Chapter 14
ForseveralsubsequentdaysIsawlittleofMr.Rochester.Inthemsheseemedmugagedwithbusiness,and,iernoolemenfromMillcoteortheneighbourhoodcalled,andsometimesstayedtodihhim.Whenhissprainwaswellenoughtoadmitofhorseexercise,herodeoutagooddeal;probablytoreturnthesevisits,ashegenerallydidnotebacktilllateatnight.
Duringthisinterval,evenAdèlewasseldomsentfortohispresendallmyacquaintahhimwasfioanoccasionalrentreinthehall,oairs,orinthegallery,whenhewouldsometimespassmehaughtilyandcoldly,justaowledgingmypresencebyadistantnodoracoolglandsometimesbowandsmilewithgentlemanlikeaffability.Hisgesofmooddidnotoffendme,becauseIsawthatIhadnothingtodowiththeiralternation;theebbandflowdependedoncausesquitedisectedwithme.
Onedayhehadhadpanytodinner,andhadsentformyportfolio;inorder,doubtless,toexhibititstents:thegentlemeawayearly,toattendapublicmeetingatMillcote,asMrs.Fairfaxinformedme;butthenightbeiandi,Mr.Rochesterdidnotapanythem.Sooheyweregoneherangthebell:amessagecamethatIandAdèleweretogodownstairs.IbrushedAdèle’shairandmadeher,andhavingascertaihatIwasmyselfinmyusualQuakertrim,wheretherewasnothingtoretouch—allbeingtoocloseandplain,braidedlocluded,toadmitofdisarra—wedesded,Adèlewwhetherthepetitcoffrewasatlengthe;for,owingtosomemistake,itsarrivalhadhithertobeendelayed.Shewasgratified:thereitstood,alittlecarton,oablewheeredthedining-room.Sheappearedtoknowitbyinstinct.
“Maboite!maboite!”exclaimedshe,runningtowardsit.
“Yes,thereisyour‘boite’atlast:takeitintoaer,yougenuinedaughterofParis,andamuseyourselfwithdisembowellingit,”saidthedeepandrathersarcasticvoir.Rochester,proceedingfromthedepthsofanimmenseeasy-chairatthefireside.“Andmind,”hetinued,“don’tbothermewithaailsoftheanatomicalprocess,oranynoticeoftheditionoftheentrails:letyouroperationbeductedinsileiens-toitranquille,enfant;prends-tu?”
Adèleseemedscarcelytohewarning—shehadalreadyretiredtoasofawithhertreasure,andwasbusyuntyingthecordwhichsecuredthelid.Havingremovedthisimpediment,andliftedcertainsilveryenvelopesoftissuepaper,shemerelyexclaimed—
“Ohciel!Quec’estbeau!”andthenremainedabsorbediatiplation.
“IsMissEyrethere?”nowdemahemaster,halfrisingfromhisseattolookroundtothedoor,nearwhichIstillstood.
“Ah!well,eforward;beseatedhere.”Hedrewachairnearhisown.“Iamnotfondoftheprattleofchildreinued;“for,oldbachelorasIam,Ihavenopleasantassociationsectedwiththeirlisp.Itwouldbeintolerabletometopassawholeeveningtête-à-têtewithabrat.Don’tdrawthatchairfartheroff,MissEyre;sitdowlywhereIplacedit—ifyouplease,thatis.foundthesecivilities!Itinuallyfetthem.NordoIparticularlyaffectsimple-mindedoldladies.By-the-bye,Imusthavemineinmind;itwon’tdotoher;sheisaFairfax,orwedtoone;andbloodissaidtobethickerthanwater.”
Herang,achedaninvitationtoMrs.Fairfax,whosoonarrived,knitting-basketinhand.
“Goodevening,madam;Isenttoyouforacharitablepurpose.IhaveforbiddenAdèletotalktomeaboutherpresents,andsheisburstingwithrepletion:havethegoodoserveherasauditressandinterlocutrice;itwillbeohemostbenevolentactsyoueverperformed.”
Adèle,indeed,nosoonersawMrs.Fairfax,thanshesummoohersofa,andtherequicklyfilledherlapwiththeporcelain,theivory,thewaxententsofher“boite;”pout,meantime,explanationsandrapturesinsuchbrokenEnglishasshewasmistressof.
“Noerformedthepartofagoodhost,”pursuedMr.Rochester,“putmyguestsintothewayofamusingeachother,Ioughttobeatlibertytoattendtomyownpleasure.MissEyre,drawyourchairstillalittlefartherforward:youareyettoofarback;Iotseeyouwithoutdisturbingmypositioninthisfortablechair,whichIhavenomindtodo.”
IdidasIwasbid,thoughIwouldmuchratherhaveremainedsomewhatintheshade;butMr.Rochesterhadsuchadirectwayofgivingorders,itseemedamatterofcoursetoobeyhimpromptly.
Wewere,asIhavesaid,inthedining-room:thelustre,whichhadbeenlitfordinner,filledtheroomwithafestalbreadthoflight;thelargefirewasallredahepurplecurtainshungridamplebeforetheloftywindowandloftierarch;everythingwasstill,savethesubduedchatofAdèle(shedarednotspeakloud),and,fillingupeachpause,thebeatingofwinterrainagainstthepanes.
Mr.Rochester,ashesatinhisdamask-coveredchair,lookeddifferenttowhatIhadseenhimlookbefore;notquitesostern—muchlessgloomy.Therewasasmileonhislips,andhiseyessparkled,whetherwithwineornot,Iamnotsure;butIthinkitveryprobable.Hewas,inshort,inhisafter-dinnermood;moreexpandedandgenial,andalsomoreself-indulgentthanthefrigidandrigidtemperofthem;stillhelookedpreciouslygrim,cushioninghismassiveheadagainsttheswellingbackofhischair,andreceivingthelightofthefireonhisgranite-hewures,andinhisgreat,darkeyes;forhehadgreat,darkeyes,andveryfioo—notwithoutacertaingeintheirdepthssometimes,which,ifitwasnotsoftness,remindedyou,atleast,ofthatfeeling.
Hehadbeenlookingtwomihefire,andIhadbeenlookingthesamelengthoftimeathim,when,turningsuddenly,hecaughtmygazefastenedonhisphysiognomy.
“Youexamineme,MissEyre,”saidhe:“doyouthinkmehandsome?”
Ishould,ifIhaddeliberated,haverepliedtothisquestionbysomethingventionallyvagueandpolite;buttheanswersomehowslippedfrommytonguebeforeIwasaware—“No,sir.”
“Ah!Bymyword!thereissomethingsingularaboutyou,”saidhe:“youhavetheairofalittlee;quaint,quiet,grave,andsimple,asyousitwithyourhandsbeforeyou,andyoureyesgenerallybentonthecarpet(except,by-the-bye,whentheyaredirectedpierglytomyface;asjustnow,forinstance);andwhenoneasksyouaquestion,ormakesaremarktowhichyouareobligedtoreply,yourapoutaroundrejoinder,which,ifnotblunt,isatleastbrusque.Whatdoyoumeanbyit?”
“Sir,Iwastooplain;Ibegyourpardon.Ioughttohaverepliedthatitwasogiveanimpromptuaoaquestionaboutappearahattastesmostlydiffer;andthatbeautyisoflittlesequenethingofthatsort.”
“Yououghttohaverepliednosuchthiyoflittlesequendeed!Andso,underpretenceofsofteningthepreviouse,ofstrokingandsoothioplacidity,youstickaslypenknifeundermyear!Goon:whatfaultdoyoufindwithme,pray?IsupposeIhaveallmylimbsandallmyfeatureslikeanyotherman?”
“Mr.Rochester,allowmetodisownmyfirstanswer:Iintendednopointedrepartee:itwasonlyablunder.”
“Justso:Ithinkso:andyoushallbeanswerableforit.Criticiseme:doesmyforeheadnotpleaseyou?”
Heliftedupthesablewavesofhairwhichlayhorizontallyoverhisbrow,andshowedasolidenoughmassofintellectualans,butanabruptdeficywherethesuavesignofbenevolenceshouldhaverisen.
“Now,ma’am,amIafool?”
“Farfromit,sir.Youwould,perhaps,thinkmerudeifIinquirediurheryouareaphilanthropist?”
“Thereagain!Aickofthepenknife,wheeopatmyhead:andthatisbecauseIsaidIdidnotlikethesocietyofchildrenandoldwomen(lowbeitspoken!).No,younglady,Iamnotageneralphilanthropist;butIbearasce;”andhepoiheprominenceswhicharesaidtoindicatethatfaculty,andwhich,fortunatelyforhim,weresuffitlyspicuous;giving,indeed,amarkedbreadthtotheupperpartofhishead:“and,besides,Ioncehadakindofrudetendernessofheart.WhenIwasasoldasyou,Iwasafeelingfellowenough,partialtotheunfledged,unfostered,andunlucky;butFortunehasknockedmeaboutsince:shehasevenkneadedmewithherknuckles,andnowIflattermyselfIamhardandtoughasanIndia-rubberball;pervious,though,throughakortwostill,andwithoientpointinthemiddleofthelump.Yes:doesthatleavehopeforme?”
“Hopeofwhat,sir?”
“OfmyfiransformationfromIndia-rubberbacktoflesh?”
“Decidedlyhehashadtoomue,”Ithought;andIdidnotknowwhataomaketohisqueerquestion:howcouldItellwhetherheableofbeiransformed?
“Youlookedverymuchpuzzled,MissEyre;andthoughyouarenotprettyanymorethanIamhandsome,yetapuzzledairbeesyou;besides,itisve,foritkeepsthoseseargeyesofyoursawayfrommyphysiognomy,andbusiesthemwiththeworstedflowersoftherug;sopuzzleon.Younglady,Iamdisposedtariousandunicativeto-night.”
Withthisannouherosefromhischair,andstood,leaninghisarmonthemarblemantelpiethatattitudehisshapewasseenplainlyaswellashisface;hisunusualbreadthofchest,disproportionatealmosttohislengthoflimb.Iamsuremostpeoplewouldhavethoughthimanuglymaherewassomusciousprideinhisport;somucheaseinhisdemeanour;suchalookofpleteindiffereohisowernalappearance;sohaughtyareliahepowerofotherqualities,intrinsicoradventitious,toatohelaerepersonalattractivehat,inlookingathim,oablysharedtheindifferend,eveninablind,imperfese,putfaithinthefidence.
“Iamdisposedtariousandunicativeto-night,”herepeated,“andthatiswhyIsentforyou:thefireandthedelierwerenotsuffitpanyforme;norwouldPilothavebeen,forhesetalk.Adèleisadegreebetter,butstillfarbelowthemark;Mrs.Fairfaxditto;you,Iampersuaded,suitmeifyouwill:youpuzzledmethefirsteveningIinvitedyoudownhere.Ihavealmostfottenyousiherideashavedrivenyoursfrommyhead;butto-nightIamresolvedtobeatease;todismissortunes,andrecallleases.Itwouldpleasemenowtodrawyouout—tolearnmoreofyou—thereforespeak.”
Insteadofspeaking,Ismiled;andnotaveryplatorsubmissivesmileeither.
“Speak,”heurged.
“Whatabout,sir?”
“Whateveryoulike.Ileaveboththechoiceofsubjedthemareatiirelytoyourself.”
AcclyIsatandsaidnothing:“Ifheexpectsmetotalkforthemeresakeoftalkingandshowingoff,hewillfindhehasaddressedhimselftothewrongperson,”Ithought.
“Youaredumb,MissEyre.”
Iwasdumbstill.Hebenthisheadalittletowardsme,andwithasiyglanceseemedtodiveintomyeyes.
“Stubborn?”hesaid,“andannoyed.Ah!itissistent.Iputmyrequestinanabsurd,almostiform.MissEyre,Ibegyourpardois,onceforall,Idon’twishtotreatyoulikeaninferior:thatis”(correghimself),“Iclaimonlysuchsuperiorityasmustresultfromtwentyyears’differenageaury’sadvanexperiehisislegitimate,etj’ytiens,asAdèlewouldsay;anditisbyvirtueofthissuperiority,andthisalohatIdesireyoutohavethegoodotalktomealittlenow,anddivertmythoughts,whicharegalledwithdwellingononepoint—keringasarustynail.”
Hehaddeignedanexplanation,almostanapology,andIdidnotfeelinsensibletohisdession,andwouldnotseemso.
“Iamwillingtoamuseyou,ifI,sir—quitewilling;butIotintroduceatopic,becausehowdoIknoilliyou?Askmequestions,andIwilldomybesttoahem.”
“Then,inthefirstplace,doyouagreewithmethatIhavearighttobealittlemasterful,abrupt,perhapsexag,sometimes,onthegroundsIstated,hatIamoldenoughtobeyourfather,andthatIhavebattledthroughavariedexperiehmanymenofmanynations,androamedoverhalftheglobe,whileyouhavelivedquietlywithoofpeopleinonehouse?”
“Doasyouplease,sir.”
“Thatisnoanswer;orratheritisaveryirritating,becauseaveryevasiveone.Replyclearly.”
“Idon’tthink,sir,youhavearighttoandme,merelybecauseyouareolderthanI,orbecauseyouhaveseeheworldthanIhave;yourclaimtosuperioritydependsontheuseyouhavemadeofyourtimeandexperience.”
“Humph!Promptlyspoken.ButIwon’tallowthat,seeingthatitwouldneversuitmycase,asIhavemadeanindifferent,nottosayabad,useofbothadvantages.Leavingsuperiorityoutofthequestion,then,youmuststillagreetoreceivemyordersnowandthen,withoutbeingpiquedorhurtbythetoneofand.Willyou?”
Ismiled:IthoughttomyselfMr.RochesterISpeculiar—heseemstetthathepaysme￡30perannumforreceivinghisorders.
“Thesmileisverywell,”saidhe,catginstantlythepassingexpression;“butspeaktoo.”
“Iwasthinking,sir,thatveryfewmasterswouldtroublethemselvestoinquirewhetherornottheirpaidsubordinateswerepiquedandhurtbytheirorders.”
“Paidsubordinates!What!youaremypaidsubordinate,areyou?Ohyes,Ihadfottenthesalary!Wellthen,onthatmeraryground,willyouagreetoletmehectoralittle?”
“No,sir,notonthatground;but,onthegroundthatyoudidfetit,andthatyoucarewhetherornotadepeisfortableinhisdependency,Iagreeheartily.”
“Andwillyousenttodispehagreatmanyventionalformsandphrases,withoutthinkingthattheomissionarisesfrominsolence?”
“Iamsure,sir,IshouldnevermistakeinformalityforinsoleneIratherlike,theothernothingfree-bornwouldsubmitto,evenforasalary.”
“Humbug!Mostthingsfree-bornwillsubmittoanythingforasalary;therefore,keeptoyourself,anddoureongeneralitiesofwhichyouareintenselyignorant.However,Imentallyshakehandswithyouforyouranswer,despiteitsinaccuradasmuchforthemannerinwhichitwassaid,asforthesubstahespeech;themannerwasfrankandsincere;ooftenseesuchamanner:no,orary,affectation,oress,orstupid,coarse-mindedmisapprehensionofone’smeaniheusualrewardsofdour.Notthreeihousandrawschool-girl-governesseswouldhaveansweredmeasyouhavejustdoIdooflatteryou:ifyouarecastinadifferentmouldtothemajority,itisofyours:Naturedidit.Andthen,afterall,Igotoofastinmyclusions:forwhatIyetknow,youmaybeertha;youmayhaveintolerabledefectstoterbalanceyoodpoints.”
“Andsomayyou,”Ithought.Myeyemethisastheideacrossedmymind:heseemedtoreadtheglansweringasifitsimporthadbeenspokenaswellasimagined—
“Yes,yes,yht,”saidhe;“Ihaveplentyoffaultsofmyown:Iknowit,andIdon’twishtopalliatethem,Iassureyou.GodwotIbetoosevereaboutothers;Ihaveapastexistence,aseriesofdeeds,acolouroflifetoplatewithinmyow,whichmightwellcallmysneersandsuresfrommyneighbourstomyself.Istarted,orrather(forlikeotherdefaulters,Iliketolayhalftheblameonillfortuneandadversecircumstances)wasthrustonttackattheageofone-and-twenty,andhaveneverrecoveredtherightcoursesiImighthavebeenverydifferent;Imighthavebeenasgoodasyou—wiser—almostasstainless.Ienvyyouyourpeaind,yoursce,yourunpollutedmemory.Littlegirl,amemorywithoutblotorinationmustbeanexquisitetreasure—aninexhaustiblesourceofpurerefreshment:isitnot?”
“Howwasyourmemorywhenyhteen,sir?”
“Allrightthen;limpid,salubrious:nogushofbilgewaterhadturofetidpuddle.Iwasyourequalateighteen—quiteyourequal.Naturemeaobe,onthewhole,agoodman,MissEyre;ohebetterkind,andyouseeIamnotso.Youwouldsayyoudo;atleastIflattermyselfIreadasmuyoureye(beware,by-the-bye,whatyouexpresswiththatan;Iamquickatinterpretingitslanguage).Thentakemywordforit,—Iamnotavillain:youarenottosupposethat—nottoattributetomeanysuchbademi,owing,Iverilybelieve,rathertocircumstahantomynaturalbent,Iamatriteonplaner,haeyedinallthepoorpettydissipationswithwhichtheridworthlesstrytoputonlife.DoyouwohatIavowthistoyou?Know,thatinthecourseofyourfuturelifeyouwilloftenfindyourselfelectedtheinvoluntaryfidantofyouracquaintances’secrets:peoplewillinstinctivelyfindout,asIhavedohatitisnotyourfortetotellofyourself,buttolistenwhileotherstalkofthemselves;theywillfeel,too,thatyoulistenwithnomalevolentsoftheirindiscretion,butwithakindofinnatesympathy;notthelessfandencingbecauseitisveryunobtrusiveinitsmaions.”
“Howdoyouknow?—howyouguessallthis,sir?”
“Iknowitwell;thereforeIproceedalmostasfreelyasifIwerewritingmythoughtsinadiary.Youwouldsay,Ishouldhavebeensuperiortocircumstances;soIshould—soIshould;butyouseeIwasnot.Whenfatewrongedme,Ihadnotthewisdomtoremaincool:Iturneddesperate;thenIdegeed.Now,whenanyvicioussimpletoesmydisgustbyhispaltryribaldry,IotflattermyselfthatIambetterthanhe:IamforcedtofessthatheandIareonalevel.IwishIhadstoodknowsIdo!Dreadremorsewhenyouaretemptedtoerr,MissEyre;remorseisthepoisonoflife.”
“Repentanceissaidtobeitscure,sir.”
“Itisnotitscure.Reformationmaybeitscure;andIcouldreform—Ihavestrengthyetforthat—if—butwhereistheuseofthinkingofit,hampered,burdened,cursedasIam?Besides,sincehappinessisirrevocablydeniedme,Ihavearighttogetpleasureoutoflife:andIwillgetit,costwhatitmay.”
“Thenyouwilldegeestillmore,sir.”
“Possibly:yetwhyshouldI,ifIgetsweet,freshpleasure?AndImaygetitassweetandfreshasthewildhohebeegathersonthemoor.”
“Itwillsting—itwilltastebitter,sir.”
“Howdoyouknow?—youriedit.Howveryserious—howverysolemnyoulook:andyouareasignorantofthematterasthiscameohead”(takingonefromthemantelpiece).“Youhavenhttopreae,youneophyte,thathavenotpassedtheporchoflife,andareabsolutelyunacquaihitsmysteries.”
“Ionlyremindyouofyourownwords,sir:yousaiderrhtremorse,andyoupronouncedremorsethepoisoence.”
“Andwhotalksoferrornow?Iscarcelythiionthatflitteredaybrainwasanerror.Ibelieveitwasaninspirationratherthaation:itwasverygenial,verysoothing—Iknowthat.Hereitesagain!Itisnodevil,Iassureyou;orifitbe,ithasputontherobesofanangeloflight.IthinkImustadmitsuestwhenitasksentraomyheart.”
“Distrustit,sir;itisnotatrueangel.”
“Oncemore,howdoyouknow?Bywhatinstinctdoyoupretendtodistinguishbetweenafallenseraphoftheabyssandamessengerfromtheeternalthroweenaguideandaseducer?”
“Ijudgedbyyourtenance,sir,whichwastroubledwhenyousaidthesuggestionhadreturneduponyou.Ifeelsureitwillworkyoumoremiseryifyoulistentoit.”
“Notatall—itbearsthemostgraessageintheworld:fortherest,youarenotmysce-keeper,sodon’tmakeyourselfuneasy.Here,ein,bonnywanderer!”
Hesaidthisasifhespoketoavision,viewlesstoahisown;then,foldinghisarms,whichhehadhalfextended,onhischest,heseemedtoencloseintheirembracetheinvisiblebeing.
“Now,”hetinued,againaddressingme,“Ihavereceivedthepilgrim—adisguiseddeity,asIverifybelieve.Alreadyithasdonemegood:myheartwasasortofel;itwillnowbeashrine.”
“Tospeaktruth,sir,Idon’tuandyouatall:Iotkeepuptheversation,becauseithasgotoutofmydepth.Onlyohing,Iknow:yousaidyouwerenotasgoodasyoushouldliketobe,andthatyrettedyourownimperfe;—ohingIprehend:youintimatedthattohaveasulliedmemoryetualbaseemstome,thatifyoutriedhard,youwouldintimefinditpossibletobeewhatyouyourselfwouldapprove;andthatiffromthisdayyoubeganwithresolutiontocorrectyourthoughtsandas,youwouldinafewyearshavelaidupanewandstaioreofrecolles,towhiightrevertwithpleasure.”
“Justlythought;rightlysaid,MissEyre;and,atthismoment,Iampavinghellwithenergy.”
“Sir?”
“Iamlayingdowngoodiions,whichIbelievedurableasfliainly,myassociatesandpursuitsshallbeotherthantheyhavebeen.”
“Aer?”
“Aer—somuchbetteraspureoreisthanfouldross.Youseemtodoubtme;Idon’tdoubtmyself:Iknowwhatmyaimis,whatmymotivesare;andatthismomentIpassalaw,unalterableasthatoftheMedesandPersians,thatbht.”
“Theyotbe,sir,iftheyrequireaatutetolegalisethem.”
“Theyare,MissEyre,thoughtheyabsolutelyrequireaatute:unheard-ofbinationsofcircumstancesdemandunheard-ofrules.”
“Thatsoundsadangerousmaxim,sir;becauseoneseeatoitisliabletoabuse.”
“Seioussage!soitis:butIswearbymyhouseholdgodsnottoabuseit.”
“Youarehumanandfallible.”
“Iam:soareyou—whatthen?”
“Thehumanandfallibleshouldnateapohichthedivineandperfectalonebesafelyintrusted.”
“ower?”
“Thatofsayingofanystrange,unsanedlineofa,—‘Letitberight.’”
“‘Letitberight’—theverywords:youhavepronouhem.”
“Mayitberightthen,”Isaid,asIrose,deemingituselesstotinueadiscoursewhichwasalldarkome;and,besides,sensiblethatthecharayinterlocutorwasbeyondmypeion;atleast,beyonditspresentreadfeelingtheuainty,thevaguesenseofinsecurity,whichapaniesaviofignorance.
“Whereareyougoing?”
“ToputAdèletobed:itispastherbedtime.”
“Youareafraidofme,becauseItalklikeaSphynx.”
“Yuageisenigmatical,sir:butthoughIambewildered,Iamcertainlynotafraid.”
“Youareafraid—yourself-lovedreadsablunder.”
“InthatsenseIdofeelapprehensive—Ihavenowishtotalknonsense.”
“Ifyoudid,itwouldbeinsuchagrave,quietmanner,Ishouldmistakeitforsense.Doyouneverlaugh,MissEyre?Don’ttroubleyourselftoanswer—Iseeyoulaughrarely;butyoulaughverymerrily:believeme,youarenotnaturallyaustere,anymorethanIamnaturallyvicious.TheLowoodstraintstillgstoyousomewhat;trollingyourfeatures,mufflingyourvoidrestrigyourlimbs;andyoufearinthepresenanandabrother—orfather,ormaster,orwhatyouwill—tosmiletoogaily,speaktoofreely,ormovetooquickly:but,ihinkyouwilllearuralwithme,asIfinditimpossibletobeventionalwithyou;andthenyourlooksandmovementswillhavemorevivacityandvarietythantheydareoffernow.Iseeatintervalstheglanceofacurioussortofbirdthroughtheclose-setbarsofacage:avivid,restless,resolutecaptiveisthere;wereitbutfree,itwouldsoarcloud-high.Youarestillbentongoing?”
“Ithasstrue,sir.”
“Nevermind,—waitaminute:Adèleisogotobedyet.Myposition,MissEyre,withmybacktothefire,andmyfacetotheroom,favoursobservation.Whiletalkingtoyou,IhavealsooccasionallywatchedAdèle(Ihavemyownreasonsforthinkingheracuriousstudy,—reasonsthatImay,nay,thatIshall,imparttoyousomeday).Shepulledoutofherbox,abouttenminutesago,alittlepinksilkfrock;rapturelitherfaceassheunfoldedit;coquetryrunsinherblood,blendswithherbrains,andseasonsthemarrowofherbones.‘Ilfautquejel’essaie!’criedshe,‘etàl’instantmême!’andsherushedoutoftheroom.SheisnowwithSophie,undergoingarobingprocess:inafewminutesshewillre-enter;andIknowwhatIshallsee,—aminiatureofeVarens,assheusedtoappearontheboardsattherisingof—Butnevermindthat.However,mytefeelingsareabouttoreceiveashock:suchismyprese;staynow,toseewhetheritwillberealised.”
Erelong,Adèle’slittlefootwasheardtrippingacrossthehall.Sheeransformedasherguardianhadpredicted.Adressofrose-colouredsatin,veryshort,andasfullintheskirtasitcouldbegathered,replacedthebrownfrockshehadpreviouslyworn;awreathofrosebudscircledherforehead;herfeetweredressedinsilkstogsandsmallwhitesatinsandals.
“Est-cequemarobevabien?”criedshe,boundingforwards;“etmessouliers?etmesbas?Tenez,jecroisquejevaisdanser!”
Andspreadingoutherdress,shechasséedacrosstheroomtill,havingreachedMr.Rochester,shewheeledlightlyroundbeforehimontip-toe,thendroppedonohisfeet,exclaiming—
“Monsieur,jevousremerciemillefoisdevotrebonté;”thenrising,sheadded,“C’estecelaquemamanfaisait,-cepas,monsieur?”
“Pre-cise-ly!”wastheanswer;“and,‘ecela,’shecharmedmyEnglishgoldoutofmyBritishbreeches’pocket.Ihavebeeoo,MissEyre,—ay,grassgreen:notamorevernaltintfreshensyounowthanoncefreshenedme.MySpringisgone,however,butithasleftmethatFrenchfloweretonmyhands,whisomemoods,Iwouldfainberidof.Notvaluingnowtherootwhesprang;havingfoundthatitwasofasortwhiothingbutgolddustanure,Ihavebuthalfalikingtotheblossom,especiallywhenitlookssoartificialasjustnow.IkeepitaratherontheRomanCatholicipleofexpiatingnumeroussins,greatorsmall,byonegoodwork.I’llexplainallthissomeday.Good-night.”松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
Duringthisinterval,evenAdèlewasseldomsentfortohispresendallmyacquaintahhimwasfioanoccasionalrentreinthehall,oairs,orinthegallery,whenhewouldsometimespassmehaughtilyandcoldly,justaowledgingmypresencebyadistantnodoracoolglandsometimesbowandsmilewithgentlemanlikeaffability.Hisgesofmooddidnotoffendme,becauseIsawthatIhadnothingtodowiththeiralternation;theebbandflowdependedoncausesquitedisectedwithme.
Onedayhehadhadpanytodinner,andhadsentformyportfolio;inorder,doubtless,toexhibititstents:thegentlemeawayearly,toattendapublicmeetingatMillcote,asMrs.Fairfaxinformedme;butthenightbeiandi,Mr.Rochesterdidnotapanythem.Sooheyweregoneherangthebell:amessagecamethatIandAdèleweretogodownstairs.IbrushedAdèle’shairandmadeher,andhavingascertaihatIwasmyselfinmyusualQuakertrim,wheretherewasnothingtoretouch—allbeingtoocloseandplain,braidedlocluded,toadmitofdisarra—wedesded,Adèlewwhetherthepetitcoffrewasatlengthe;for,owingtosomemistake,itsarrivalhadhithertobeendelayed.Shewasgratified:thereitstood,alittlecarton,oablewheeredthedining-room.Sheappearedtoknowitbyinstinct.
“Maboite!maboite!”exclaimedshe,runningtowardsit.
“Yes,thereisyour‘boite’atlast:takeitintoaer,yougenuinedaughterofParis,andamuseyourselfwithdisembowellingit,”saidthedeepandrathersarcasticvoir.Rochester,proceedingfromthedepthsofanimmenseeasy-chairatthefireside.“Andmind,”hetinued,“don’tbothermewithaailsoftheanatomicalprocess,oranynoticeoftheditionoftheentrails:letyouroperationbeductedinsileiens-toitranquille,enfant;prends-tu?”
Adèleseemedscarcelytohewarning—shehadalreadyretiredtoasofawithhertreasure,andwasbusyuntyingthecordwhichsecuredthelid.Havingremovedthisimpediment,andliftedcertainsilveryenvelopesoftissuepaper,shemerelyexclaimed—
“Ohciel!Quec’estbeau!”andthenremainedabsorbediatiplation.
“IsMissEyrethere?”nowdemahemaster,halfrisingfromhisseattolookroundtothedoor,nearwhichIstillstood.
“Ah!well,eforward;beseatedhere.”Hedrewachairnearhisown.“Iamnotfondoftheprattleofchildreinued;“for,oldbachelorasIam,Ihavenopleasantassociationsectedwiththeirlisp.Itwouldbeintolerabletometopassawholeeveningtête-à-têtewithabrat.Don’tdrawthatchairfartheroff,MissEyre;sitdowlywhereIplacedit—ifyouplease,thatis.foundthesecivilities!Itinuallyfetthem.NordoIparticularlyaffectsimple-mindedoldladies.By-the-bye,Imusthavemineinmind;itwon’tdotoher;sheisaFairfax,orwedtoone;andbloodissaidtobethickerthanwater.”
Herang,achedaninvitationtoMrs.Fairfax,whosoonarrived,knitting-basketinhand.
“Goodevening,madam;Isenttoyouforacharitablepurpose.IhaveforbiddenAdèletotalktomeaboutherpresents,andsheisburstingwithrepletion:havethegoodoserveherasauditressandinterlocutrice;itwillbeohemostbenevolentactsyoueverperformed.”
Adèle,indeed,nosoonersawMrs.Fairfax,thanshesummoohersofa,andtherequicklyfilledherlapwiththeporcelain,theivory,thewaxententsofher“boite;”pout,meantime,explanationsandrapturesinsuchbrokenEnglishasshewasmistressof.
“Noerformedthepartofagoodhost,”pursuedMr.Rochester,“putmyguestsintothewayofamusingeachother,Ioughttobeatlibertytoattendtomyownpleasure.MissEyre,drawyourchairstillalittlefartherforward:youareyettoofarback;Iotseeyouwithoutdisturbingmypositioninthisfortablechair,whichIhavenomindtodo.”
IdidasIwasbid,thoughIwouldmuchratherhaveremainedsomewhatintheshade;butMr.Rochesterhadsuchadirectwayofgivingorders,itseemedamatterofcoursetoobeyhimpromptly.
Wewere,asIhavesaid,inthedining-room:thelustre,whichhadbeenlitfordinner,filledtheroomwithafestalbreadthoflight;thelargefirewasallredahepurplecurtainshungridamplebeforetheloftywindowandloftierarch;everythingwasstill,savethesubduedchatofAdèle(shedarednotspeakloud),and,fillingupeachpause,thebeatingofwinterrainagainstthepanes.
Mr.Rochester,ashesatinhisdamask-coveredchair,lookeddifferenttowhatIhadseenhimlookbefore;notquitesostern—muchlessgloomy.Therewasasmileonhislips,andhiseyessparkled,whetherwithwineornot,Iamnotsure;butIthinkitveryprobable.Hewas,inshort,inhisafter-dinnermood;moreexpandedandgenial,andalsomoreself-indulgentthanthefrigidandrigidtemperofthem;stillhelookedpreciouslygrim,cushioninghismassiveheadagainsttheswellingbackofhischair,andreceivingthelightofthefireonhisgranite-hewures,andinhisgreat,darkeyes;forhehadgreat,darkeyes,andveryfioo—notwithoutacertaingeintheirdepthssometimes,which,ifitwasnotsoftness,remindedyou,atleast,ofthatfeeling.
Hehadbeenlookingtwomihefire,andIhadbeenlookingthesamelengthoftimeathim,when,turningsuddenly,hecaughtmygazefastenedonhisphysiognomy.
“Youexamineme,MissEyre,”saidhe:“doyouthinkmehandsome?”
Ishould,ifIhaddeliberated,haverepliedtothisquestionbysomethingventionallyvagueandpolite;buttheanswersomehowslippedfrommytonguebeforeIwasaware—“No,sir.”
“Ah!Bymyword!thereissomethingsingularaboutyou,”saidhe:“youhavetheairofalittlee;quaint,quiet,grave,andsimple,asyousitwithyourhandsbeforeyou,andyoureyesgenerallybentonthecarpet(except,by-the-bye,whentheyaredirectedpierglytomyface;asjustnow,forinstance);andwhenoneasksyouaquestion,ormakesaremarktowhichyouareobligedtoreply,yourapoutaroundrejoinder,which,ifnotblunt,isatleastbrusque.Whatdoyoumeanbyit?”
“Sir,Iwastooplain;Ibegyourpardon.Ioughttohaverepliedthatitwasogiveanimpromptuaoaquestionaboutappearahattastesmostlydiffer;andthatbeautyisoflittlesequenethingofthatsort.”
“Yououghttohaverepliednosuchthiyoflittlesequendeed!Andso,underpretenceofsofteningthepreviouse,ofstrokingandsoothioplacidity,youstickaslypenknifeundermyear!Goon:whatfaultdoyoufindwithme,pray?IsupposeIhaveallmylimbsandallmyfeatureslikeanyotherman?”
“Mr.Rochester,allowmetodisownmyfirstanswer:Iintendednopointedrepartee:itwasonlyablunder.”
“Justso:Ithinkso:andyoushallbeanswerableforit.Criticiseme:doesmyforeheadnotpleaseyou?”
Heliftedupthesablewavesofhairwhichlayhorizontallyoverhisbrow,andshowedasolidenoughmassofintellectualans,butanabruptdeficywherethesuavesignofbenevolenceshouldhaverisen.
“Now,ma’am,amIafool?”
“Farfromit,sir.Youwould,perhaps,thinkmerudeifIinquirediurheryouareaphilanthropist?”
“Thereagain!Aickofthepenknife,wheeopatmyhead:andthatisbecauseIsaidIdidnotlikethesocietyofchildrenandoldwomen(lowbeitspoken!).No,younglady,Iamnotageneralphilanthropist;butIbearasce;”andhepoiheprominenceswhicharesaidtoindicatethatfaculty,andwhich,fortunatelyforhim,weresuffitlyspicuous;giving,indeed,amarkedbreadthtotheupperpartofhishead:“and,besides,Ioncehadakindofrudetendernessofheart.WhenIwasasoldasyou,Iwasafeelingfellowenough,partialtotheunfledged,unfostered,andunlucky;butFortunehasknockedmeaboutsince:shehasevenkneadedmewithherknuckles,andnowIflattermyselfIamhardandtoughasanIndia-rubberball;pervious,though,throughakortwostill,andwithoientpointinthemiddleofthelump.Yes:doesthatleavehopeforme?”
“Hopeofwhat,sir?”
“OfmyfiransformationfromIndia-rubberbacktoflesh?”
“Decidedlyhehashadtoomue,”Ithought;andIdidnotknowwhataomaketohisqueerquestion:howcouldItellwhetherheableofbeiransformed?
“Youlookedverymuchpuzzled,MissEyre;andthoughyouarenotprettyanymorethanIamhandsome,yetapuzzledairbeesyou;besides,itisve,foritkeepsthoseseargeyesofyoursawayfrommyphysiognomy,andbusiesthemwiththeworstedflowersoftherug;sopuzzleon.Younglady,Iamdisposedtariousandunicativeto-night.”
Withthisannouherosefromhischair,andstood,leaninghisarmonthemarblemantelpiethatattitudehisshapewasseenplainlyaswellashisface;hisunusualbreadthofchest,disproportionatealmosttohislengthoflimb.Iamsuremostpeoplewouldhavethoughthimanuglymaherewassomusciousprideinhisport;somucheaseinhisdemeanour;suchalookofpleteindiffereohisowernalappearance;sohaughtyareliahepowerofotherqualities,intrinsicoradventitious,toatohelaerepersonalattractivehat,inlookingathim,oablysharedtheindifferend,eveninablind,imperfese,putfaithinthefidence.
“Iamdisposedtariousandunicativeto-night,”herepeated,“andthatiswhyIsentforyou:thefireandthedelierwerenotsuffitpanyforme;norwouldPilothavebeen,forhesetalk.Adèleisadegreebetter,butstillfarbelowthemark;Mrs.Fairfaxditto;you,Iampersuaded,suitmeifyouwill:youpuzzledmethefirsteveningIinvitedyoudownhere.Ihavealmostfottenyousiherideashavedrivenyoursfrommyhead;butto-nightIamresolvedtobeatease;todismissortunes,andrecallleases.Itwouldpleasemenowtodrawyouout—tolearnmoreofyou—thereforespeak.”
Insteadofspeaking,Ismiled;andnotaveryplatorsubmissivesmileeither.
“Speak,”heurged.
“Whatabout,sir?”
“Whateveryoulike.Ileaveboththechoiceofsubjedthemareatiirelytoyourself.”
AcclyIsatandsaidnothing:“Ifheexpectsmetotalkforthemeresakeoftalkingandshowingoff,hewillfindhehasaddressedhimselftothewrongperson,”Ithought.
“Youaredumb,MissEyre.”
Iwasdumbstill.Hebenthisheadalittletowardsme,andwithasiyglanceseemedtodiveintomyeyes.
“Stubborn?”hesaid,“andannoyed.Ah!itissistent.Iputmyrequestinanabsurd,almostiform.MissEyre,Ibegyourpardois,onceforall,Idon’twishtotreatyoulikeaninferior:thatis”(correghimself),“Iclaimonlysuchsuperiorityasmustresultfromtwentyyears’differenageaury’sadvanexperiehisislegitimate,etj’ytiens,asAdèlewouldsay;anditisbyvirtueofthissuperiority,andthisalohatIdesireyoutohavethegoodotalktomealittlenow,anddivertmythoughts,whicharegalledwithdwellingononepoint—keringasarustynail.”
Hehaddeignedanexplanation,almostanapology,andIdidnotfeelinsensibletohisdession,andwouldnotseemso.
“Iamwillingtoamuseyou,ifI,sir—quitewilling;butIotintroduceatopic,becausehowdoIknoilliyou?Askmequestions,andIwilldomybesttoahem.”
“Then,inthefirstplace,doyouagreewithmethatIhavearighttobealittlemasterful,abrupt,perhapsexag,sometimes,onthegroundsIstated,hatIamoldenoughtobeyourfather,andthatIhavebattledthroughavariedexperiehmanymenofmanynations,androamedoverhalftheglobe,whileyouhavelivedquietlywithoofpeopleinonehouse?”
“Doasyouplease,sir.”
“Thatisnoanswer;orratheritisaveryirritating,becauseaveryevasiveone.Replyclearly.”
“Idon’tthink,sir,youhavearighttoandme,merelybecauseyouareolderthanI,orbecauseyouhaveseeheworldthanIhave;yourclaimtosuperioritydependsontheuseyouhavemadeofyourtimeandexperience.”
“Humph!Promptlyspoken.ButIwon’tallowthat,seeingthatitwouldneversuitmycase,asIhavemadeanindifferent,nottosayabad,useofbothadvantages.Leavingsuperiorityoutofthequestion,then,youmuststillagreetoreceivemyordersnowandthen,withoutbeingpiquedorhurtbythetoneofand.Willyou?”
Ismiled:IthoughttomyselfMr.RochesterISpeculiar—heseemstetthathepaysme￡30perannumforreceivinghisorders.
“Thesmileisverywell,”saidhe,catginstantlythepassingexpression;“butspeaktoo.”
“Iwasthinking,sir,thatveryfewmasterswouldtroublethemselvestoinquirewhetherornottheirpaidsubordinateswerepiquedandhurtbytheirorders.”
“Paidsubordinates!What!youaremypaidsubordinate,areyou?Ohyes,Ihadfottenthesalary!Wellthen,onthatmeraryground,willyouagreetoletmehectoralittle?”
“No,sir,notonthatground;but,onthegroundthatyoudidfetit,andthatyoucarewhetherornotadepeisfortableinhisdependency,Iagreeheartily.”
“Andwillyousenttodispehagreatmanyventionalformsandphrases,withoutthinkingthattheomissionarisesfrominsolence?”
“Iamsure,sir,IshouldnevermistakeinformalityforinsoleneIratherlike,theothernothingfree-bornwouldsubmitto,evenforasalary.”
“Humbug!Mostthingsfree-bornwillsubmittoanythingforasalary;therefore,keeptoyourself,anddoureongeneralitiesofwhichyouareintenselyignorant.However,Imentallyshakehandswithyouforyouranswer,despiteitsinaccuradasmuchforthemannerinwhichitwassaid,asforthesubstahespeech;themannerwasfrankandsincere;ooftenseesuchamanner:no,orary,affectation,oress,orstupid,coarse-mindedmisapprehensionofone’smeaniheusualrewardsofdour.Notthreeihousandrawschool-girl-governesseswouldhaveansweredmeasyouhavejustdoIdooflatteryou:ifyouarecastinadifferentmouldtothemajority,itisofyours:Naturedidit.Andthen,afterall,Igotoofastinmyclusions:forwhatIyetknow,youmaybeertha;youmayhaveintolerabledefectstoterbalanceyoodpoints.”
“Andsomayyou,”Ithought.Myeyemethisastheideacrossedmymind:heseemedtoreadtheglansweringasifitsimporthadbeenspokenaswellasimagined—
“Yes,yes,yht,”saidhe;“Ihaveplentyoffaultsofmyown:Iknowit,andIdon’twishtopalliatethem,Iassureyou.GodwotIbetoosevereaboutothers;Ihaveapastexistence,aseriesofdeeds,acolouroflifetoplatewithinmyow,whichmightwellcallmysneersandsuresfrommyneighbourstomyself.Istarted,orrather(forlikeotherdefaulters,Iliketolayhalftheblameonillfortuneandadversecircumstances)wasthrustonttackattheageofone-and-twenty,andhaveneverrecoveredtherightcoursesiImighthavebeenverydifferent;Imighthavebeenasgoodasyou—wiser—almostasstainless.Ienvyyouyourpeaind,yoursce,yourunpollutedmemory.Littlegirl,amemorywithoutblotorinationmustbeanexquisitetreasure—aninexhaustiblesourceofpurerefreshment:isitnot?”
“Howwasyourmemorywhenyhteen,sir?”
“Allrightthen;limpid,salubrious:nogushofbilgewaterhadturofetidpuddle.Iwasyourequalateighteen—quiteyourequal.Naturemeaobe,onthewhole,agoodman,MissEyre;ohebetterkind,andyouseeIamnotso.Youwouldsayyoudo;atleastIflattermyselfIreadasmuyoureye(beware,by-the-bye,whatyouexpresswiththatan;Iamquickatinterpretingitslanguage).Thentakemywordforit,—Iamnotavillain:youarenottosupposethat—nottoattributetomeanysuchbademi,owing,Iverilybelieve,rathertocircumstahantomynaturalbent,Iamatriteonplaner,haeyedinallthepoorpettydissipationswithwhichtheridworthlesstrytoputonlife.DoyouwohatIavowthistoyou?Know,thatinthecourseofyourfuturelifeyouwilloftenfindyourselfelectedtheinvoluntaryfidantofyouracquaintances’secrets:peoplewillinstinctivelyfindout,asIhavedohatitisnotyourfortetotellofyourself,buttolistenwhileotherstalkofthemselves;theywillfeel,too,thatyoulistenwithnomalevolentsoftheirindiscretion,butwithakindofinnatesympathy;notthelessfandencingbecauseitisveryunobtrusiveinitsmaions.”
“Howdoyouknow?—howyouguessallthis,sir?”
“Iknowitwell;thereforeIproceedalmostasfreelyasifIwerewritingmythoughtsinadiary.Youwouldsay,Ishouldhavebeensuperiortocircumstances;soIshould—soIshould;butyouseeIwasnot.Whenfatewrongedme,Ihadnotthewisdomtoremaincool:Iturneddesperate;thenIdegeed.Now,whenanyvicioussimpletoesmydisgustbyhispaltryribaldry,IotflattermyselfthatIambetterthanhe:IamforcedtofessthatheandIareonalevel.IwishIhadstoodknowsIdo!Dreadremorsewhenyouaretemptedtoerr,MissEyre;remorseisthepoisonoflife.”
“Repentanceissaidtobeitscure,sir.”
“Itisnotitscure.Reformationmaybeitscure;andIcouldreform—Ihavestrengthyetforthat—if—butwhereistheuseofthinkingofit,hampered,burdened,cursedasIam?Besides,sincehappinessisirrevocablydeniedme,Ihavearighttogetpleasureoutoflife:andIwillgetit,costwhatitmay.”
“Thenyouwilldegeestillmore,sir.”
“Possibly:yetwhyshouldI,ifIgetsweet,freshpleasure?AndImaygetitassweetandfreshasthewildhohebeegathersonthemoor.”
“Itwillsting—itwilltastebitter,sir.”
“Howdoyouknow?—youriedit.Howveryserious—howverysolemnyoulook:andyouareasignorantofthematterasthiscameohead”(takingonefromthemantelpiece).“Youhavenhttopreae,youneophyte,thathavenotpassedtheporchoflife,andareabsolutelyunacquaihitsmysteries.”
“Ionlyremindyouofyourownwords,sir:yousaiderrhtremorse,andyoupronouncedremorsethepoisoence.”
“Andwhotalksoferrornow?Iscarcelythiionthatflitteredaybrainwasanerror.Ibelieveitwasaninspirationratherthaation:itwasverygenial,verysoothing—Iknowthat.Hereitesagain!Itisnodevil,Iassureyou;orifitbe,ithasputontherobesofanangeloflight.IthinkImustadmitsuestwhenitasksentraomyheart.”
“Distrustit,sir;itisnotatrueangel.”
“Oncemore,howdoyouknow?Bywhatinstinctdoyoupretendtodistinguishbetweenafallenseraphoftheabyssandamessengerfromtheeternalthroweenaguideandaseducer?”
“Ijudgedbyyourtenance,sir,whichwastroubledwhenyousaidthesuggestionhadreturneduponyou.Ifeelsureitwillworkyoumoremiseryifyoulistentoit.”
“Notatall—itbearsthemostgraessageintheworld:fortherest,youarenotmysce-keeper,sodon’tmakeyourselfuneasy.Here,ein,bonnywanderer!”
Hesaidthisasifhespoketoavision,viewlesstoahisown;then,foldinghisarms,whichhehadhalfextended,onhischest,heseemedtoencloseintheirembracetheinvisiblebeing.
“Now,”hetinued,againaddressingme,“Ihavereceivedthepilgrim—adisguiseddeity,asIverifybelieve.Alreadyithasdonemegood:myheartwasasortofel;itwillnowbeashrine.”
“Tospeaktruth,sir,Idon’tuandyouatall:Iotkeepuptheversation,becauseithasgotoutofmydepth.Onlyohing,Iknow:yousaidyouwerenotasgoodasyoushouldliketobe,andthatyrettedyourownimperfe;—ohingIprehend:youintimatedthattohaveasulliedmemoryetualbaseemstome,thatifyoutriedhard,youwouldintimefinditpossibletobeewhatyouyourselfwouldapprove;andthatiffromthisdayyoubeganwithresolutiontocorrectyourthoughtsandas,youwouldinafewyearshavelaidupanewandstaioreofrecolles,towhiightrevertwithpleasure.”
“Justlythought;rightlysaid,MissEyre;and,atthismoment,Iampavinghellwithenergy.”
“Sir?”
“Iamlayingdowngoodiions,whichIbelievedurableasfliainly,myassociatesandpursuitsshallbeotherthantheyhavebeen.”
“Aer?”
“Aer—somuchbetteraspureoreisthanfouldross.Youseemtodoubtme;Idon’tdoubtmyself:Iknowwhatmyaimis,whatmymotivesare;andatthismomentIpassalaw,unalterableasthatoftheMedesandPersians,thatbht.”
“Theyotbe,sir,iftheyrequireaatutetolegalisethem.”
“Theyare,MissEyre,thoughtheyabsolutelyrequireaatute:unheard-ofbinationsofcircumstancesdemandunheard-ofrules.”
“Thatsoundsadangerousmaxim,sir;becauseoneseeatoitisliabletoabuse.”
“Seioussage!soitis:butIswearbymyhouseholdgodsnottoabuseit.”
“Youarehumanandfallible.”
“Iam:soareyou—whatthen?”
“Thehumanandfallibleshouldnateapohichthedivineandperfectalonebesafelyintrusted.”
“ower?”
“Thatofsayingofanystrange,unsanedlineofa,—‘Letitberight.’”
“‘Letitberight’—theverywords:youhavepronouhem.”
“Mayitberightthen,”Isaid,asIrose,deemingituselesstotinueadiscoursewhichwasalldarkome;and,besides,sensiblethatthecharayinterlocutorwasbeyondmypeion;atleast,beyonditspresentreadfeelingtheuainty,thevaguesenseofinsecurity,whichapaniesaviofignorance.
“Whereareyougoing?”
“ToputAdèletobed:itispastherbedtime.”
“Youareafraidofme,becauseItalklikeaSphynx.”
“Yuageisenigmatical,sir:butthoughIambewildered,Iamcertainlynotafraid.”
“Youareafraid—yourself-lovedreadsablunder.”
“InthatsenseIdofeelapprehensive—Ihavenowishtotalknonsense.”
“Ifyoudid,itwouldbeinsuchagrave,quietmanner,Ishouldmistakeitforsense.Doyouneverlaugh,MissEyre?Don’ttroubleyourselftoanswer—Iseeyoulaughrarely;butyoulaughverymerrily:believeme,youarenotnaturallyaustere,anymorethanIamnaturallyvicious.TheLowoodstraintstillgstoyousomewhat;trollingyourfeatures,mufflingyourvoidrestrigyourlimbs;andyoufearinthepresenanandabrother—orfather,ormaster,orwhatyouwill—tosmiletoogaily,speaktoofreely,ormovetooquickly:but,ihinkyouwilllearuralwithme,asIfinditimpossibletobeventionalwithyou;andthenyourlooksandmovementswillhavemorevivacityandvarietythantheydareoffernow.Iseeatintervalstheglanceofacurioussortofbirdthroughtheclose-setbarsofacage:avivid,restless,resolutecaptiveisthere;wereitbutfree,itwouldsoarcloud-high.Youarestillbentongoing?”
“Ithasstrue,sir.”
“Nevermind,—waitaminute:Adèleisogotobedyet.Myposition,MissEyre,withmybacktothefire,andmyfacetotheroom,favoursobservation.Whiletalkingtoyou,IhavealsooccasionallywatchedAdèle(Ihavemyownreasonsforthinkingheracuriousstudy,—reasonsthatImay,nay,thatIshall,imparttoyousomeday).Shepulledoutofherbox,abouttenminutesago,alittlepinksilkfrock;rapturelitherfaceassheunfoldedit;coquetryrunsinherblood,blendswithherbrains,andseasonsthemarrowofherbones.‘Ilfautquejel’essaie!’criedshe,‘etàl’instantmême!’andsherushedoutoftheroom.SheisnowwithSophie,undergoingarobingprocess:inafewminutesshewillre-enter;andIknowwhatIshallsee,—aminiatureofeVarens,assheusedtoappearontheboardsattherisingof—Butnevermindthat.However,mytefeelingsareabouttoreceiveashock:suchismyprese;staynow,toseewhetheritwillberealised.”
Erelong,Adèle’slittlefootwasheardtrippingacrossthehall.Sheeransformedasherguardianhadpredicted.Adressofrose-colouredsatin,veryshort,andasfullintheskirtasitcouldbegathered,replacedthebrownfrockshehadpreviouslyworn;awreathofrosebudscircledherforehead;herfeetweredressedinsilkstogsandsmallwhitesatinsandals.
“Est-cequemarobevabien?”criedshe,boundingforwards;“etmessouliers?etmesbas?Tenez,jecroisquejevaisdanser!”
Andspreadingoutherdress,shechasséedacrosstheroomtill,havingreachedMr.Rochester,shewheeledlightlyroundbeforehimontip-toe,thendroppedonohisfeet,exclaiming—
“Monsieur,jevousremerciemillefoisdevotrebonté;”thenrising,sheadded,“C’estecelaquemamanfaisait,-cepas,monsieur?”
“Pre-cise-ly!”wastheanswer;“and,‘ecela,’shecharmedmyEnglishgoldoutofmyBritishbreeches’pocket.Ihavebeeoo,MissEyre,—ay,grassgreen:notamorevernaltintfreshensyounowthanoncefreshenedme.MySpringisgone,however,butithasleftmethatFrenchfloweretonmyhands,whisomemoods,Iwouldfainberidof.Notvaluingnowtherootwhesprang;havingfoundthatitwasofasortwhiothingbutgolddustanure,Ihavebuthalfalikingtotheblossom,especiallywhenitlookssoartificialasjustnow.IkeepitaratherontheRomanCatholicipleofexpiatingnumeroussins,greatorsmall,byonegoodwork.I’llexplainallthissomeday.Good-night.”松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
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