,andheronly,wastoquellwhollythefaiementwakenedbymywalk,—toslipagainovermyfacultiestheviewlessfettersofanuniformandtoostillexistence;ofaencewhoseveryprivilegesofsecurityandeaseIwasbeingincapableofappreciating.Whatgooditwouldhavedohattimetohavebeentossediormsofaainstrugglinglife,andtohavebeentaughtbyroughandbitterexperieolongforthecalmamidstwhiowrepined!Yes,justasmuchgoodasitwoulddoamantiredofsittingstillina“tooeasychair”totakealongwalk:andjustasnaturalwasthewishtostir,undermycircumstances,asitwouldbeunderhis.
Ilihegates;Ilihelawn;Ipacedbackwardsandforwardsonthepavement;theshuttersoftheglassdoorwereclosed;Icouldotheinterior;andbothmyeyesandspiritseemeddrawnfromthegloomyhouse—fromthegrey-hollowfilledwithraylesscells,asitappearedtome—tothatskyexpandedbeforeme,—ablueseaabsolvedfromtaintofcloud;themoonasdingitinsolemnmarch;herorbseemingtolookupassheleftthehill-tops,frombehindwhichshehade,farandfartherbelowher,andaspiredtothezenith,midnightdarkinitsfathomlessdepthandmeasurelessdistandforthosetremblingstarsthatfollowedhercourse;theymademyhearttremble,myveinsglowwhehem.Littlethingsrecallustoearth;theclockstruthehall;thatsufficed;Iturnedfrommoonandstars,openedaside-door,ain.
Thehallwasnotdark,wasitlit,onlybythehigh-hungbronzelamp;awarmglowsuffusedbothitandthelowerstepsoftheoakstaircase.Thisruddyshineissuedfromthegreatdining-room,whosetwo-leaveddoorstoodopen,andshowedagenialfireie,glanarblehearthandbrassfire-irons,andrevealingpurpledraperiesandpolishedfurniture,ipleasantradiarevealed,too,agrouphemantelpiece:Ihadscarcelycaughtit,andscarcelybeeawareofacheerfulminglingofvoices,amongstwhichIseemedtodistinguishthetonesofAdèle,whenthedoorclosed.
IhasteoMrs.Fairfax’sroom;therewasafiretheretoo,butnodle,andnoMrs.Fairfax.Instead,allalotinguprightontherug,andgazingwithgravityattheblaze,Ibeheldagreatbladwhitelong-haireddog,justliketheGytrashofthelawassolikeitthatIwentforwardandsaid—“Pilot”ahinggotupandcametomeandsnuffedme.Icaressedhim,andhewaggedhisgreattail;buthelookedaneeriecreaturetobealoh,andIcouldnottellwhencehehade.Irangthebell,forIwantedadle;andIwaoo,togetanatofthisvisitant.Leahentered.
“Whatdogisthis?”
“Hecamewithmaster.”
“Withwhom?”
“Withmaster—Mr.Rochester—heisjustarrived.”
“Indeed!andisMrs.Fairfaxwithhim?”
“Yes,andMissAdèle;theyareinthedining-room,andJohnisgoneforasurgeon;formasterhashadanact;hishorsefellandhisankleissprained.”
“DidthehorsefallinHayLane?”
“Yes,ingdown-hill;itslippedonsomeice.”
“Ah!BringmeadlewillyouLeah?”
Leahbroughtit;sheentered,followedbyMrs.Fairfax,whorepeatedthenews;addingthatMr.Carterthesurgeonwase,andwasnowwithMr.Rochester:thenshehurriedouttogiveordersabouttea,aupstairstotakeoffmythings.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
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