Rules of the Game-1
WaverlyJong
Iwassixwhenmymhtmetheartofinvisiblestrength.Itwasastrategyforwinningarguments,respeothers,aually,thoughherofuskatthetime,chessgames.
"Bitebackyue,"scoldedmymotherwhenIcriedloudly,yankingherhandtowardthestorethatsoldbagsofsaltedplums.Athome,shesaid,"Wiseguy,henotgoagainstwind.Inesewesay,efromSouth,bloind—poom!—Northwillfollow.Strowindotbeseen."
TheweekIbitbackmytongueasweehestorewiththeforbiddendies.Whenmymotherfinishedhershopping,shequietlypluckedasmallbagofplumsfromtheradputitontheterwiththerestoftheitems.
Mymotherimpartedherdailytruthssoshecouldhelpmyolderbrothersandmeriseaboveourcircumstances.WelivedinSanFranciscosatown.Likemostoftheotheresechildrenwhoplayedinthebackalleysofrestaurantsandcurioshops,Ididntthinkwewerepoor.Mybowlwasalwaysfull,threefive-coursemealseveryday,beginningfullofmysteriousthingsIdidntwanttoknowthenamesof.
WelivedonWaverlyPlaawarm,,two-bedroomflatthatsataboveasmallesebakeryspecializinginsteamedpastriesanddimsum.Intheearlym,whenthealleywasstillquiet,Icouldsmellfragrantredbeansastheywerecookeddoastysweetness.Bydaybreak,ourflatwasheavywiththeodoroffriedsesameballsacurriedchicrests.Frommybed,Iwouldlistenasmyfathergotreadyforwork,thenlockedthedoorbehindhim,owo-threeclicks.
Attheendofourtwo-blockalleywasasmallsandlotplaygroundwithswingsandslideswell-shineddownthemiddlewithuse.Theplayareawasborderedbywood-slatbencheswhereold-trypeoplesatcragroastedwatermelonseedswiththeirgoldehandscatteringthehuskstoanimpatientgatheringlingpigeons.Thebestplayground,however,wasthedarkalleyitself.Itwascrammedwithdailymysteriesandadventures.MybrothersandIwouldpeerintothemedialherbshop,watgoldLidoleoutontoastiffsheetofwhitepapertherightamountofishells,saffron-coloredseeds,andpuleavesforhisailingers.ItwassaidthatheoncecuredawomandyingofaralcursethathadeludedthebestofAmeridoctors.othepharmacyrinterwhospecializedingold-embossedweddinginvitationsaiveredbanners.
FartherdowreetingYuenFishMarket.Thefrontwindowdisplayedatankcrowdedwithdoomedfishandturtlesstrugglingtogainfootingontheslimygreen-tiledsides.Ahand-writtensigninformedtourists,"Withinthisstore,isallforfood,notforpet."Ihebutcherswiththeirblood-stainedwhitesmocksdeftlyguttedthefishwhileerscriedouttheirordersandshouted,"Givemeyourfreshest,"Onlesscrowdedmarketdays,wewouldihecratesoflivefrogsandcrabswhichartopoke,boxesofdriedcuttlefish,androwuponrowoficedprawns,squid,andslipperyfish.Thesanddabsmademeshivereachtime;theireyeslayotenedsideandremindedmeofmymothersstoryofacarelessgirlwhoranintoacrowdedstreetandwascrushedbyacab."Wassmashflat,"reportedmymother.
AttheerofthealleywasHongSings,afour-tablecaf?witharecessedstairwellinfrontthatledtoadoormarked"Tradesmen."MybrothersandIbelievedthebadpeopleemergedfromthisdooratnight.TouristsneverwenttoHongSings,sihemenurintedonlyinese.ACaucasianmanwithabigcameraoneandmyplaymatesinfrontoftherestaurant.Hehadusmovetothesideofthepicturewindowsothephotowouldcapturetheroastedduckwithitsheaddanglingfromajuice-coveredrope.Afterhetookthepicture,ItoldhimheshouldgointoHongSingsadinner.Whenhesmiledandaskedmewhattheyserved,Ishouted,"Gutsandducksfeetandoctopusgizzards!"ThenIranoffwithmyfriends,shriekingwithlaughteraseredacrossthealleyandhidirywaygrottooftheaGempany,myheartpoundingwithhopethathewouldchaseus.
Mymothernamedmeafterthestreetthatwelivedon:WaverlyPlayoffiameforimportantAmerients.ButmyfamilycalledmeMeimei,"LittleSister."Iwastheyouheonlydaughter.Eachmbeforesymotherwouldtwistandyankonmythickblackhairuntilshehadformedtwotightlywoundpigtails.Oneday,asshestruggledtoweaveahard-toothedbthroughmydisobedienthair,Ihadaslythought.
Iaskedher,"Ma,whatisesetorture?"Mymothershookherhead.Abobbypinwaswedgedbetweenherlips.Shewettedherpalmandsmoothedthehairabovemyear,thenpushedthepininsothatitnickedsharplyagainstmyscalp.
"Whosaythisword?"sheaskedwithoutatraceofknowinghowwickedIwasbeing.Ishruggedmyshouldersandsaid,"Someboyinmyclasssaidesepeopledoesetorture."
"esepeopledomanythings,"shesaidsimply."esepeopledobusiness,domedie,dopainting.NotlazylikeAmeripeople.Wedotorture.Besttorture."
MyolderbrotherViwastheonewhoactuallygotthechessset.WehadgoheannualChristmaspartyheldattheFirsteseBaptistChurchattheendofthealley.ThemissionaryladieshadputtogetheraSantabagofgiftsdonatedbymembersofanotherchurohegiftshadhem.Therewereseparatesacksforboysandgirlsofdifferentages.
OheeseparishionershaddonnedaSantaClauseandastiffpaperbeardwithcottonballsgluedtoit.IthinktheonlychildrenwhothoughthewastherealthiooyoungtoknowthatSantaClauswasnotese.WhenmyturheSantamanaskedmehowoldIwas.Ithoughtitwasatrickquestion;IwassevenacctotheAmeriulaabytheesedar.IsaidIwasbornonMarch17,1951.Thatseemedtosatisfyhim.HethensolemnlyaskedifIhadbeenavery,verygoodgirlthisyearanddidIbelieveinJesusChristandobeymyparents.Ikheonlyahat.Inoddedbackwithequalsolemnity.
Havingwatchedtheotherchildrenopeningtheirgifts,Ialreadykhatthebiggiftswerenotnecessarilytheones.Onegirlmyagegotalargecbookofbiblicalcharacters,whilealessgreedygirlwhoselectedasmallerboxreceivedaglassvialoflaveoiletwater.Thesoundoftheboxwasalsoimportant.Aten-year-oldboyhadchosenaboxthatjangledwhenheshookit.Itwasatinglobeoftheworldwithaslitforiingmoney.Hemusthavethoughtitwasfullofdimesandnickels,becausewhehatithadjusttenpennies,hisfacefellwithsudisguiseddisappoihathismotherslappedthesideofhisheadandledhimoutofthechurchhall,apologizingtothecrowdforhersonwhohadsuchbadmannershecouldntappreciatesuchafi.
AsIpeeredintothesack,Iquicklyfiheremainis,testingtheirweight,imaginingwhattheytained.Ichoseaheavy,paethatwasedinshinysilverfoilainribbon.Itwasatwelve-packofLifeSaversandIspeofthepartyarrangingandrearrangingthedytubesintheorderofmyfavorites.MybrotherWinstonchosewiselyaswell.Hispresentturtobeaboxofintricateplasticparts;theinstrusontheboxproclaimedthatwhentheywereproperlyassembledhewouldhaveanauthentiiaturereplicaofaWorldWarIIsubmarine.
Vigotthechessset,whichwouldhavebeenaverydetpresenttogetatachurchChristmasparty,exceptitwasobviouslyusedand,aswediscoveredlater,itwasmissingablackpawnandawhiteknight.Mymraciouslythaheunknowor,saying,"Toogood.Costtoomuch."Atwhichpoint,anoldladywithfie,wispyhairowardourfamilyandsaidwithawhistlingwhisper,"Merry,merryChristmas."
Whehome,mymothertoldViothrowthechesssetaway."Shenotwantit.Wenotwantit,"shesaid,tossingherheadstifflytothesidewithatight,proudsmile.Mybrothershaddeafears.Theywerealreadyliningupthechesspiedreadingfromthedog-earedinstrubook.
IwatchedViandWinstonplayduringChristmasweek.ThechessboardseemedtoholdelaboratesecretswaitingtobeuntahechessmenweremorepowerfulthanOldLismagicherbsthatcuredaralcurses.AndmybrothersworesuchseriousfacesthatIwassuresomethingwasatstakethatwasgreaterthanavoidiradesmensdoortoHongSings.
"Letme!Letme!"Ibeggedbetweengameswheherortheotherwouldsitbacksighofreliefandvictory,theotherannoyed,uoletgooftheoute.Vifirstrefusedtoletmeplay,butwhenIofferedmyLifeSaversasreplatsforthebuttonsthatfilledinforthemissingpieces,herelented.Hechosetheflavors:wildcherryfortheblackpaeppermintforthewhiteknight.Winnercouldeatboth.
Asourmothersprinkledflourandrolledoutsmalldoughycirclesforthesteameddumplingsthatwouldbeourdihatnight,Viexplaiherules,pointingtoeachpiece."YouhavesixteenpiedsodoI.Onekingawobishops,twoknights,twocastles,apawns.Thepawnsoveforwardoep,exceptonthefirstmove.Thentheymovetwo.Buttheylytakemenbymovingcrosswayslikethis,exceptinthebeginning,whenyoumoveaheadandtakeanotherpawn."
"Why?"IaskedasImovedmypawn."Whyttheymovemoresteps?"
"Becausetheyrepawns,"hesaid.
"Butwhydotheygocrosswaystotakeothermen.Whyarentthereanywomenandchildren?"
"Whyistheskyblue?Whymustyoualwaysaskstupidquestions?"askedVi."Thisisagame.Thesearetherules.Ididntmakethemup.See.Here.Inthebook."Hejabbedapageawninhishand."Pawn.P-A-W-N.Pawyourself."
Mymotherpattedtheflouroffherhands."Letmeseebook,"shesaidquietly.Shesedthepagesquickly,notreadingthefnEnglishsymbols,seemingtosearchdeliberatelyfornothinginparticular.
"ThisAmerirules,"shecludedatlast."Everytimepeopleeoutfrntry,mustknowrules.Younotknow,judgesay,Toobad,goback.Theynottellingyouwhysoyouusetheirwaygoforward.Theysay,Dontknowwhy,youfindoutyourself.Buttheyknowingallthetime.Betteryoutakeit,findoutwhyyourself."Shetossedherheadbackwithasatisfiedsmile.
Ifoundoutaboutallthewhyslater.Ireadtherulesandlookedupallthebigwordsinadiary.Iborrowedbooksfromtheatownlibrary.Istudiedeachchesspiece,tryingtoabsorbthepowereatained.
Ilearnedaboutopeningmovesandwhyitsimportanttotroltheterearlyon;theshortestdistaweentwopointsisstraightdownthemiddle.Ilearnedaboutthemiddlegameandwhytacticsbetweentwoadversariesarelikeclashiheonewhoplaysbetterhastheclearestplansforbothattagaingoutoftraps.Ilearnedwhyitisessentialintheendgametohavefht,amathematiderstandingofallpossiblemoves,andpatience;allweaknessesandadvantagesbeeevidenttadversaryandareobscuredtoppo.Idiscoveredthatforthewholegameogatherinvisiblestrengthsaheendgamebeforethegamebegins.
IalsofoundoutwhyIshouldneverreveal"why"toothers.Alittleknowledgewithheldisagreatadvantageoneshouldstoreforfutureuse.Thatisthepowerofchess.Itisagameofsecretsinwhiustshowaell.
IlovedthesecretsIfoundwithiy-fourbladwhitesquares.Icarefullydrewahandmadechessboardandpiothewallomybed,whereatnightIwouldstareforhoursatimaginarybattles.SoonInolongerlostanygamesorLifeSavers,butIlostmyadversaries.WinstonandVidecidedtheyweremoreiedinroamireetsafterschoolintheirHopalongCassidycowboyhats.
Onacoldspringafternoon,whilewalkinghomefromschool,Idetouredthroughtheplaygroundattheendofouralley.Isawagroupofoldmen,twoseatedacrossafoldingtableplayingagameofchess,otherssmokingpipes,eatis,andwatg.IranhomeandgrabbedVischessset,whichwasboundinacardboardboxwithrubberbands.IalsocarefullyselectedtwoprizedrollsofLifeSavers.Icamebacktotheparkandapproachedamanwhowasthegame.
"Wanttoplay?"Iaskedhim.Hisfacewidehsurpriseandhegrinnedashelookedattheboxundermyarm.
"Littlesister,beenalongtimesinceIplaywithdolls,"hesaid,smilingbenevolently.Iquicklyputtheboxdowohimonthebenddisplayedmyretort.
LauPo,asheallowedmetocallhim,turtobeamuchbetterplayerthanmybrothers.IlostmanygamesandmanyLifeSavers.Butovertheweeks,witheachdiminishingrollofdies,Iaddeds.LauPogavemetheheDoubleAttatheEastaShores.ThrowingStoheDrowningMan.TheSuddeingofthe.TheSurprisefromtheSleepingGuard.TheHumbleServantWhoKillstheKing.SandintheEyesofAdvangForces.ADoubleKillingWithoutBlood.
Therewerealsothefinepointsofchessetiquette.Keepcapturedmerows,aswell-tendedprisoners.Neverannounce"Check"withvanity,lestsomeohanunseenswordslityourthroat.Neverhurlpietothesandboxafteryouhavelostagame,becausethenyoumustfindthemagain,byyourself,afterapologizingtoallaroundyou.Bytheendofthesummer,LauPohadtaughtmeallheknew,andIhadbeeabetterchessplayer.
AsmallweekendcrowdofesepeopleandtouristswouldgatherasIplayedaedmyopposonebyone.Mymotherwouldjointhecrowdsduringtheseoutdoorexhibitiongames.Shesatproudlyonthebench,tellingmyadmirerswithproperesehumility,"Isluck."
Amanwhowatchedmeplayintheparksuggestedthatmymotherallowmetoplayinlocalchesstours.Mymothersmiledgraciously,anahatmeantnothing.Idesperatelywaogo,butIbitbackmytongue.Iknewshewouldmeplayamongstrangers.SoaswewalkedhomeIsaidinasmallvoicethatIdidntwanttoplayinthelocaltourheywouldhaveAmerirules.IfIlost,Iwouldbringshameonmyfamily.
"Isshameyoufalldownnobodypushyou,"saidmymother.
Duringmyfirsttour,mymothersatwithmeinthefrontrowasIwaitedformyturn.Ifrequentlybouncedmylegstounstickthemfromtheetalseatofthefoldingchair.Whenmynamewascalled,Ileaptup.Mymotherunedsomethinginherlap.Itwasherg,asmalltabletofredjadewhichheldthesunsfire."Isluck,"shewhispered,andtuckeditintomydresspocket.Ituromyoppo,afifteen-year-oldboyfromOakland.Helookedatme,wrinklinghisnose.
AsIbegantoplay,theboydisappeared,thecolorranoutoftheroom,andIsawonlymywhitepiedhisblaeswaitingoherside.Alightwindbeganblowingpastmyears.ItwhisperedsecretsonlyIcouldhear.
"BlowfromtheSouth,"itmurmured."Thewindleavesnotrail."Isawaclearpath,thetrapstoavoid.Thecrowdrustled."Shhh!Shhh!"saidtheersoftheroom.Thewironger."ThrowsandfromtheEasttodistracthim."Theknightcameforwardreadyforthesacrifice.Thewindhissed,louderandlouder."Blow,blow,blow.Heotsee.Heisblindnow.Makehimleanawayfromthewindsoheiseasiertoknockdown."
"Check,"Isaid,asthewindroaredwithlaughter.Thewinddieddowntolittlepuffs,myowh.
MymotherplacedmyfirsttrophyoanewplasticchesssetthattheneighborhoodTaosocietyhadgiventome.Asshewipedeachpiecewithasoftcloth,shesaid,"imewinmore,loseless."
"Ma,itsnothoiecesyoulose,"Isaid."Sometimesyouolosepiecestogetahead."
"Bettertoloseless,seeifyoureallyneed."
Attheour,Iwonagain,butitwasmymotherwhoworethetriumphantgrin.
"Losteightpiecethistime.Lasttimewaseleven.WhatItellyou?Betteroffloseless!"Iwasannoyed,butIcouldntsayanything.
Iattendedmoretours,eaefartherawayfromhome.Iwonallgames,inalldivisions.Theesebakerydownstairsfromourflatdisplayedmygrowingcolleoftrophiesinitswindow,amidstthedust-coveredcakesthatwereneverpickedup.ThedayafterIortantregionaltourhewindowencasedafreshsheetcakewithwhipped-creamfrostingandredscriptsaying,"gratulations,WaverlyJong,atownChessChampion."Soohat,aflowershop,headstoneengraver,andfuneralparlorofferedtosponsormeinnationaltours.ThatswhenmymotherdecidedInolongerhadtodothedishes.WinstonandVihadtodomychores.
"Whydoesshegettoplayandwedoallthework,"plainedVi.
"IsnewAmerirules,"saidmymother."Meimeiplay,squeezeallherbrainsoutforwinchess.Youplay,worthsqueezetowel."
Bymyninthbirthday,Iwasanationalchesschampion.Iwasstillsome429pointsawayfromgrand-masterstatus,butIwastoutedastheGreatAmeriHope,achildprodigyandagirltoboot.TheyranaphotoofmeinLifemagazioaquoteinwhichBobbyFischersaid,"Therewillneverbeawomangrandmaster.""Yourmove,Bobby,"saidthecaption.
ThedaytheytookthemagaziureIworelyplaitedbraidsclippedwithplasticbarrettestrimmedwithrhiones.Ilayinginalargehighschoolauditoriumthatechoedwithphlegmycoughsandthesqueakyrubberknobsofchairlegsslidingacrossfreshlywaxedwoodenfloors.SeatedacrossfrommewasanAmeriman,aboutthesameageasLauPo,maybefifty.Irememberthathissweatybrowseemedtoweepatmyeverymove.Heworeadark,malodoroussuit.Oneofhispocketswasstuffedwithagreatwhitekerchiefonwhichhewipedhispalmbeforesweepinghishahechosenchesspiecewithgreatflourish.
Inmycrisppink-and-whitedresswithscratchylaceattheneeoftwomymotherhadsewnforthesespecialoccasions,Iwouldclaspmyhandsundermy,thedelicatepointsofmyelbowspoisedlightlyoableinthemannermymotherhadshownmeforposingforthepress.Iwouldswingmypatehershoesbadforthlikeanimpatientchildridingonaschoolbus.ThenIwouldpause,sumylips,twirlmychosenpiemidairasifundecided,andthenfirmlyplantitinitshreateningplace,withatriumphantsmilethrownbackatmyoppofoodmeasure.
InolongerplayedinthealleyofWaverlyPlaevervisitedtheplaygrouhepigeonsandoldmengathered.Iwenttoschool,thelyhometolearnnewchesssecrets,cleverlycealedadvantages,moreescaperoutes.
ButIfounditdifficulttotrateathome.MymotherhadahabitofstandingovermewhileIplottedoutmygames.Ithihoughtofherselfasmyprotectiveally.Herlipswouldbesealedtight,andaftereaade,asoft"Hmmmmph"wouldescapefromhernose.
"Ma,Itpracticewhenyoustandtherelikethat,"Isaidoneday.Sheretreatedtothekitandmadeloudhthepotsandpans.Whenthecrashingstopped,Icouldseeoutoftheerofmyeyethatshewasstandinginthedoorway."Hmmmph!"Onlythisonecameouthtthroat.
MyparentsmademanycessionstoallowmetopractietimeIplaihatthebedroomIsharedwassonoisythatIcouldntthink.Thereafter,mybrotherssleptihelivingroomfagthestreet.IsaidIcouldntfinishmyrice;myheaddidntwhtwhenmystomachwastoofull.Ileftthetablewithhalf-finishedbowlsandnobodyplained.ButtherewasoyIcouldntavoid.IhadtoapanymymotheronSaturdaymarketdayswhenIhadnotouroplay.Mymotherwouldproudlywalkwithme,visitingmanyshops,buyingverylittle."ThismydaughterWave-lyJong,"shesaidtowhoeverlookedherway.
Oneday,afterweleftashopIsaidundermybreath,"Iwishyouwouldntdothat,tellingeverybodyImyhter."Mymotherstoppedwalking.Crowdsofpeoplewithheavybagspushedpastusonthesidewalk,bumpingintofirstoneshoulder,thenanother.
"Aiii-ya.Soshamebewithmother?"Shegraspedmyhaighterassheglaredatme.
Ilookeddown."Itsnotthat,itsjustsoobvious.Itsjustsoembarrassing."
"Embarrassyoubemydaughter?"Hervoicewascragwithanger.
"ThatsnotwhatImeant.ThatsnotwhatIsaid."
"Whatyousay?"
Ikwasamistaketosayanythingmore,butIheardmyvoicespeaking."Whydoyouhavetousemetoshowoff?Ifyouwanttoshowoff,thenwhydontyoulearntoplaychess."
Mymotherseyesturodangerousblackslits.Shehadnowordsforme,justsharpsilence.
Ifeltthewindrushingaroundmyhotears.Ijerkedmyhandoutofmymhtgraspandspunaround,knogintoanoldwoman.Herbagofgroceriesspilledtotheground.
"Aii-ya!Stupidgirl!"mymotherandthewomancried.esandtinscareeneddownthesidewalk.Asmymotherstoopedtohelptheoldickuptheesgfood,Itookoff.
Iraceddowreet,dashiweenpeople,notlookingbackasmymotherscreamedshrilly,"Meimei!Meimei!"Ifleddownanalley,pastdarkcurtainedshopsandmertswashingthegrimeofftheirwindows.Ispedintothesunlight,intestreetcrowdedwithtouristsexaminingtrisandsouvenirs.Iduckedintoanotherdarkalley,downareet,upanotheralley.IranuntilithurtandIrealizedIhadogo,thatIwasnotrunningfromanything.Thealleystainednoescaperoutes.
Mybreathcameoutlikeangrysmoke.Itwascold.Isatdoturnedplasticpailoastaptyboxes,cuppingmywithmyhands,thinkinghard.Iimaginedmymother,firstwalkingbrisklydowreetoranotherlookingforme,thengivingupaurninghometoawaitmyarrival.Aftertwohours,Istooduponcreakinglegsandslowlywalkedhome.
ThealleywasquietandIcouldseetheyellowlightsshiningfromourflatliketwotigerseyesinthenight.Iclimbedthesixteeothedoor,advangquietlyupeachsoasnottomakeanywarningsounds.Iturheknob;thedoorwaslocked.Iheardachairmoving,quicksteps,thelocksturning—click!click!click!—ahedooropened.
"Abouttimeyougothome,"saidVi."Boy,areyouintrouble."
Heslidbacktothediable.Onaplatterweretheremainsofalargefish,itsfleshyheadstillectedtobonesswimmingupstreaminvainescape.Standingtherewaitingformypunishment,Iheardmymotherspeakinadryvoice.
"Wenotingthisgirl.Thisgirlnothaveingforus."
Nobodylookedatme.Bonechopstickskedagainsttheinsidesofbowlsbeiiedintohungrymouths.
Iwalkedintomyroom,closedthedoor,andlaydownoheroomwasdark,theceilingfilledwithshadowsfromthediimelightsofneighbflats.
Inmyhead,Isawachessboardwithsixty-fourbladwhitesquares.Oppositemewasmyoppowoangryblackslits.Sheworeatriumphantsmile."Strowindotbeseen,"shesaid.
Herblaadvancedacrosstheplane,slowlymargtoeachsuccessivelevelasasi.Mywhitepiecesscreamedastheyscurriedandfellofftheboardonebyone.Ashermendrewclosertomyedge,Ifeltmyselfgrowinglight.Iroseupintotheairathewindow.Higherandhigher,abovethealley,overthetopsoftiledroofs,whereIwasgatheredupbytheusheduptowardthenightskyuntileverythingbelowmedisappearedandIwasalone.
Iyeyesandponderedmymove.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
Iwassixwhenmymhtmetheartofinvisiblestrength.Itwasastrategyforwinningarguments,respeothers,aually,thoughherofuskatthetime,chessgames.
"Bitebackyue,"scoldedmymotherwhenIcriedloudly,yankingherhandtowardthestorethatsoldbagsofsaltedplums.Athome,shesaid,"Wiseguy,henotgoagainstwind.Inesewesay,efromSouth,bloind—poom!—Northwillfollow.Strowindotbeseen."
TheweekIbitbackmytongueasweehestorewiththeforbiddendies.Whenmymotherfinishedhershopping,shequietlypluckedasmallbagofplumsfromtheradputitontheterwiththerestoftheitems.
Mymotherimpartedherdailytruthssoshecouldhelpmyolderbrothersandmeriseaboveourcircumstances.WelivedinSanFranciscosatown.Likemostoftheotheresechildrenwhoplayedinthebackalleysofrestaurantsandcurioshops,Ididntthinkwewerepoor.Mybowlwasalwaysfull,threefive-coursemealseveryday,beginningfullofmysteriousthingsIdidntwanttoknowthenamesof.
WelivedonWaverlyPlaawarm,,two-bedroomflatthatsataboveasmallesebakeryspecializinginsteamedpastriesanddimsum.Intheearlym,whenthealleywasstillquiet,Icouldsmellfragrantredbeansastheywerecookeddoastysweetness.Bydaybreak,ourflatwasheavywiththeodoroffriedsesameballsacurriedchicrests.Frommybed,Iwouldlistenasmyfathergotreadyforwork,thenlockedthedoorbehindhim,owo-threeclicks.
Attheendofourtwo-blockalleywasasmallsandlotplaygroundwithswingsandslideswell-shineddownthemiddlewithuse.Theplayareawasborderedbywood-slatbencheswhereold-trypeoplesatcragroastedwatermelonseedswiththeirgoldehandscatteringthehuskstoanimpatientgatheringlingpigeons.Thebestplayground,however,wasthedarkalleyitself.Itwascrammedwithdailymysteriesandadventures.MybrothersandIwouldpeerintothemedialherbshop,watgoldLidoleoutontoastiffsheetofwhitepapertherightamountofishells,saffron-coloredseeds,andpuleavesforhisailingers.ItwassaidthatheoncecuredawomandyingofaralcursethathadeludedthebestofAmeridoctors.othepharmacyrinterwhospecializedingold-embossedweddinginvitationsaiveredbanners.
FartherdowreetingYuenFishMarket.Thefrontwindowdisplayedatankcrowdedwithdoomedfishandturtlesstrugglingtogainfootingontheslimygreen-tiledsides.Ahand-writtensigninformedtourists,"Withinthisstore,isallforfood,notforpet."Ihebutcherswiththeirblood-stainedwhitesmocksdeftlyguttedthefishwhileerscriedouttheirordersandshouted,"Givemeyourfreshest,"Onlesscrowdedmarketdays,wewouldihecratesoflivefrogsandcrabswhichartopoke,boxesofdriedcuttlefish,androwuponrowoficedprawns,squid,andslipperyfish.Thesanddabsmademeshivereachtime;theireyeslayotenedsideandremindedmeofmymothersstoryofacarelessgirlwhoranintoacrowdedstreetandwascrushedbyacab."Wassmashflat,"reportedmymother.
AttheerofthealleywasHongSings,afour-tablecaf?witharecessedstairwellinfrontthatledtoadoormarked"Tradesmen."MybrothersandIbelievedthebadpeopleemergedfromthisdooratnight.TouristsneverwenttoHongSings,sihemenurintedonlyinese.ACaucasianmanwithabigcameraoneandmyplaymatesinfrontoftherestaurant.Hehadusmovetothesideofthepicturewindowsothephotowouldcapturetheroastedduckwithitsheaddanglingfromajuice-coveredrope.Afterhetookthepicture,ItoldhimheshouldgointoHongSingsadinner.Whenhesmiledandaskedmewhattheyserved,Ishouted,"Gutsandducksfeetandoctopusgizzards!"ThenIranoffwithmyfriends,shriekingwithlaughteraseredacrossthealleyandhidirywaygrottooftheaGempany,myheartpoundingwithhopethathewouldchaseus.
Mymothernamedmeafterthestreetthatwelivedon:WaverlyPlayoffiameforimportantAmerients.ButmyfamilycalledmeMeimei,"LittleSister."Iwastheyouheonlydaughter.Eachmbeforesymotherwouldtwistandyankonmythickblackhairuntilshehadformedtwotightlywoundpigtails.Oneday,asshestruggledtoweaveahard-toothedbthroughmydisobedienthair,Ihadaslythought.
Iaskedher,"Ma,whatisesetorture?"Mymothershookherhead.Abobbypinwaswedgedbetweenherlips.Shewettedherpalmandsmoothedthehairabovemyear,thenpushedthepininsothatitnickedsharplyagainstmyscalp.
"Whosaythisword?"sheaskedwithoutatraceofknowinghowwickedIwasbeing.Ishruggedmyshouldersandsaid,"Someboyinmyclasssaidesepeopledoesetorture."
"esepeopledomanythings,"shesaidsimply."esepeopledobusiness,domedie,dopainting.NotlazylikeAmeripeople.Wedotorture.Besttorture."
MyolderbrotherViwastheonewhoactuallygotthechessset.WehadgoheannualChristmaspartyheldattheFirsteseBaptistChurchattheendofthealley.ThemissionaryladieshadputtogetheraSantabagofgiftsdonatedbymembersofanotherchurohegiftshadhem.Therewereseparatesacksforboysandgirlsofdifferentages.
OheeseparishionershaddonnedaSantaClauseandastiffpaperbeardwithcottonballsgluedtoit.IthinktheonlychildrenwhothoughthewastherealthiooyoungtoknowthatSantaClauswasnotese.WhenmyturheSantamanaskedmehowoldIwas.Ithoughtitwasatrickquestion;IwassevenacctotheAmeriulaabytheesedar.IsaidIwasbornonMarch17,1951.Thatseemedtosatisfyhim.HethensolemnlyaskedifIhadbeenavery,verygoodgirlthisyearanddidIbelieveinJesusChristandobeymyparents.Ikheonlyahat.Inoddedbackwithequalsolemnity.
Havingwatchedtheotherchildrenopeningtheirgifts,Ialreadykhatthebiggiftswerenotnecessarilytheones.Onegirlmyagegotalargecbookofbiblicalcharacters,whilealessgreedygirlwhoselectedasmallerboxreceivedaglassvialoflaveoiletwater.Thesoundoftheboxwasalsoimportant.Aten-year-oldboyhadchosenaboxthatjangledwhenheshookit.Itwasatinglobeoftheworldwithaslitforiingmoney.Hemusthavethoughtitwasfullofdimesandnickels,becausewhehatithadjusttenpennies,hisfacefellwithsudisguiseddisappoihathismotherslappedthesideofhisheadandledhimoutofthechurchhall,apologizingtothecrowdforhersonwhohadsuchbadmannershecouldntappreciatesuchafi.
AsIpeeredintothesack,Iquicklyfiheremainis,testingtheirweight,imaginingwhattheytained.Ichoseaheavy,paethatwasedinshinysilverfoilainribbon.Itwasatwelve-packofLifeSaversandIspeofthepartyarrangingandrearrangingthedytubesintheorderofmyfavorites.MybrotherWinstonchosewiselyaswell.Hispresentturtobeaboxofintricateplasticparts;theinstrusontheboxproclaimedthatwhentheywereproperlyassembledhewouldhaveanauthentiiaturereplicaofaWorldWarIIsubmarine.
Vigotthechessset,whichwouldhavebeenaverydetpresenttogetatachurchChristmasparty,exceptitwasobviouslyusedand,aswediscoveredlater,itwasmissingablackpawnandawhiteknight.Mymraciouslythaheunknowor,saying,"Toogood.Costtoomuch."Atwhichpoint,anoldladywithfie,wispyhairowardourfamilyandsaidwithawhistlingwhisper,"Merry,merryChristmas."
Whehome,mymothertoldViothrowthechesssetaway."Shenotwantit.Wenotwantit,"shesaid,tossingherheadstifflytothesidewithatight,proudsmile.Mybrothershaddeafears.Theywerealreadyliningupthechesspiedreadingfromthedog-earedinstrubook.
IwatchedViandWinstonplayduringChristmasweek.ThechessboardseemedtoholdelaboratesecretswaitingtobeuntahechessmenweremorepowerfulthanOldLismagicherbsthatcuredaralcurses.AndmybrothersworesuchseriousfacesthatIwassuresomethingwasatstakethatwasgreaterthanavoidiradesmensdoortoHongSings.
"Letme!Letme!"Ibeggedbetweengameswheherortheotherwouldsitbacksighofreliefandvictory,theotherannoyed,uoletgooftheoute.Vifirstrefusedtoletmeplay,butwhenIofferedmyLifeSaversasreplatsforthebuttonsthatfilledinforthemissingpieces,herelented.Hechosetheflavors:wildcherryfortheblackpaeppermintforthewhiteknight.Winnercouldeatboth.
Asourmothersprinkledflourandrolledoutsmalldoughycirclesforthesteameddumplingsthatwouldbeourdihatnight,Viexplaiherules,pointingtoeachpiece."YouhavesixteenpiedsodoI.Onekingawobishops,twoknights,twocastles,apawns.Thepawnsoveforwardoep,exceptonthefirstmove.Thentheymovetwo.Buttheylytakemenbymovingcrosswayslikethis,exceptinthebeginning,whenyoumoveaheadandtakeanotherpawn."
"Why?"IaskedasImovedmypawn."Whyttheymovemoresteps?"
"Becausetheyrepawns,"hesaid.
"Butwhydotheygocrosswaystotakeothermen.Whyarentthereanywomenandchildren?"
"Whyistheskyblue?Whymustyoualwaysaskstupidquestions?"askedVi."Thisisagame.Thesearetherules.Ididntmakethemup.See.Here.Inthebook."Hejabbedapageawninhishand."Pawn.P-A-W-N.Pawyourself."
Mymotherpattedtheflouroffherhands."Letmeseebook,"shesaidquietly.Shesedthepagesquickly,notreadingthefnEnglishsymbols,seemingtosearchdeliberatelyfornothinginparticular.
"ThisAmerirules,"shecludedatlast."Everytimepeopleeoutfrntry,mustknowrules.Younotknow,judgesay,Toobad,goback.Theynottellingyouwhysoyouusetheirwaygoforward.Theysay,Dontknowwhy,youfindoutyourself.Buttheyknowingallthetime.Betteryoutakeit,findoutwhyyourself."Shetossedherheadbackwithasatisfiedsmile.
Ifoundoutaboutallthewhyslater.Ireadtherulesandlookedupallthebigwordsinadiary.Iborrowedbooksfromtheatownlibrary.Istudiedeachchesspiece,tryingtoabsorbthepowereatained.
Ilearnedaboutopeningmovesandwhyitsimportanttotroltheterearlyon;theshortestdistaweentwopointsisstraightdownthemiddle.Ilearnedaboutthemiddlegameandwhytacticsbetweentwoadversariesarelikeclashiheonewhoplaysbetterhastheclearestplansforbothattagaingoutoftraps.Ilearnedwhyitisessentialintheendgametohavefht,amathematiderstandingofallpossiblemoves,andpatience;allweaknessesandadvantagesbeeevidenttadversaryandareobscuredtoppo.Idiscoveredthatforthewholegameogatherinvisiblestrengthsaheendgamebeforethegamebegins.
IalsofoundoutwhyIshouldneverreveal"why"toothers.Alittleknowledgewithheldisagreatadvantageoneshouldstoreforfutureuse.Thatisthepowerofchess.Itisagameofsecretsinwhiustshowaell.
IlovedthesecretsIfoundwithiy-fourbladwhitesquares.Icarefullydrewahandmadechessboardandpiothewallomybed,whereatnightIwouldstareforhoursatimaginarybattles.SoonInolongerlostanygamesorLifeSavers,butIlostmyadversaries.WinstonandVidecidedtheyweremoreiedinroamireetsafterschoolintheirHopalongCassidycowboyhats.
Onacoldspringafternoon,whilewalkinghomefromschool,Idetouredthroughtheplaygroundattheendofouralley.Isawagroupofoldmen,twoseatedacrossafoldingtableplayingagameofchess,otherssmokingpipes,eatis,andwatg.IranhomeandgrabbedVischessset,whichwasboundinacardboardboxwithrubberbands.IalsocarefullyselectedtwoprizedrollsofLifeSavers.Icamebacktotheparkandapproachedamanwhowasthegame.
"Wanttoplay?"Iaskedhim.Hisfacewidehsurpriseandhegrinnedashelookedattheboxundermyarm.
"Littlesister,beenalongtimesinceIplaywithdolls,"hesaid,smilingbenevolently.Iquicklyputtheboxdowohimonthebenddisplayedmyretort.
LauPo,asheallowedmetocallhim,turtobeamuchbetterplayerthanmybrothers.IlostmanygamesandmanyLifeSavers.Butovertheweeks,witheachdiminishingrollofdies,Iaddeds.LauPogavemetheheDoubleAttatheEastaShores.ThrowingStoheDrowningMan.TheSuddeingofthe.TheSurprisefromtheSleepingGuard.TheHumbleServantWhoKillstheKing.SandintheEyesofAdvangForces.ADoubleKillingWithoutBlood.
Therewerealsothefinepointsofchessetiquette.Keepcapturedmerows,aswell-tendedprisoners.Neverannounce"Check"withvanity,lestsomeohanunseenswordslityourthroat.Neverhurlpietothesandboxafteryouhavelostagame,becausethenyoumustfindthemagain,byyourself,afterapologizingtoallaroundyou.Bytheendofthesummer,LauPohadtaughtmeallheknew,andIhadbeeabetterchessplayer.
AsmallweekendcrowdofesepeopleandtouristswouldgatherasIplayedaedmyopposonebyone.Mymotherwouldjointhecrowdsduringtheseoutdoorexhibitiongames.Shesatproudlyonthebench,tellingmyadmirerswithproperesehumility,"Isluck."
Amanwhowatchedmeplayintheparksuggestedthatmymotherallowmetoplayinlocalchesstours.Mymothersmiledgraciously,anahatmeantnothing.Idesperatelywaogo,butIbitbackmytongue.Iknewshewouldmeplayamongstrangers.SoaswewalkedhomeIsaidinasmallvoicethatIdidntwanttoplayinthelocaltourheywouldhaveAmerirules.IfIlost,Iwouldbringshameonmyfamily.
"Isshameyoufalldownnobodypushyou,"saidmymother.
Duringmyfirsttour,mymothersatwithmeinthefrontrowasIwaitedformyturn.Ifrequentlybouncedmylegstounstickthemfromtheetalseatofthefoldingchair.Whenmynamewascalled,Ileaptup.Mymotherunedsomethinginherlap.Itwasherg,asmalltabletofredjadewhichheldthesunsfire."Isluck,"shewhispered,andtuckeditintomydresspocket.Ituromyoppo,afifteen-year-oldboyfromOakland.Helookedatme,wrinklinghisnose.
AsIbegantoplay,theboydisappeared,thecolorranoutoftheroom,andIsawonlymywhitepiedhisblaeswaitingoherside.Alightwindbeganblowingpastmyears.ItwhisperedsecretsonlyIcouldhear.
"BlowfromtheSouth,"itmurmured."Thewindleavesnotrail."Isawaclearpath,thetrapstoavoid.Thecrowdrustled."Shhh!Shhh!"saidtheersoftheroom.Thewironger."ThrowsandfromtheEasttodistracthim."Theknightcameforwardreadyforthesacrifice.Thewindhissed,louderandlouder."Blow,blow,blow.Heotsee.Heisblindnow.Makehimleanawayfromthewindsoheiseasiertoknockdown."
"Check,"Isaid,asthewindroaredwithlaughter.Thewinddieddowntolittlepuffs,myowh.
MymotherplacedmyfirsttrophyoanewplasticchesssetthattheneighborhoodTaosocietyhadgiventome.Asshewipedeachpiecewithasoftcloth,shesaid,"imewinmore,loseless."
"Ma,itsnothoiecesyoulose,"Isaid."Sometimesyouolosepiecestogetahead."
"Bettertoloseless,seeifyoureallyneed."
Attheour,Iwonagain,butitwasmymotherwhoworethetriumphantgrin.
"Losteightpiecethistime.Lasttimewaseleven.WhatItellyou?Betteroffloseless!"Iwasannoyed,butIcouldntsayanything.
Iattendedmoretours,eaefartherawayfromhome.Iwonallgames,inalldivisions.Theesebakerydownstairsfromourflatdisplayedmygrowingcolleoftrophiesinitswindow,amidstthedust-coveredcakesthatwereneverpickedup.ThedayafterIortantregionaltourhewindowencasedafreshsheetcakewithwhipped-creamfrostingandredscriptsaying,"gratulations,WaverlyJong,atownChessChampion."Soohat,aflowershop,headstoneengraver,andfuneralparlorofferedtosponsormeinnationaltours.ThatswhenmymotherdecidedInolongerhadtodothedishes.WinstonandVihadtodomychores.
"Whydoesshegettoplayandwedoallthework,"plainedVi.
"IsnewAmerirules,"saidmymother."Meimeiplay,squeezeallherbrainsoutforwinchess.Youplay,worthsqueezetowel."
Bymyninthbirthday,Iwasanationalchesschampion.Iwasstillsome429pointsawayfromgrand-masterstatus,butIwastoutedastheGreatAmeriHope,achildprodigyandagirltoboot.TheyranaphotoofmeinLifemagazioaquoteinwhichBobbyFischersaid,"Therewillneverbeawomangrandmaster.""Yourmove,Bobby,"saidthecaption.
ThedaytheytookthemagaziureIworelyplaitedbraidsclippedwithplasticbarrettestrimmedwithrhiones.Ilayinginalargehighschoolauditoriumthatechoedwithphlegmycoughsandthesqueakyrubberknobsofchairlegsslidingacrossfreshlywaxedwoodenfloors.SeatedacrossfrommewasanAmeriman,aboutthesameageasLauPo,maybefifty.Irememberthathissweatybrowseemedtoweepatmyeverymove.Heworeadark,malodoroussuit.Oneofhispocketswasstuffedwithagreatwhitekerchiefonwhichhewipedhispalmbeforesweepinghishahechosenchesspiecewithgreatflourish.
Inmycrisppink-and-whitedresswithscratchylaceattheneeoftwomymotherhadsewnforthesespecialoccasions,Iwouldclaspmyhandsundermy,thedelicatepointsofmyelbowspoisedlightlyoableinthemannermymotherhadshownmeforposingforthepress.Iwouldswingmypatehershoesbadforthlikeanimpatientchildridingonaschoolbus.ThenIwouldpause,sumylips,twirlmychosenpiemidairasifundecided,andthenfirmlyplantitinitshreateningplace,withatriumphantsmilethrownbackatmyoppofoodmeasure.
InolongerplayedinthealleyofWaverlyPlaevervisitedtheplaygrouhepigeonsandoldmengathered.Iwenttoschool,thelyhometolearnnewchesssecrets,cleverlycealedadvantages,moreescaperoutes.
ButIfounditdifficulttotrateathome.MymotherhadahabitofstandingovermewhileIplottedoutmygames.Ithihoughtofherselfasmyprotectiveally.Herlipswouldbesealedtight,andaftereaade,asoft"Hmmmmph"wouldescapefromhernose.
"Ma,Itpracticewhenyoustandtherelikethat,"Isaidoneday.Sheretreatedtothekitandmadeloudhthepotsandpans.Whenthecrashingstopped,Icouldseeoutoftheerofmyeyethatshewasstandinginthedoorway."Hmmmph!"Onlythisonecameouthtthroat.
MyparentsmademanycessionstoallowmetopractietimeIplaihatthebedroomIsharedwassonoisythatIcouldntthink.Thereafter,mybrotherssleptihelivingroomfagthestreet.IsaidIcouldntfinishmyrice;myheaddidntwhtwhenmystomachwastoofull.Ileftthetablewithhalf-finishedbowlsandnobodyplained.ButtherewasoyIcouldntavoid.IhadtoapanymymotheronSaturdaymarketdayswhenIhadnotouroplay.Mymotherwouldproudlywalkwithme,visitingmanyshops,buyingverylittle."ThismydaughterWave-lyJong,"shesaidtowhoeverlookedherway.
Oneday,afterweleftashopIsaidundermybreath,"Iwishyouwouldntdothat,tellingeverybodyImyhter."Mymotherstoppedwalking.Crowdsofpeoplewithheavybagspushedpastusonthesidewalk,bumpingintofirstoneshoulder,thenanother.
"Aiii-ya.Soshamebewithmother?"Shegraspedmyhaighterassheglaredatme.
Ilookeddown."Itsnotthat,itsjustsoobvious.Itsjustsoembarrassing."
"Embarrassyoubemydaughter?"Hervoicewascragwithanger.
"ThatsnotwhatImeant.ThatsnotwhatIsaid."
"Whatyousay?"
Ikwasamistaketosayanythingmore,butIheardmyvoicespeaking."Whydoyouhavetousemetoshowoff?Ifyouwanttoshowoff,thenwhydontyoulearntoplaychess."
Mymotherseyesturodangerousblackslits.Shehadnowordsforme,justsharpsilence.
Ifeltthewindrushingaroundmyhotears.Ijerkedmyhandoutofmymhtgraspandspunaround,knogintoanoldwoman.Herbagofgroceriesspilledtotheground.
"Aii-ya!Stupidgirl!"mymotherandthewomancried.esandtinscareeneddownthesidewalk.Asmymotherstoopedtohelptheoldickuptheesgfood,Itookoff.
Iraceddowreet,dashiweenpeople,notlookingbackasmymotherscreamedshrilly,"Meimei!Meimei!"Ifleddownanalley,pastdarkcurtainedshopsandmertswashingthegrimeofftheirwindows.Ispedintothesunlight,intestreetcrowdedwithtouristsexaminingtrisandsouvenirs.Iduckedintoanotherdarkalley,downareet,upanotheralley.IranuntilithurtandIrealizedIhadogo,thatIwasnotrunningfromanything.Thealleystainednoescaperoutes.
Mybreathcameoutlikeangrysmoke.Itwascold.Isatdoturnedplasticpailoastaptyboxes,cuppingmywithmyhands,thinkinghard.Iimaginedmymother,firstwalkingbrisklydowreetoranotherlookingforme,thengivingupaurninghometoawaitmyarrival.Aftertwohours,Istooduponcreakinglegsandslowlywalkedhome.
ThealleywasquietandIcouldseetheyellowlightsshiningfromourflatliketwotigerseyesinthenight.Iclimbedthesixteeothedoor,advangquietlyupeachsoasnottomakeanywarningsounds.Iturheknob;thedoorwaslocked.Iheardachairmoving,quicksteps,thelocksturning—click!click!click!—ahedooropened.
"Abouttimeyougothome,"saidVi."Boy,areyouintrouble."
Heslidbacktothediable.Onaplatterweretheremainsofalargefish,itsfleshyheadstillectedtobonesswimmingupstreaminvainescape.Standingtherewaitingformypunishment,Iheardmymotherspeakinadryvoice.
"Wenotingthisgirl.Thisgirlnothaveingforus."
Nobodylookedatme.Bonechopstickskedagainsttheinsidesofbowlsbeiiedintohungrymouths.
Iwalkedintomyroom,closedthedoor,andlaydownoheroomwasdark,theceilingfilledwithshadowsfromthediimelightsofneighbflats.
Inmyhead,Isawachessboardwithsixty-fourbladwhitesquares.Oppositemewasmyoppowoangryblackslits.Sheworeatriumphantsmile."Strowindotbeseen,"shesaid.
Herblaadvancedacrosstheplane,slowlymargtoeachsuccessivelevelasasi.Mywhitepiecesscreamedastheyscurriedandfellofftheboardonebyone.Ashermendrewclosertomyedge,Ifeltmyselfgrowinglight.Iroseupintotheairathewindow.Higherandhigher,abovethealley,overthetopsoftiledroofs,whereIwasgatheredupbytheusheduptowardthenightskyuntileverythingbelowmedisappearedandIwasalone.
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