Chapter 22
Mr.Rochesterhadgiveoneweek’sleaveofabseamonthelapsedbeforeIquittedGateshead.Iwishedtoleaveimmediatelyafterthefuneral,butGeiareatedmetostaytillshecouldgetofftoLondon,whithershewasnowatlastinvitedbyheruncle,Mr.Gibson,whohadedowntodirecthissister’sintermentalethefamilyaffairs.GeianasaidshedreadedbeialohEliza;frothersympathyinherdeje,supportinherfears,noraidinherpreparations;soIborewithherfeeble-mindedwailingsandselfishlamentationsaswellasIcould,anddidmybestinsewingforherandpagherdresses.Itistrue,thatwhileIworked,shewouldidle;andIthoughttomyself,“IfyouandIweredestiolivealwaystogether,cousin,wewouldeersonadifferentfooting.Ishouldletamelydowniheforbearingparty;Ishouldassignyouyourshareoflabour,andpelyoutoaplishit,orelseitshouldbeleftundone:Ishouldinsist,also,onyourkeepingsomeofthosedrawling,half-insincereplaintshushedinyourow.Itisonlybecauseourehappenstobeverytransitory,andesatapeculiarlymournfulseason,thatIsentthustoresopatientandpliantonmypart.”
AtlastIsawGeianaoff;butnowitwasEliza’sturntorequestmetostayanotherweek.Herplansrequiredallhertimeandattention,shesaid;shewasabouttodepartforsomeunknownbourne;andalldayloayedinherownroom,herdoorboltedwithin,fillingtruyingdrawers,burningpapers,andholdingnounicationwithanyone.Shewishedmetolookafterthehouse,toseecallers,andaesofdolence.
OnemshetoldmeIwasatliberty.“And,”sheadded,“Iamobligedtoyouforyourvaluableserviddiscreetduct!ThereissomediffereweenlivingwithsuoneasyouandwithGeiana:youperformyourownpartinlifeandburdeno-morrow,”shetinued,“Isetoutfortheti.IshalltakeupmyabodeinareligioushousenearLisle—anunneryyouwouldcallit;thereIshallbequietandued.IshalldevotemyselfforatimetotheexaminationoftheRomanCatholias,andtoacarefulstudyofthewsoftheirsystem:ifIfindittobe,asIhalfsuspectitis,theocalculatedtoehedoingofallthilyandinorder,IshallembracethetesofRomeandprobablytaketheveil.”
Iherexpressedsurpriseatthisresolutionnorattemptedtodissuadeherfromit.“Thevocationwillfityoutoahair,”Ithought:“muayitdoyou!”
Wheed,shesaid:“Good-bye,cousinJaneEyre;Iwishyouwell:youhavesomesense.”
Itheurned:“Youarenotwithoutsense,cousinEliza;butwhatyouhave,Isuppose,inanotheryearwillbewalledupaliveinaFrenvent.However,itisnotmybusiness,andsoitsuitsyou,Idon’tmuchcare.”
“Youareintheright,”saidshe;andwiththesewordsweeatourseparateway.AsIshallnothaveoccasiontorefereithertoherorhersisteragain,ImayaswellmentiohatGeianamadeanadvantageousmatchwithawealthyworn-outmanoffashion,andthatElizaactuallytooktheveil,andisatthisdaysuperioroftheventwhereshepassedtheperiodofhernovitiate,andwhichsheehherfortune.
Howpeoplefeelwhentheyarereturninghomefromanabsence,longorshort,Ididnotknow:Ihadneverexperiehesensation.IhadknownwhatitwastoebacktoGatesheadwhenachildafteralongwalk,tobescoldedforlookingcloomy;andlater,whatitwastoebachurchtoLowood,tolongforaplenteousmealandagoodfire,andtobeuogeteither.herofthesereturningswasverypleasantordesirable:nomagdrewmetoagivenpoint,increasinginitsstrengthofattrathenearerIcame.ThereturntoThornfieldwasyettobetried.
Myjourneyseemedtedious—verytedious:fiftymilesoneday,anightspentataninn;fiftymilestheday.DuringthefirsttwelvehoursIthoughtofMrs.Reedinherlastmoments;Isawherdisfiguredanddiscolouredfadheardherstrangelyalteredvoice.Imusedonthefuneralday,thecoffin,thehearse,theblacktraisandservants—fewwasthenumberofrelatives—thegapingvault,thesilentchurch,thesolemnservice.ThenIthoughtofElizaandGeiana;Ibeheldoheosureofaball-room,theothertheinmateofaventcell;andIdweltonandanalysedtheirseparatepeculiaritiesofpersonandcharacter.Theeveningarrivalatthegreattownof—scatteredthesethoughts;nightgavethemquiteaurn:laiddownonmytraveller’sbed,Ileftreminisceforanticipation.
IwasgoingbacktoThornfield:buthowlongwasItostaythere?Notlong;ofthatIwassure.IhadheardfromMrs.Fairfaxierimofmyabsehepartyatthehallwasdispersed;Mr.RochesterhadleftforLondonthreeweeksago,buthewastheedtoreturninafht.Mrs.Fairfaxsurmisedthathewasgoomakearrasforhiswedding,ashehadtalkedofpurchasinganewcarriage:shesaidtheideaofhismarryingMissIngramstillseemedstraoher;butfromwhateverybodysaid,andfromwhatshehadherselfseen,shecouldnolongerdoubtthattheeventwouldshortlytakeplace.“Youwouldbestrangelyincredulousifyoudiddoubtit,”wasmymentalent.“Idon’tdoubtit.”
Thequestionfollowed,“WherewasItogo?”IdreamtofMissIngramallthenight:inavividmdreamIsawherclosiesofThornfieldagainstmeandpointianotherroad;andMr.Rochesterlookedonwithhisarmsfolded—smilingsardonically,asitseemed,atbothherandme.
IhadnotnotifiedtoMrs.Fairfaxtheexactdayofmyreturn;forIdidnotwisheithercaretomeetmeatMillcote.Iproposedtowalkthedistancequietlybymyself;andveryquietly,afterleavingmyboxiler’scare,didIslipawayfromtheGeeInn,aboutsixo’clockofaJuneevening,andtaketheoldroadtoThornfield:aroadwhichlaychieflythroughfields,andwasnowlittlefrequented.
Itwasnhtorsplendidsummerevening,thoughfairandsoft:thehaymakerswereatworkallalongtheroad;andthesky,thoughfarfromcloudless,wassuchaspromisedwellforthefuture:itsblue—wherebluewasvisible—wasmildaled,anditscloudstratahighandthi,too,waswarm:nowaterygleamchilledit—itseemedasiftherewasafirelit,analtarburningbehinditssofmarbledvapour,andoutofaperturesshoneagoldenredness.
Ifeltgladastheroadshortenedbeforeme:sogladthatIstoppedooaskmyselfwhatthatjoymeant:andtoremindreasonthatitwasnottomyhomeIwasgoing,ortoapermaresting-place,ortoaplacewherefondfriendslookedoutformeandwaitedmyarrival.“Mrs.Fairfaxwillsmileyouacalmwele,tobesure,”saidI;“andlittleAdèlewillclapherhandsandjumptoseeyou:butyouknowverywellyouarethinkingofahanthey,andthatheisnotthinkingofyou.”
Butwhatissoheadstrongasyouth?WhatsoblindasinexperieheseaffirmedthatitleasureenoughtohavetheprivilegeofagainlookingonMr.Rochester,whetherhelookedonmeornot;andtheyadded—“Hasten!hastehhimwhileyoumay:butafewmoredaysorweeks,atmost,andyouarepartedfromhimforever!”Arangledanew-bony—adeformedthingwhichIcouldnotpersuademyselftoownandrear—andranon.
Theyaremakinghay,too,inThornfieldmeadows:orrather,thelabourersarejustquittingtheirwork,aurninghomewiththeirrakesontheirshoulders,now,atthehourIarrive.Ihavebutafieldortwototraverse,andthenIshallcrosstheroadahegates.Howfullthehedgesareofroses!ButIhavenotimetogatherany;Iwanttobeatthehouse.Ipassedatallbriar,shootingleafyandflowerybranchesacrossthepath;Iseethenarrowstilewithstoeps;andIsee—Mr.Rochestersittingthere,abookandapenhishand;heiswriting.
Well,heisnotaghost;yeteverynerveIhaveisunstrung:foramomentIambeyondmyownmastery.Whatdoesitmean?IdidnotthinkIshouldtrembleinthiswaywhenIsawhim,orlosemyvoiceorthepowerofmotioninhispresence.IwillgobackassoonasIstir:Imakeanabsolutefoolofmyself.Iknowanotherwaytothehouse.ItdoesnotsignifyifIkwentyways;forhehasseenme.
“Hillo!”hecries;asuphisbookandhispencil.“Thereyouare!eon,ifyouplease.”
IsupposeIdoeon;thoughinwhatfashionIknownot;beingscarcelyisantofmymovements,andsolicitousonlytoappearcalm;and,aboveall,totrolthewmusyface—whichIfeelrebelilyagainstmywill,andstruggletoexpresswhatIhadresolvedtoceal.ButIhaveaveil—itisdown:Imaymakeshiftyettobehavewithdetposure.
“AndthisisJaneEyre?AreyouingfromMillcote,andonfoot?Yes—justoneofyourtriottosendforacarriage,andeclatterireetandroadlikeaortal,buttostealintotheviageofyourhomealongwithtwilight,justasifyouwereadreamorashade.Whatthedeucehaveyoudohyourselfthislastmonth?”
“Ihavebeenwithmyaunt,sir,whoisdead.”
“AtrueJanianreply!Goodangelsbemyguard!Sheesfromtheotherworld—fromtheabodeofpeoplewhoaredead;andtellsmesowhesmealonehereinthegloaming!IfIdared,I’dtouchyou,toseeifyouaresubstanceorshadow,youelf!—butI’dassooakeholdofablueignisfatuuslightinamarsh.Truant!truant!”headded,whenhehadpausedaninstant.“Absentfrommeawholemonth,andfettie,I’llbesworn!”
Ikherewouldbepleasureiingmymasteragaihoughbrokenbythefearthathewassosooobemymaster,andbythekhatIwasnothingtohim:buttherewaseverinMr.Rochester(soatleastIthought)suchawealthofthepowerofunighappihattotastebutofthecrumbshescatteredtostrayandstrangerbirdslikeme,wastofeastgenially.Hislastwordswerebalm:theyseemedtoimplythatitimportedsomethingtohimwhetherIfothimornot.AndhehadspokenofThornfieldasmyhome—wouldthatitweremyhome!
Hedidhestile,andIhardlylikedtoasktogoby.IinquiredsoonifhehadoLondon.
“Yes;Isupposeyoufoundthatoutbysed-sight.”
“Mrs.Fairfaxtoldmeier.”
“AnddidsheinformyouwhatIwenttodo?”
“Oh,yes,sir!Everybodyknewyourerrand.”
“Youmustseethecarriage,Jane,andtellmeifyoudon’tthinkitwillsuitMrs.Rochesterexactly;ahershewon’tlooklikeQueenBoadicea,leaningbackagainstthosepurplecushions.Iwish,Jane,Iwereatriflebetteradaptedtomatchwithherexternally.Tellmenow,fairyasyouare—’tyougivemeacharm,oraphilter,orsomethingofthatsort,tomakemeahandsomeman?”
“Itwouldbepastthepowerofmagic,sir;”and,inthought,Iadded,“Alovingeyeisallthecharmosuchyouarehandsomeenough;orratheryoursternnesshasapowerbeyoy.”
Mr.Rochesterhadsometimesreadmyunspokenthoughtswithanatomeinprehensible:inthepresentinstaooknonotiyabruptvocalrespohesmiledatmewithacertainsmilehehadofhisown,andwhichheusedbutonrareoccasions.Heseemedtothinkittoogoodforonpurposes:itwastherealsunshineoffeeling—hesheditovermenow.
“Pass,Ja,”saidhe,makingroomformetocrossthestile:“gouphome,andstayyourwearylittlewanderiafriend’sthreshold.”
AllIhadnowtodowastoobeyhiminsilenoneedformetocolloquisefurther.Igotoverthestilewithoutaword,aoleavehimcalmly.Animpulseheldmefast—aforceturnedmeround.Isaid—orsomethinginmesaidforme,andinspiteofme—
“Thankyou,Mr.Rochester,foryreatkindness.Iamstrangelygladtogetbackagaintoyou:andwhereveryouareismyhome—myonlyhome.”
Iwalkedonsofastthatevenhecouldhardlyhaveovertakenmehadhetried.LittleAdèlewashalfwildwithdelightwhenshesawme.Mrs.Fairfaxreceivedmewithherusualplainfriendliness.Leahsmiled,andevenSophiebidme“bonsoir”withglee.Thiswasverypleasant;thereisnohappinesslikethatofbeinglovedbyyourfellow-creatures,andfeelingthatyourpresenceisanadditiontotheirfort.
Ithateveningshutmyeyesresolutelyagainstthefuture:Istoppedmycarsagainstthevoicethatkeptwarningmeofnearseparationandinggrief.WhenteawasoverandMrs.Fairfaxhadtakenherknitting,andIhadassumedalowseatnearher,andAdèle,kneelingonthecarpet,hadledcloseuptome,andasenseofmutualaffeseemedtosurrounduswitharingofgoldenpeace,Iutteredasilentprayerthatwemightedfarorsoon;butwhen,aswethussat,Mr.Rochesterentered,unannounced,andlookingatus,seemedtotakepleasureinthespectacleofagroupsoamicable—whenhesaidhesupposedtheoldladywasallrightnowthatshehadgotheradopteddaughterbackagain,andaddedthathesawAdèlereteecroquersapetitemamanAnglaise”—Ihalfveohopethathewould,evenafterhismarriage,keepustogethersomewhereuheshelterofhisprote,andnotquiteexiledfromthesunshineofhispresence.
AfhtofdubiouscalmsucceededmyreturntoThornfieldHall.Nothingwassaidofthemaster’smarriage,andIsawnopreparationgoingonforsuevent.AlmosteverydayIaskedMrs.Fairfaxifshehadyetheardanythingdecided:heranswerwasalwaysintheive.OnceshesaidshehadactuallyputthequestiontoMr.Rochesterastowhenhewasgoingthisbridehome;buthehadansweredheronlybyajokeandoneofhisqueerlooks,andshecouldnottellwhattomakeofhim.
Ohingspeciallysurprisedme,andthatwas,therewerenojourneyingsbackwardandforward,novisitstoIngramPark:tobesureitwastwentymilesoff,onthebordersofanotherty;butwhatwasthatdistaoalover?TosopractisedandiigableahorsemanasMr.Rochester,itwouldbebutam’sride.IbegantocherishhopesIhadnhttoceive:thatthematchwasbrokenoff;thatrumourhadbeenmistaken;thatoneorbothpartieshadgedtheirminds.Iusedtolookatmymaster’sfacetoseeifitweresadorfierce;butIcouldnotrememberthetimewhenithadbeensouniformlyclearofcloudsorevilfeelings.If,inthemomentsIandmypupilspentwithhim,Ilackedspiritsandsankintoiabledeje,hebecameevengay.Neverhadhecalledmemorefrequentlytohispreseneverbeenkiomewhenthere—and,alas!neverhadIlovedhimsowell.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
AtlastIsawGeianaoff;butnowitwasEliza’sturntorequestmetostayanotherweek.Herplansrequiredallhertimeandattention,shesaid;shewasabouttodepartforsomeunknownbourne;andalldayloayedinherownroom,herdoorboltedwithin,fillingtruyingdrawers,burningpapers,andholdingnounicationwithanyone.Shewishedmetolookafterthehouse,toseecallers,andaesofdolence.
OnemshetoldmeIwasatliberty.“And,”sheadded,“Iamobligedtoyouforyourvaluableserviddiscreetduct!ThereissomediffereweenlivingwithsuoneasyouandwithGeiana:youperformyourownpartinlifeandburdeno-morrow,”shetinued,“Isetoutfortheti.IshalltakeupmyabodeinareligioushousenearLisle—anunneryyouwouldcallit;thereIshallbequietandued.IshalldevotemyselfforatimetotheexaminationoftheRomanCatholias,andtoacarefulstudyofthewsoftheirsystem:ifIfindittobe,asIhalfsuspectitis,theocalculatedtoehedoingofallthilyandinorder,IshallembracethetesofRomeandprobablytaketheveil.”
Iherexpressedsurpriseatthisresolutionnorattemptedtodissuadeherfromit.“Thevocationwillfityoutoahair,”Ithought:“muayitdoyou!”
Wheed,shesaid:“Good-bye,cousinJaneEyre;Iwishyouwell:youhavesomesense.”
Itheurned:“Youarenotwithoutsense,cousinEliza;butwhatyouhave,Isuppose,inanotheryearwillbewalledupaliveinaFrenvent.However,itisnotmybusiness,andsoitsuitsyou,Idon’tmuchcare.”
“Youareintheright,”saidshe;andwiththesewordsweeatourseparateway.AsIshallnothaveoccasiontorefereithertoherorhersisteragain,ImayaswellmentiohatGeianamadeanadvantageousmatchwithawealthyworn-outmanoffashion,andthatElizaactuallytooktheveil,andisatthisdaysuperioroftheventwhereshepassedtheperiodofhernovitiate,andwhichsheehherfortune.
Howpeoplefeelwhentheyarereturninghomefromanabsence,longorshort,Ididnotknow:Ihadneverexperiehesensation.IhadknownwhatitwastoebacktoGatesheadwhenachildafteralongwalk,tobescoldedforlookingcloomy;andlater,whatitwastoebachurchtoLowood,tolongforaplenteousmealandagoodfire,andtobeuogeteither.herofthesereturningswasverypleasantordesirable:nomagdrewmetoagivenpoint,increasinginitsstrengthofattrathenearerIcame.ThereturntoThornfieldwasyettobetried.
Myjourneyseemedtedious—verytedious:fiftymilesoneday,anightspentataninn;fiftymilestheday.DuringthefirsttwelvehoursIthoughtofMrs.Reedinherlastmoments;Isawherdisfiguredanddiscolouredfadheardherstrangelyalteredvoice.Imusedonthefuneralday,thecoffin,thehearse,theblacktraisandservants—fewwasthenumberofrelatives—thegapingvault,thesilentchurch,thesolemnservice.ThenIthoughtofElizaandGeiana;Ibeheldoheosureofaball-room,theothertheinmateofaventcell;andIdweltonandanalysedtheirseparatepeculiaritiesofpersonandcharacter.Theeveningarrivalatthegreattownof—scatteredthesethoughts;nightgavethemquiteaurn:laiddownonmytraveller’sbed,Ileftreminisceforanticipation.
IwasgoingbacktoThornfield:buthowlongwasItostaythere?Notlong;ofthatIwassure.IhadheardfromMrs.Fairfaxierimofmyabsehepartyatthehallwasdispersed;Mr.RochesterhadleftforLondonthreeweeksago,buthewastheedtoreturninafht.Mrs.Fairfaxsurmisedthathewasgoomakearrasforhiswedding,ashehadtalkedofpurchasinganewcarriage:shesaidtheideaofhismarryingMissIngramstillseemedstraoher;butfromwhateverybodysaid,andfromwhatshehadherselfseen,shecouldnolongerdoubtthattheeventwouldshortlytakeplace.“Youwouldbestrangelyincredulousifyoudiddoubtit,”wasmymentalent.“Idon’tdoubtit.”
Thequestionfollowed,“WherewasItogo?”IdreamtofMissIngramallthenight:inavividmdreamIsawherclosiesofThornfieldagainstmeandpointianotherroad;andMr.Rochesterlookedonwithhisarmsfolded—smilingsardonically,asitseemed,atbothherandme.
IhadnotnotifiedtoMrs.Fairfaxtheexactdayofmyreturn;forIdidnotwisheithercaretomeetmeatMillcote.Iproposedtowalkthedistancequietlybymyself;andveryquietly,afterleavingmyboxiler’scare,didIslipawayfromtheGeeInn,aboutsixo’clockofaJuneevening,andtaketheoldroadtoThornfield:aroadwhichlaychieflythroughfields,andwasnowlittlefrequented.
Itwasnhtorsplendidsummerevening,thoughfairandsoft:thehaymakerswereatworkallalongtheroad;andthesky,thoughfarfromcloudless,wassuchaspromisedwellforthefuture:itsblue—wherebluewasvisible—wasmildaled,anditscloudstratahighandthi,too,waswarm:nowaterygleamchilledit—itseemedasiftherewasafirelit,analtarburningbehinditssofmarbledvapour,andoutofaperturesshoneagoldenredness.
Ifeltgladastheroadshortenedbeforeme:sogladthatIstoppedooaskmyselfwhatthatjoymeant:andtoremindreasonthatitwasnottomyhomeIwasgoing,ortoapermaresting-place,ortoaplacewherefondfriendslookedoutformeandwaitedmyarrival.“Mrs.Fairfaxwillsmileyouacalmwele,tobesure,”saidI;“andlittleAdèlewillclapherhandsandjumptoseeyou:butyouknowverywellyouarethinkingofahanthey,andthatheisnotthinkingofyou.”
Butwhatissoheadstrongasyouth?WhatsoblindasinexperieheseaffirmedthatitleasureenoughtohavetheprivilegeofagainlookingonMr.Rochester,whetherhelookedonmeornot;andtheyadded—“Hasten!hastehhimwhileyoumay:butafewmoredaysorweeks,atmost,andyouarepartedfromhimforever!”Arangledanew-bony—adeformedthingwhichIcouldnotpersuademyselftoownandrear—andranon.
Theyaremakinghay,too,inThornfieldmeadows:orrather,thelabourersarejustquittingtheirwork,aurninghomewiththeirrakesontheirshoulders,now,atthehourIarrive.Ihavebutafieldortwototraverse,andthenIshallcrosstheroadahegates.Howfullthehedgesareofroses!ButIhavenotimetogatherany;Iwanttobeatthehouse.Ipassedatallbriar,shootingleafyandflowerybranchesacrossthepath;Iseethenarrowstilewithstoeps;andIsee—Mr.Rochestersittingthere,abookandapenhishand;heiswriting.
Well,heisnotaghost;yeteverynerveIhaveisunstrung:foramomentIambeyondmyownmastery.Whatdoesitmean?IdidnotthinkIshouldtrembleinthiswaywhenIsawhim,orlosemyvoiceorthepowerofmotioninhispresence.IwillgobackassoonasIstir:Imakeanabsolutefoolofmyself.Iknowanotherwaytothehouse.ItdoesnotsignifyifIkwentyways;forhehasseenme.
“Hillo!”hecries;asuphisbookandhispencil.“Thereyouare!eon,ifyouplease.”
IsupposeIdoeon;thoughinwhatfashionIknownot;beingscarcelyisantofmymovements,andsolicitousonlytoappearcalm;and,aboveall,totrolthewmusyface—whichIfeelrebelilyagainstmywill,andstruggletoexpresswhatIhadresolvedtoceal.ButIhaveaveil—itisdown:Imaymakeshiftyettobehavewithdetposure.
“AndthisisJaneEyre?AreyouingfromMillcote,andonfoot?Yes—justoneofyourtriottosendforacarriage,andeclatterireetandroadlikeaortal,buttostealintotheviageofyourhomealongwithtwilight,justasifyouwereadreamorashade.Whatthedeucehaveyoudohyourselfthislastmonth?”
“Ihavebeenwithmyaunt,sir,whoisdead.”
“AtrueJanianreply!Goodangelsbemyguard!Sheesfromtheotherworld—fromtheabodeofpeoplewhoaredead;andtellsmesowhesmealonehereinthegloaming!IfIdared,I’dtouchyou,toseeifyouaresubstanceorshadow,youelf!—butI’dassooakeholdofablueignisfatuuslightinamarsh.Truant!truant!”headded,whenhehadpausedaninstant.“Absentfrommeawholemonth,andfettie,I’llbesworn!”
Ikherewouldbepleasureiingmymasteragaihoughbrokenbythefearthathewassosooobemymaster,andbythekhatIwasnothingtohim:buttherewaseverinMr.Rochester(soatleastIthought)suchawealthofthepowerofunighappihattotastebutofthecrumbshescatteredtostrayandstrangerbirdslikeme,wastofeastgenially.Hislastwordswerebalm:theyseemedtoimplythatitimportedsomethingtohimwhetherIfothimornot.AndhehadspokenofThornfieldasmyhome—wouldthatitweremyhome!
Hedidhestile,andIhardlylikedtoasktogoby.IinquiredsoonifhehadoLondon.
“Yes;Isupposeyoufoundthatoutbysed-sight.”
“Mrs.Fairfaxtoldmeier.”
“AnddidsheinformyouwhatIwenttodo?”
“Oh,yes,sir!Everybodyknewyourerrand.”
“Youmustseethecarriage,Jane,andtellmeifyoudon’tthinkitwillsuitMrs.Rochesterexactly;ahershewon’tlooklikeQueenBoadicea,leaningbackagainstthosepurplecushions.Iwish,Jane,Iwereatriflebetteradaptedtomatchwithherexternally.Tellmenow,fairyasyouare—’tyougivemeacharm,oraphilter,orsomethingofthatsort,tomakemeahandsomeman?”
“Itwouldbepastthepowerofmagic,sir;”and,inthought,Iadded,“Alovingeyeisallthecharmosuchyouarehandsomeenough;orratheryoursternnesshasapowerbeyoy.”
Mr.Rochesterhadsometimesreadmyunspokenthoughtswithanatomeinprehensible:inthepresentinstaooknonotiyabruptvocalrespohesmiledatmewithacertainsmilehehadofhisown,andwhichheusedbutonrareoccasions.Heseemedtothinkittoogoodforonpurposes:itwastherealsunshineoffeeling—hesheditovermenow.
“Pass,Ja,”saidhe,makingroomformetocrossthestile:“gouphome,andstayyourwearylittlewanderiafriend’sthreshold.”
AllIhadnowtodowastoobeyhiminsilenoneedformetocolloquisefurther.Igotoverthestilewithoutaword,aoleavehimcalmly.Animpulseheldmefast—aforceturnedmeround.Isaid—orsomethinginmesaidforme,andinspiteofme—
“Thankyou,Mr.Rochester,foryreatkindness.Iamstrangelygladtogetbackagaintoyou:andwhereveryouareismyhome—myonlyhome.”
Iwalkedonsofastthatevenhecouldhardlyhaveovertakenmehadhetried.LittleAdèlewashalfwildwithdelightwhenshesawme.Mrs.Fairfaxreceivedmewithherusualplainfriendliness.Leahsmiled,andevenSophiebidme“bonsoir”withglee.Thiswasverypleasant;thereisnohappinesslikethatofbeinglovedbyyourfellow-creatures,andfeelingthatyourpresenceisanadditiontotheirfort.
Ithateveningshutmyeyesresolutelyagainstthefuture:Istoppedmycarsagainstthevoicethatkeptwarningmeofnearseparationandinggrief.WhenteawasoverandMrs.Fairfaxhadtakenherknitting,andIhadassumedalowseatnearher,andAdèle,kneelingonthecarpet,hadledcloseuptome,andasenseofmutualaffeseemedtosurrounduswitharingofgoldenpeace,Iutteredasilentprayerthatwemightedfarorsoon;butwhen,aswethussat,Mr.Rochesterentered,unannounced,andlookingatus,seemedtotakepleasureinthespectacleofagroupsoamicable—whenhesaidhesupposedtheoldladywasallrightnowthatshehadgotheradopteddaughterbackagain,andaddedthathesawAdèlereteecroquersapetitemamanAnglaise”—Ihalfveohopethathewould,evenafterhismarriage,keepustogethersomewhereuheshelterofhisprote,andnotquiteexiledfromthesunshineofhispresence.
AfhtofdubiouscalmsucceededmyreturntoThornfieldHall.Nothingwassaidofthemaster’smarriage,andIsawnopreparationgoingonforsuevent.AlmosteverydayIaskedMrs.Fairfaxifshehadyetheardanythingdecided:heranswerwasalwaysintheive.OnceshesaidshehadactuallyputthequestiontoMr.Rochesterastowhenhewasgoingthisbridehome;buthehadansweredheronlybyajokeandoneofhisqueerlooks,andshecouldnottellwhattomakeofhim.
Ohingspeciallysurprisedme,andthatwas,therewerenojourneyingsbackwardandforward,novisitstoIngramPark:tobesureitwastwentymilesoff,onthebordersofanotherty;butwhatwasthatdistaoalover?TosopractisedandiigableahorsemanasMr.Rochester,itwouldbebutam’sride.IbegantocherishhopesIhadnhttoceive:thatthematchwasbrokenoff;thatrumourhadbeenmistaken;thatoneorbothpartieshadgedtheirminds.Iusedtolookatmymaster’sfacetoseeifitweresadorfierce;butIcouldnotrememberthetimewhenithadbeensouniformlyclearofcloudsorevilfeelings.If,inthemomentsIandmypupilspentwithhim,Ilackedspiritsandsankintoiabledeje,hebecameevengay.Neverhadhecalledmemorefrequentlytohispreseneverbeenkiomewhenthere—and,alas!neverhadIlovedhimsowell.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
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并不代表本站立场!本站亦无法严格审:Jane Eyre最新章节其版权归属。如您对Jane EyreTXT下载持有版权方面的异议，请联系本站客服。我们将于72小时内处理。
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