Chapter 7
March20.Longtalkwithlyonthesubjeyrevolt.
Hehadhisgrandmanneron.Isuppleandsuave.Attackedmeonthescoreofloveforoher.Triedtoimaginehismother:ot.Toldmeonamomentofthoughtlessness,hisfatherwassixty-onewhenhewasborn.seehim.Strongfarmertype.Pepperandsaltsuit.Squarefeet.U,grizzledbeard.Probablyattendscmatches.PayshisduesregularlybutnotplentifullytoFatherDwyerofLarras.Sometimestalkstogirlsafternightfall.Buthismother?Veryyoungorveryold?Hardlythefirst.Ifso,lywouldnothavespokenashedid.Oldthen.Probably,anded.Hencelysdespairofsoul:thechildofexhaustedloins.
March21,m.Thoughtthisinbedlastnightbutwastoolazyaoaddtoit.Free,yes.TheexhaustedloihoseofElizabethandZacchary.Theheprecursor.Item:heeatschieflybellybaddriedfigs.Readlocustsandwildhoney.Also,whenthinkingofhim,sawalwaysasternseveredheadordeathmaskasifoutlinedonagreycurtainorveronica.Decollationtheycallitinthegold.PuzzledforthemomentbysaintJohnattheLatingate.WhatdoIsee?Adecollatedpercurstopickthelock.
March21,night.Free.Soulfreeandfancyfree.Letthedeadburythedead.Ay.Ahedeadmarrythedead.
March22.InpanywithLynchfollowedasizeablehospitalnurse.Lynchsidea.Dislikeit.Twoleanhungrygreyhoundswalkingafteraheifer.
March23.Havenotseenhersinight.Unwell?Sitsatthefireperhapswithmammasshawlonhershoulders.Butnotpeevish.Anicebowlofgruel?Wontyounow?
March24.Beganwithadiscussionwithmymother.Subject:B.V.M.Handicappedbymysexandyouth.ToescapehelduprelatioweenJesusandPapaagainstthose-betweenMaryandherson.Saidreligionwasnotalying-inhospital.Motherindulgent.SaidIhaveaqueermindandhavereadtoomuottrue.Havereadlittleanduoodless.ThenshesaidIwouldebacktofaithbecauseIhadarestlessmind.Thismeanstoleavechurchbybackdoorofsinaerthroughtheskylightofrepentance.otrepent.Toldhersoandaskedforsixpethreepence.
Theocollege.OtherwrahlittleroundheadrogueseyeGhezzi.ThistimeaboutBrunotheNolan.BeganinItalianandendedinpidginEnglish.HesaidBrunowasaterribleheretic.Isaidhewasterriblyburned.Heagreedtothiswithsomesorrow.Thengavemerecipeforwhathecallsrisottoallabergamasca.Whenhepronouncesasoftoheprotrudeshisfullallipsasifhekissedthevowel.Hashe?Andcouldherepent?Yes,hecould:andcrytworuestears,onefromeacheye.
CrossingStephens,thatis,mygreen,rememberedthathistrymenandnotminehadiedwhatlythehtcalledion.Aquartetofthem,soldiersofthey-seventhinfantryregiment,satatthefootofthecrossandtossedupdicefortheovercoatofthecrucified.
Wenttolibrary.Triedtoreadthreereviews.Useless.Sheisnotoutyet.AmIalarmed?Aboutwhat?Thatshewillneverbeoutagain.
Blakewrote:
IwonderifWilliamBondwilldie
Forassuredlyheisveryill.
Alas,poorWilliam!
IwasoadioramainRotunda.Attheendwerepicturesofbignobs.AmongthemWilliamEwartGladstone,justthendead.OrchestraplayedOWillie,wehavemissedyou.
Araceofclodhoppers!
March25,m.Atroublednightofdreams.Wanttogetthemoffmychest.
Alongcurvinggallery.Fromthefloorasdpillarsofdarkvapours.Itispeopledbytheimagesoffabulouskings,setinstoheirhandsarefoldedupontheirkokenofwearinessandtheireyesaredarkenedfortheerrorsofmengoupbeforethemforeverasdarkvapours.
Strangefiguresadvanceasfromacave.Theyarenotastallasmen.Oseemtostandquiteapartfromaheirfacesarephosphorest,withdarkerstreaks.Theypeeratmeandtheireyesseemtoaskmesomething.Theydonotspeak.
March30.Thiseveninglywasintheporchofthelibrary,proposingaproblemtoDixonandherbrother.Amotherletherchildfallintotheillharpingoher.Acrocodileseizedthechild.Motheraskeditback.Crocodilesaidallrightifshetoldhimwhathewasgoingtodowiththechild,eatitor.
Thismentality,Lepiduswouldsay,isindeedbredoutofyourmudbytheoperationofyoursun.
Andmine?Isitnottoo?ThenintoNilemudwithit!
April1.Disapproveofthislastphrase.
April2.SawherdrinkingteaaingcakesinJohnstons,MooneyandOBriens.Rather,lynx-eyedLynchsaassed.Hetellsmelywasiherebybrother.Didhebringhiscrocodile?Ishetheshininglightnow?Well,Idiscoveredhim.IprotestIdid.ShiningquietlybehindabushelofWicklowbran.
April3.MetDavinatthecigarshopoppositeFindlaterschurch.Hewasinablacksweaterandhadahurleystick.AskedmewasittrueIwasgoingawayandwhy.ToldhimtheshortestwaytoTarawasviaHolyhead.Justthenmyfathercameup.Introdu.Fatherpoliteandobservant.AskedDavinifhemightofferhimsomerefreshment.Davincouldnot,wasgoingtoameeting.Whenwecameawayfathertoldmehehadagoodhoeye.AskedmewhyIdidnotjoinarowingclub.Ipretehinkitover.ToldmethenhowhebrokePehersheart.Waoreadlaw.SaysIwascutoutforthat.Moremud,morecrocodiles.
April5.Wildspring.Scuddingclouds.Olife!Darkstreamofswirlingbogwateronwhichapple-treeshavecastdowntheirdelicateflowers.Eyesofgirlsamongtheleaves.Girlsdemureandromping.Allfairorauburn:nodarkoheyblushbetter.Houpla!
April6.Certainlysheremembersthepast.Lynchsaysallwomendo.Thensheremembersthetimeofherchildhood-andmine,ifIwaseverachild.Thepastisedinthepresentandthepresentislivingonlybecauseitbringsforththefuture.Statuesofwomen,ifLynchberight,shouldalwaysbefullydraped,onehandofthewomanfeelifullyherownhinderparts.
April6,later.MichaelRobartesremembersfotteyand,whenhisarmsherround,hepressesinhisarmsthelovelinesswhichhaslongfadedfromtheworld.Notthis.Notatall.Idesiretopressinmyarmsthelovelinesswhichhaseintotheworld.
April10.Faintly,uheheavynight,throughthesilehecitywhichhasturnedfromdreamstodreamlesssleepasawearyloverwhomnocaressesmove,thesoundofhoofsupontheroad.Notsofaintlynowastheyehebridge;andinamoment,astheypassthedarkenedwindows,thesilenceisclovenbyalarmasbyanarrow.Theyareheardnowfaraway,hoofsthatshineamidtheheavynightasgems,hurryingbeyondthesleepiowhatjourneysend-whatheart?-bearingwhattidings?
April11.ReadwhatIwrotelastnight.Vaguewordsfueemotion.Wouldshelikeit?Ithinkso.ThenIshouldhavetolikeitalso.
April13.Thattundishhasbeenonmymindforalongtime.IlookeditupandfinditEnglishandgoodoldbluntEnglishtoo.Damnthedeanofstudiesandhisfunnel!Whatdidheeherefortoteachushisownlanguageortolearnitfromus.Damnhimonewayortheother!
April14.JohnAlphonsusMulrennanhasjustreturnedfromthewestofIreland.EuropeanandAsiaticpaperspleasecopy.Hetoldushemetanoldmanthereinamountain.Oldmanhadredeyesandshortpipe.OldmanspokeIrish.MulrennanspokeIrish.ThenoldmanandMulrennanspokeEnglish.Mulrennanspoketohimaboutuniverseandstars.Oldmansat,listened,smoked,spat.Thensaid:
--Ah,theremustbeterriblequeercreaturesatthelatterandoftheworld.
Ifearhim.Ifearhisred-rimmedhoriswithhimImuststruggleallthroughthisnighttilldaye,tillheorIliedead,grippinghimbythesihroattill.
Tillwhat?Tillheyieldtome?No.Imeannoharm.
April15.MethertodaypointblankinGraftohecrhtustogether.Webothstopped.SheaskedmewhyInevercame,saidshehadheardallsortsofstoriesaboutme.Thiswasonlytogaintime.AskedmewasIwritingpoems?Aboutwhom?Iaskedher.Thisfusedhermoreasorryaurnedoffthatvalveatondopehespiritual-heroicrefrigeratingapparatus,iedandpatentedinalltriesbyDanteAlighieri.Talkedrapidlyofmyselfandmyplans.InthemidstofitunluckilyImadeasuddeureofarevolutionarynature.Imusthavelookedlikeafellowthrowingahandfulofpeasintotheair.Peoplebegantolookatus.Sheshookhandsamomentafterand,ingoingaway,saidshehopedIwoulddowhatIsaid.
NowIcallthatfriendly,dontyou?
Yes,Ilikedhertoday.Alittleormuch?Dontknow.Ilikedheranditseemsanewfeelingtome.Then,inthatcase,alltherest,allthatIthoughtIthoughtandallthatIfeltIfelt,alltherestbeforenow,infact.O,giveitup,oldchap!Sleepitoff!
April16.Away!Away!
Thespellofarmsandvoices:thewhitearmsofroads,theirpromiseofbradtheblackarmsoftallshipsthatstandagainstthemooaleofdistantnations.Theyareheldouttosay:Wearealone-e.Andthevoicessaywiththem:Weareyourkinsmen.Andtheairisthickwiththeirpanyastheycalltome,theirkinsman,makiogo,shakingthewingsoftheirexultantandterribleyouth.
April26.Motherisputtingmynewsedhandclothesinorder.Shepraysnow,shesays,thatImaylearninmyownlifeandawayfromhomeandfriendswhattheheartisandwhatitfeels.Amen.Sobeit.Wele,Olife,Igotoenterforthemillionthtimetherealityofexperieeihyofmysoultheuedsyrace.
April27.Oldfather,oldartificer,standmenowandeveringoodstead.
Dublin,1904
Trieste,1914松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
Hehadhisgrandmanneron.Isuppleandsuave.Attackedmeonthescoreofloveforoher.Triedtoimaginehismother:ot.Toldmeonamomentofthoughtlessness,hisfatherwassixty-onewhenhewasborn.seehim.Strongfarmertype.Pepperandsaltsuit.Squarefeet.U,grizzledbeard.Probablyattendscmatches.PayshisduesregularlybutnotplentifullytoFatherDwyerofLarras.Sometimestalkstogirlsafternightfall.Buthismother?Veryyoungorveryold?Hardlythefirst.Ifso,lywouldnothavespokenashedid.Oldthen.Probably,anded.Hencelysdespairofsoul:thechildofexhaustedloins.
March21,m.Thoughtthisinbedlastnightbutwastoolazyaoaddtoit.Free,yes.TheexhaustedloihoseofElizabethandZacchary.Theheprecursor.Item:heeatschieflybellybaddriedfigs.Readlocustsandwildhoney.Also,whenthinkingofhim,sawalwaysasternseveredheadordeathmaskasifoutlinedonagreycurtainorveronica.Decollationtheycallitinthegold.PuzzledforthemomentbysaintJohnattheLatingate.WhatdoIsee?Adecollatedpercurstopickthelock.
March21,night.Free.Soulfreeandfancyfree.Letthedeadburythedead.Ay.Ahedeadmarrythedead.
March22.InpanywithLynchfollowedasizeablehospitalnurse.Lynchsidea.Dislikeit.Twoleanhungrygreyhoundswalkingafteraheifer.
March23.Havenotseenhersinight.Unwell?Sitsatthefireperhapswithmammasshawlonhershoulders.Butnotpeevish.Anicebowlofgruel?Wontyounow?
March24.Beganwithadiscussionwithmymother.Subject:B.V.M.Handicappedbymysexandyouth.ToescapehelduprelatioweenJesusandPapaagainstthose-betweenMaryandherson.Saidreligionwasnotalying-inhospital.Motherindulgent.SaidIhaveaqueermindandhavereadtoomuottrue.Havereadlittleanduoodless.ThenshesaidIwouldebacktofaithbecauseIhadarestlessmind.Thismeanstoleavechurchbybackdoorofsinaerthroughtheskylightofrepentance.otrepent.Toldhersoandaskedforsixpethreepence.
Theocollege.OtherwrahlittleroundheadrogueseyeGhezzi.ThistimeaboutBrunotheNolan.BeganinItalianandendedinpidginEnglish.HesaidBrunowasaterribleheretic.Isaidhewasterriblyburned.Heagreedtothiswithsomesorrow.Thengavemerecipeforwhathecallsrisottoallabergamasca.Whenhepronouncesasoftoheprotrudeshisfullallipsasifhekissedthevowel.Hashe?Andcouldherepent?Yes,hecould:andcrytworuestears,onefromeacheye.
CrossingStephens,thatis,mygreen,rememberedthathistrymenandnotminehadiedwhatlythehtcalledion.Aquartetofthem,soldiersofthey-seventhinfantryregiment,satatthefootofthecrossandtossedupdicefortheovercoatofthecrucified.
Wenttolibrary.Triedtoreadthreereviews.Useless.Sheisnotoutyet.AmIalarmed?Aboutwhat?Thatshewillneverbeoutagain.
Blakewrote:
IwonderifWilliamBondwilldie
Forassuredlyheisveryill.
Alas,poorWilliam!
IwasoadioramainRotunda.Attheendwerepicturesofbignobs.AmongthemWilliamEwartGladstone,justthendead.OrchestraplayedOWillie,wehavemissedyou.
Araceofclodhoppers!
March25,m.Atroublednightofdreams.Wanttogetthemoffmychest.
Alongcurvinggallery.Fromthefloorasdpillarsofdarkvapours.Itispeopledbytheimagesoffabulouskings,setinstoheirhandsarefoldedupontheirkokenofwearinessandtheireyesaredarkenedfortheerrorsofmengoupbeforethemforeverasdarkvapours.
Strangefiguresadvanceasfromacave.Theyarenotastallasmen.Oseemtostandquiteapartfromaheirfacesarephosphorest,withdarkerstreaks.Theypeeratmeandtheireyesseemtoaskmesomething.Theydonotspeak.
March30.Thiseveninglywasintheporchofthelibrary,proposingaproblemtoDixonandherbrother.Amotherletherchildfallintotheillharpingoher.Acrocodileseizedthechild.Motheraskeditback.Crocodilesaidallrightifshetoldhimwhathewasgoingtodowiththechild,eatitor.
Thismentality,Lepiduswouldsay,isindeedbredoutofyourmudbytheoperationofyoursun.
Andmine?Isitnottoo?ThenintoNilemudwithit!
April1.Disapproveofthislastphrase.
April2.SawherdrinkingteaaingcakesinJohnstons,MooneyandOBriens.Rather,lynx-eyedLynchsaassed.Hetellsmelywasiherebybrother.Didhebringhiscrocodile?Ishetheshininglightnow?Well,Idiscoveredhim.IprotestIdid.ShiningquietlybehindabushelofWicklowbran.
April3.MetDavinatthecigarshopoppositeFindlaterschurch.Hewasinablacksweaterandhadahurleystick.AskedmewasittrueIwasgoingawayandwhy.ToldhimtheshortestwaytoTarawasviaHolyhead.Justthenmyfathercameup.Introdu.Fatherpoliteandobservant.AskedDavinifhemightofferhimsomerefreshment.Davincouldnot,wasgoingtoameeting.Whenwecameawayfathertoldmehehadagoodhoeye.AskedmewhyIdidnotjoinarowingclub.Ipretehinkitover.ToldmethenhowhebrokePehersheart.Waoreadlaw.SaysIwascutoutforthat.Moremud,morecrocodiles.
April5.Wildspring.Scuddingclouds.Olife!Darkstreamofswirlingbogwateronwhichapple-treeshavecastdowntheirdelicateflowers.Eyesofgirlsamongtheleaves.Girlsdemureandromping.Allfairorauburn:nodarkoheyblushbetter.Houpla!
April6.Certainlysheremembersthepast.Lynchsaysallwomendo.Thensheremembersthetimeofherchildhood-andmine,ifIwaseverachild.Thepastisedinthepresentandthepresentislivingonlybecauseitbringsforththefuture.Statuesofwomen,ifLynchberight,shouldalwaysbefullydraped,onehandofthewomanfeelifullyherownhinderparts.
April6,later.MichaelRobartesremembersfotteyand,whenhisarmsherround,hepressesinhisarmsthelovelinesswhichhaslongfadedfromtheworld.Notthis.Notatall.Idesiretopressinmyarmsthelovelinesswhichhaseintotheworld.
April10.Faintly,uheheavynight,throughthesilehecitywhichhasturnedfromdreamstodreamlesssleepasawearyloverwhomnocaressesmove,thesoundofhoofsupontheroad.Notsofaintlynowastheyehebridge;andinamoment,astheypassthedarkenedwindows,thesilenceisclovenbyalarmasbyanarrow.Theyareheardnowfaraway,hoofsthatshineamidtheheavynightasgems,hurryingbeyondthesleepiowhatjourneysend-whatheart?-bearingwhattidings?
April11.ReadwhatIwrotelastnight.Vaguewordsfueemotion.Wouldshelikeit?Ithinkso.ThenIshouldhavetolikeitalso.
April13.Thattundishhasbeenonmymindforalongtime.IlookeditupandfinditEnglishandgoodoldbluntEnglishtoo.Damnthedeanofstudiesandhisfunnel!Whatdidheeherefortoteachushisownlanguageortolearnitfromus.Damnhimonewayortheother!
April14.JohnAlphonsusMulrennanhasjustreturnedfromthewestofIreland.EuropeanandAsiaticpaperspleasecopy.Hetoldushemetanoldmanthereinamountain.Oldmanhadredeyesandshortpipe.OldmanspokeIrish.MulrennanspokeIrish.ThenoldmanandMulrennanspokeEnglish.Mulrennanspoketohimaboutuniverseandstars.Oldmansat,listened,smoked,spat.Thensaid:
--Ah,theremustbeterriblequeercreaturesatthelatterandoftheworld.
Ifearhim.Ifearhisred-rimmedhoriswithhimImuststruggleallthroughthisnighttilldaye,tillheorIliedead,grippinghimbythesihroattill.
Tillwhat?Tillheyieldtome?No.Imeannoharm.
April15.MethertodaypointblankinGraftohecrhtustogether.Webothstopped.SheaskedmewhyInevercame,saidshehadheardallsortsofstoriesaboutme.Thiswasonlytogaintime.AskedmewasIwritingpoems?Aboutwhom?Iaskedher.Thisfusedhermoreasorryaurnedoffthatvalveatondopehespiritual-heroicrefrigeratingapparatus,iedandpatentedinalltriesbyDanteAlighieri.Talkedrapidlyofmyselfandmyplans.InthemidstofitunluckilyImadeasuddeureofarevolutionarynature.Imusthavelookedlikeafellowthrowingahandfulofpeasintotheair.Peoplebegantolookatus.Sheshookhandsamomentafterand,ingoingaway,saidshehopedIwoulddowhatIsaid.
NowIcallthatfriendly,dontyou?
Yes,Ilikedhertoday.Alittleormuch?Dontknow.Ilikedheranditseemsanewfeelingtome.Then,inthatcase,alltherest,allthatIthoughtIthoughtandallthatIfeltIfelt,alltherestbeforenow,infact.O,giveitup,oldchap!Sleepitoff!
April16.Away!Away!
Thespellofarmsandvoices:thewhitearmsofroads,theirpromiseofbradtheblackarmsoftallshipsthatstandagainstthemooaleofdistantnations.Theyareheldouttosay:Wearealone-e.Andthevoicessaywiththem:Weareyourkinsmen.Andtheairisthickwiththeirpanyastheycalltome,theirkinsman,makiogo,shakingthewingsoftheirexultantandterribleyouth.
April26.Motherisputtingmynewsedhandclothesinorder.Shepraysnow,shesays,thatImaylearninmyownlifeandawayfromhomeandfriendswhattheheartisandwhatitfeels.Amen.Sobeit.Wele,Olife,Igotoenterforthemillionthtimetherealityofexperieeihyofmysoultheuedsyrace.
April27.Oldfather,oldartificer,standmenowandeveringoodstead.
Dublin,1904
Trieste,1914松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读