Chapter 24
AsIroseanddressed,Ithoughtoverwhathadhappened,andwonderedifitwereadream.IcouldainoftherealitytillIhadseenMr.Rochesteragain,andheardhimrenewhiswordsofloveandpromise.
Whilearrangingmyhair,Ilookedatmyfatheglass,awasnolongerplain:thereeinitsaspedlifeinitscolour;andmyeyesseemedasiftheyhadbeheldthefountoffruition,andborrowedbeamsfromthelustrousripple.Ihadoftenbeenunwillingtolookatmymaster,becauseIfearedhecouldnotbepleasedatmylook;butIwassureImightliftmyfacetohisnow,andnotcoolhisaffebyitsexpression.Itookaplainbutandlightsummerdressfrommydrautiton:itseemednoattirehadeversowellbee,becausenonehadIeverworninsoblissfulamood.
Iwasnotsurprised,whenIrandownintothehall,toseethatabrilliantJunemhadsucceededtothetempestofthenight;andtofeel,throughtheopenglassdoor,thebreathingofafreshandfragrantbreeze.NaturemustbegladsomewhenIwassohappy.Abeggar-womanatleboy—pale,raggedobjectsboth—wereingupthewalk,andIrandownandgavethemallthemoneyIhappeohaveinmypurse—somethreeorfourshillings:goodorbad,theymustpartakeofmyjubilee.Therookscawed,andblitherbirdssang;butnothingwassomerryorsomusicalasmyownrejoigheart.
Mrs.Fairfaxsurprisedmebylookingoutofthewindowwithasadtenandsayinggravely—“MissEyre,willyouetobreakfast?”Duringthemealshewasquietandcool:butIcouldnotundeceiveherthen.Imustwaitformymastertogiveexplanations;andsomustshe.IatewhatIcould,andthenIhastenedupstairs.ImetAdèleleavingtheschoolroom.
“Whereareyougoing?Itistimeforlessons.”
“Mr.Rochesterhassentmeawaytothenursery.”
“Whereishe?”
“Inthere,”pointingtotheapartmentshehadleft;ain,andtherehestood.
“eandbidmegood-m,”saidhe.Igladlyadvanced;anditwasnotmerelyacoldwordnow,orevenashakeofthehandthatIreceived,butanembradakiss.Itseemednatural:itseemedgenialtobesowellloved,socaressedbyhim.
“Jane,youlookblooming,andsmiling,ay,”saidhe:“trulyprettythism.Isthismypale,littleelf?Isthismymustard-seed?Thislittlesunny-facedgirlwiththedimpledcheekandrosylips;thesatin-smoothhazelhair,andtheradianthazeleyes?”(Ihadgreeneyes,reader;butyoumustexcusethemistake:forhimtheywerenew-dyed,Isuppose.)
“ItisJaneEyre,sir.”
“SoontobeJaneRochester,”headded:“infourweeks,Ja;notadaymore.Doyouhearthat?”
Idid,andIcouldnotquiteprehendit:itmademegiddy.Thefeeling,theannousentthroughme,wassomethingstrohanwassistentwithjoy—somethingthatsmoteandstuwas,Ithinkalmostfear.
“Youblushed,andnowyouarewhite,Jane:whatisthatfor?”
“Becauseyougavemeanewname—JaneRochester;anditseemsse.”
“Yes,Mrs.Rochester,”saidhe;“youngMrs.Rochester—FairfaxRochester’sgirl-bride.”
“Iteverbe,sir;itdoesnotsoundlikely.Humanbeingsneverenjoypletehappinessinthisworld.Iwasnotbornforadiffereinytotherestofmyspecies:toimaginesuchalotbefallingmeisafairytale—aday-dream.”
“WhichIdwillrealise.Ishallbeginto-day.ThismIwrotetomybankerinLondontoseainjewelshehasinhiskeeping,—heirloomsfortheladiesofThornfield.InadayortwoIhopetopourthemintoyourlap:foreveryprivilege,everyattentionshallbeyoursthatIwouldaccordapeer’sdaughter,ifabouttomarryher.”
“Oh,sir!—neverrainjewels!Idon’tliketohearthemspokenof.JewelsforJaneEyresoundsunnaturalandstrange:Iwouldrathernothavethem.”
“Iwillmyselfputthediamondroundyournedthecircletonyourforehead,—whichitwillbee:fornature,atleast,hasstampedherpatentofnobilityonthisbrow,Jane;andIwillclaspthebraceletsonthesefinewrists,andloadthesefairy-likefingerswithrings.”
“No,no,sir!thinkofothersubjects,andspeakofotherthings,andinarain.Don’taddressmeasifIwereabeauty;Iamyourplain,Quakerishgoverness.”
“Youareabeautyinmyeyes,ayjustafterthedesireofmyheart,—delicateandaerial.”
“Punyandinsignifit,youmean.Youaredreaming,sir,—oryouaresneering.Fod’ssakedon’tbeironical!”
“Iwillmaketheworldaowledgeyouabeauty,too,”hewenton,whileIreallybecameuneasyatthestrainhehadadopted,becauseIfelthewaseitherdeludinghimselftodeludeme.“IwillattiremyJaneinsatinandladsheshallhaverosesinherhair;andIwillcovertheheadIlovebestricelessveil.”
“Andthenyouwon’tknowme,sir;andIshallnotbeyourJaneEyreanylonger,butanapeinaharlequin’sjacket—ajayinborrowedplumes.Iwouldassoonseeyou,Mr.Rochester,trickedoutinstage-trappings,asmyselfcladinacourt-lady’srobe;andIdon’tcallyouhandsome,sir,thoughIloveyoumostdearly:fartoodearlytoflatteryou.Don’tflatterme.”
Hepursuedhistheme,however,withoutnotigmydeprecation.“ThisverydayIshalltakeyouinthecarriagetoMillcote,andyoumustchoosesomedressesforyourself.Itoldyouweshallbemarriedinfourweeks.Theweddingistotakeplacequietly,inthechurchdownbelowyonder;andthenIshallwaftyouawayatoown.Afterabriefstaythere,Ishallbearmytreasuretionshesun:toFreneyardsandItalianplains;andsheshallseewhateverisfamousinoldstoryandinmodernrecord:sheshalltaste,too,ofthelifeofcities;andsheshalllearntovalueherselfbyjustparisonwithothers.”
“ShallItravel?—andwithyou,sir?”
“YoushallsojournatParis,Rome,andFlorence,VenidVienna:allthegroundIhavewanderedovershallbere-troddenbyyou:whereverIstampedmyhoof,yoursylph’sfootshallstepalso.Tenyearssince,IflewthroughEuropehalfmad;withdisgust,hate,andrageasmypanions:nowIshallrevisitithealedandsed,withaveryangelasmyforter.”
Ilaughedathimashesaidthis.“Iamnotanangel,”Iasserted;“andIwillillIdie:Iwillbemyself.Mr.Rochester,youmustherexpeorexaythiialofme—foryouwill,anymorethanIshallgetitofyou:whichIdonotatallanticipate.”
“Whatdoyouanticipateofme?”
“Foralittlewhileyouwillperhapsbeasyouarenow,—averylittlewhile;andthenyouwillturncool;andthenyouwillbecapricious;andthenyouwillbestern,andIshallhavemuchadotopleaseyou:butwhenyougetwellusedtome,youwillperhapslikemeagain,—likeme,Isay,notloveme.Isupposeyourlovewilleffervessixmonths,orless.Ihaveobservedinbookswrittehatperiodassighefarthesttowhichahusband’sardourextends.Yet,afterall,asafriendandpanion,Ihopeobeequitedistastefultomydearmaster.”
“Distasteful!andlikeyouagain!IthinkIshalllikeyouagain,aagain:andIwillmakeyoufessIdonotonlylike,butloveyou—withtruth,fervour,stancy.”
“Yetareyounotcapricious,sir?”
“Towomenwhopleasemeonlybytheirfaces,IamtheverydevilwhenIfindouttheyhavehersoulss—whentheyopentomeaperspectiveofflatriviality,andperhapsimbecility,coarseness,andill-temper:buttothecleareyeandeloquenttohesoulmadeoffire,andthecharacterthatbendsbutdoesnotbreak—atoncesuppleandstable,tractableandsistent—Iamevertenderandtrue.”
“Hadyoueverexperienceofsuchacharacter,sir?Didyoueverlovesuone?”
“Iloveitnow.”
“Butbeforeme:ifI,indeed,inanyrespeeuptoyourdifficultstandard?”
“Iyourlikeness.Jane,youpleaseme,andyoumasterme—youseemtosubmit,andIlikethesenseofplianpart;andwhileIamtwini,silkenskeinroundmyfisendsathrillupmyarmtomyheart.Iaminfluenced—quered;andtheinfluenceissweeterthanIexpress;andthequestIundergohasawitcherybeyondanytriumphIwin.Whydoyousmile,Jane?Whatdoesthatinexplicable,thatunyturnoftenancemean?”
“Iwasthinking,sir(youwillexcusetheidea;itwasinvoluntary),IwasthinkingofHerculesandSamsonwiththeircharmers—”
“Youwere,youlittleelfish—”
“Hush,sir!Youdon’ttalkverywiselyjustnow;anymorethanthosegentlemenactedverywisely.However,hadtheybeenmarried,theywouldnodoubtbytheirseverityashusbandshavemadeupfortheirsoftnessassuitors;andsowillyou,Ifear.Iwonderhowyouwillanswermeayearhence,shouldIaskafavouritdoesnotsuityourvenienceorpleasuretogrant.”
“Askmesomethingnow,Jaheleastthing:Idesiretobeeed—”
“IndeedIwill,sir;Ihavemypetitionallready.”
“Speak!Butifyoulookupandsmilewiththattenance,IshallswearcessionbeforeIknowtowhat,andthatwillmakeafoolofme.”
“Notatall,sir;Iaskonlythis:don’tsendforthejewels,anddon’tewithroses:youmightaswellputaboldlaceroundthatplainpockethandkerchiefyouhavethere.”
“Imightaswell‘gildrefinedgold.’Iknowit:yourequestisgrahen—forthetime.IwillremandtheorderIdespatchedtomybanker.Butyouhaveaskedforanything;youhaveprayedagifttobewithdrawn:tryagain.”
“Wellthen,sir,havethegoodogratifymycuriosity,whichismuchpiquedononepoint.”
Helookeddisturbed.“What?what?”hesaidhastily.“Curiosityisadangerouspetition:itiswellIhavenottakenavowtoaccordeveryrequest—”
“Buttherebenodangerinplyingwiththis,sir.”
“Utterit,JaIwishthatinsteadofamereinquiryinto,perhaps,asecret,itwasawishforhalfmyestate.”
“Now,KingAhasuerus!WhatdoIwantwithhalfyourestate?DoyouthinkIamaJew-usurer,seekinggoodimentinland?Iwouldmuchratherhaveallyourfidence.Youwillnotexcludemefromyourfidenceifyouadmitmetoyourheart?”
“Youareweletoallmyfideisworthhaving,Jafod’ssake,don’tdesireauselessburden!Don’tlongforpoison—don’tturnoutadhtEveonmyhands!”
“Whynot,sir?Youhavejustbeentellingmehowmuchyoulikedtobequered,andhowpleasantover-persuasionistoyou.Don’tyouthinkIhadbettertakeadvahefession,andbeginandcoaxareat—evendbesulkyifnecessary—forthesakeofamereessayofmypower?”
“Idareyoutoanysuchexperiment.Encroach,presume,andthegameisup.”
“Isit,sir?Yousoongivein.Howsternyoulooknow!Youreyebrowshavebeeasthickasmyfinger,andyourforeheadresembleswhat,insomeveryastonishiry,Ioncesawstyled,‘ablue-piledthunderloft.’Thatwillbeyourmarriedlook,sir,Isuppose?”
“Ifthatwillbeyourmarriedlook,I,asaChristian,willsoohenotionofswithamerespriteorsalamander.Butwhathadyoutoask,thing,—outwithit?”
“There,youarelessthancivilnow;andIlikerudenessagreatdealbetterthanflattery.IhadratherbeathingthanahisiswhatIhavetoask,—WhydidyoutakesuchpainstomakemebelieveyouwishedtomarryMissIngram?”
“Isthatall?ThankGoditisnoworse!”Andnowheunknithisblackbrows;lookeddown,smilingatme,andstrokedmyhair,asifwellpleasedatseeingadangeraverted.“IthinkImayfess,”hetinued,“evenalthoughIshouldmakeyoualittleindignant,Jane—andIhaveseenwhatafire-spirityoubewhenyouareindignant.Youglowedintheoonlightlastnight,whenyoumutiniedagainstfate,andclaimedyourrankasmyequal.Ja,by-the-bye,itwasyouwhomademetheoffer.”
“OfcourseIdid.Buttothepointifyouplease,sir—MissIngram?”
“Well,IfeignedcourtshipofMissIngram,becauseIwishedtorenderyouasmadlyihmeasIwaswithyou;andIknewjealousywouldbethebestallyIcouldcallinforthefurtherahatend.”
“Excellent!Nowyouaresmall—notobiggerthantheendofmylittlefiwasaburningshameandasdalousdisgracetoathatway.DidyouthinknothingofMissIngram’sfeelings,sir?”
“Herfeelingsaretratedinone—pride;andthatneedshumbling.Wereyoujealous,Jane?”
“Nevermind,Mr.Rochester:itisinnowayiingtoyoutoknowthat.Arulyoncemore.DoyouthinkMissIngramwillnotsufferfromyourdishocoquetry?Won’tshefeelforsakenaed?”
“Impossible!—whenItoldyouhowshe,orary,desertedme:theideaofmyinsolvencycooled,orratherextinguished,herflameinamoment.”
“Youhaveacurious,designingmind,Mr.Rochester.Iamafraidyourprinciplesonsomepointsareetric.”
“Myprincipleswererained,Jaheymayhavegrownalittleawryforwantofattention.”
“Onceagain,seriously;mayIenjoythegreatgoodthathasbeenvouchsafedtome,withoutfearingthatanyoneelseissufferierpainImyselffeltawhileago?”
“Thatyoumay,mygoodlittlegirl:thereisnotanotherbeingintheworldhasthesamepureloveformeasyourself—forIlaythatpleasantunysoul,Jane,abeliefinyouraffe.”
Iturnedmylipstothehandthatlayonmyshoulder.Ilovedhimverymuch—morethanIcouldtrustmyselftosay—morethanwordshadpowertoexpress.
“Asksomethingmore,”hesaidpresently;“itismydelighttobeeed,andtoyield.”
Iwasagainreadywithmyrequest.“unicateyouriionstoMrs.Fairfax,sir:shesawmewithyoulastnightinthehall,andshewasshocked.GivehersomeexplanationbeforeIseeheragain.Itpaiobemisjudgedbysogoodawoman.”
“Gotoyourroom,andputonyourbo,”hereplied.“ImeanyoutoapaoMillcotethism;andwhileyouprepareforthedrive,Iwillenlightentheoldlady’suanding.Didshethink,Ja,youhadgiventheworldforlove,andsidereditwelllost?”
“IbelieveshethoughtIhadfottenmystation,andyours,sir.”
“Station!station!—yourstationisi,andonthenecksofthosewhowouldinsultyou,noworhereafter.—Go.”
Iwassoondressed;andwhenIheardMr.RochesterquitMrs.Fairfax’sparlour,Ihurrieddowntoit.Theoldlady,hadbeenreadinghermportionofScripture—theLessonfortheday;herBiblelayopenbeforeher,andherspectacleswereuponit.Heroccupation,suspendedbyMr.Rochester’sannou,seemednotten:hereyes,fixedontheblankposite,expressedthesurpriseofaquietmindstirredbyunwoidings.Seeingme,sherousedherself:shemadeasortofefforttosmile,andframedafewwordsofgratulation;butthesmileexpired,aencewasabandonedunfinished.Sheputupherspectacles,shuttheBible,andpushedherchairbathetable.
“Ifeelsoastonished,”shebegan,“Ihardlyknowwhattosaytoyou,MissEyre.Ihavesurelynotbeendreaming,haveI?SometimesIhalffallasleepwhenIamsittingaloneandfancythingsthathaveneverhappehasseemedtomemorethanoncewhenIhavebeeninadoze,thatmydearhusband,whodiedfifteenyearssince,haseinandsatdownbesideme;andthatIhaveevenheardhimcallmebymyname,Alice,asheusedtodo.Now,youtellmewhetheritisactuallytruethatMr.Rochesterhasaskedyoutomarryhim?Don’tlaughatme.ButIreallythoughthecameinherefiveminutesago,andsaidthatinamonthyouwouldbehiswife.”
“Hehassaidthesamethingtome,”Ireplied.
“Hehas!Doyoubelievehim?Haveyouacceptedhim?”
“Yes.”
Shelookedatmebewildered.“Icouldneverhavethoughtit.Heisaproudman:alltheRochesterswereproud:andhisfather,atleast,likedmoney.He,too,hasalwaysbeencalledcareful.Hemeanstomarryyou?”
“Hetellsmeso.”
Shesurveyedmywholeperson:inhereyesIreadthattheyhadtherefoundnocharmpowerfulenoughtosolvetheenigma.
“Itpassesme!”shetinued;“butnodoubt,itistruesinceyousayso.Howitwillanswer,Iottell:Ireallydon’tknow.Equalityofpositionandfortuneisoftenadvisableinsuchcases;andtherearetwentyyearsofdifferenyes.Hemightalmostbeyourfather.”
“No,indeed,Mrs.Fairfax!”exclaimedI,led;“heisnothinglikemyfather!Noone,whosawustogether,wouldsupposeitforaninstant.Mr.Rochesterlooksasyoung,andisasyoung,assomemenatfive-and-twenty.”
“Isitreallyforloveheisgoingtomarryyou?”sheasked.
Iwassohurtbyheressaicism,thatthetearsrosetomyeyes.
“Iamsrieveyou,”pursuedthewidow;“butyouaresoyoung,andsolittleacquaihmen,Iwishedtoputyouonyuard.Itisanoldsayingthat‘allisnotgoldthatglitters;’andinthiscaseIdofeartherewillbesomethingfoundtobedifferenttowhateitheryouorIexpect.”
“Why?—amIamonster?”Isaid:“isitimpossiblethatMr.Rochestershouldhaveasincereaffeforme?”
“No:youareverywell;andmuchimprovedoflate;andMr.Rochester,Idaresay,isfondofyou.Ihavealwaysnoticedthatyouwereasortofpetofhis.Therearetimeswhen,foryoursake,Ihavebeenalittleuneasyathismarkedpreferendhavewishedtoputyouonyuard:butIdidnotliketosuggesteventhepossibility.Iknewsuideawouldshock,perhapsoffendyou;andyouweresodiscreet,andshlymodestandsensible,Ihopedyoumightbetrustedtoprotectyourself.nightIottellyouwhatIsufferedwhenIsoughtalloverthehouse,andcouldfindyounowhere,northemastereither;atwelveo’clock,sawyoueinwithhim.”
“Well,nevermindthatnow,”Iinterruptedimpatiently;“itisenoughthatallwasright.”
“Ihopeallwillberightintheend,”shesaid:“butbelieveme,youotbetoocareful.TryandkeepMr.Rochesteratadistance:distrustyourselfaswellashim.Gentlemeninhisstatioacedtomarrytheirgovernesses.”
Iwasgrowingtrulyirritated:happily,Adèleranin.
“Letmego,—letmegotoMillcotetoo!”shecried.“Mr.Rochesterwon’t:thoughthereissomuinthenewcarriage.Beghimtoletmegomademoiselle.”
“ThatIwill,Adèle;”andIhastenedawaywithher,gladtoquitmygloomymohecarriagewasready:theywerebringingitroundtothefront,andmymasterwasthepavement,Pilotfollowinghimbackwardsandforwards.
“Adèlemayapanyus,mayshenot,sir?”
“Itoldherno.I’llhavenobrats!—I’llhaveonlyyou.”
“Dolethergo,Mr.Rochester,ifyouplease:itwouldbebetter.”
“Notit:shewillbearestraint.”
Hewasquiteperemptory,bothinlookandvoice.ThechillofMrs.Fairfax’swarnings,andthedampofherdoubtswereuponme:somethingofunsubstantialityanduaintyhadbesetmyhopes.Ihalflostthesenseofpoweroverhim.Iwasaboutmeicallytoobeyhim,withoutfurtherremonstraashehelpedmeintothecarriage,helookedatmyface.
“Whatisthematter?”heasked;“allthesunshineisgone.Doyoureallywishthebairntogo?Willitannoyyouifsheisleftbehind?”
“Iwouldfarrathershewent,sir.”
“Thenoffforyourbo,andbacklikeaflashoflightning!”criedhetoAdèle.
Sheobeyedhimwitheedshemight.
“Afterall,asinglem’sinterruptionwillnotmattermuch,”saidhe,“whenImeanshortlytoclaimyou—yourthoughts,versation,andpany—forlife.”
Adèle,whenliftedin,encedkissingme,bywayofexpressinghergratitudeformyintercession:shewasinstantlystowedawayintoaerohersideofhim.ShethenpeepedroundtowhereIsat;sosternaneighbourwastoorestrictivetohim,inhispresentfraood,shedaredwhispernoobservations,noraskofhimanyinformation.
“Letheretome,”Ieed:“shewill,perhaps,troubleyou,sir:thereisplentyofroomonthisside.”
Hehandedheroverasifshehadbeenalapdog.“I’llseoschoolyet,”hesaid,butnowhewassmiling.
Adèleheardhim,andaskedifshewastogotoschool“sansmademoiselle?”
“Yes,”hereplied,“absolutelysansmademoiselle;forIamtotakemademoiselletothemoon,andthereIshallseekacaveihewhitevalleysamongthevolo-tops,andmademoiselleshalllivewithmethere,andonlyme.”
“Shewillhavenothi:youwillstarveher,”observedAdèle.
“Ishallgathermannaforhermandnight:theplainsandhillsidesinthemoonarebleachedwithmanna,Adèle.”
“Shewillwanttowarmherself:whatwillshedoforafire?”
“Firerisesoutofthelunarmountains:whensheiscold,I’llcarryheruptoapeak,andlayherdownontheedgeofacrater.”
“Oh,qu’elleyseramal—peufortable!Andherclothes,theywillwearout:howshegetnewones?”
Mr.Rochesterprofessedtobepuzzled.“Hem!”saidhe.“Whatwouldyoudo,Adèle?Cudgelyourbrainsforanexpedient.Howwouldawhiteorapinkcloudanswerfown,doyouthink?Andonecouldcutaprettyenoughscarfoutofarainbow.”
“Sheisfarbetterassheis,”cludedAdèle,aftermusingsometime:“besides,shewouldgettiredoflivingwithonlyyouinthemoon.IfIweremademoiselle,Iwouldneversenttogowithyou.”
“Shehassented:shehaspledgedherword.”
“Butyou’tgetherthere;thereisnoroadtothemoon:itisallair;aheryounorshefly.”
“Adèle,lookatthatfield.”WewerenowoutsideThornfieldgates,andbowlinglightlyalongthesmoothroadtoMillcote,wherethedustwaswelllaidbythethuorm,and,wherethelowhedgesandloftytimbertreesoneachsideglistenedgreenandrain-refreshed.
“Inthatfield,Adèle,Iwaswalkinglateoneeveningaboutafhtsiheeveningofthedayyouhelpedmetomakehayintheorchardmeadows;and,asIwastiredwithrakingswaths,Isatdowmeonastile;aookoutalittlebookandapencil,aowriteaboutamisfortubefellmelongago,andawishIhadforhappydaystoe:Iwaswritingawayveryfast,thoughdaylightwasfadingfromtheleaf,whehingcameupthepathandstoppedtwoyardsoffme.Ilookedatit.Itwasalittlethingwithaveilofgossameronitshead.Ibeedittoenearme;itstoodsoonatmyknee.Ineverspoketoit,anditneverspoketome,inwords;butIreaditseyes,anditreadmine;andourspeechlesscolloquywastothiseffect—
“Itwasafairy,andefromElf-land,itsaid;anditserrandwastomakemehappy:Imustgowithitoutoftheonworldtoalonelyplace—suchasthemoon,forinstanditsheadtowardsherhorn,risingoverHay-hill:ittoldmeofthealabastercaveandsilvervalewherewemightlive.IsaidIshouldliketogo;butremi,asyoudidme,thatIhadnowingstofly.
“‘Oh,’returhefairy,‘thatdoesnotsignify!Hereisatalismanwillremovealldifficulties;’andsheheldoutaprettyg.‘Putit,’shesaid,‘onthefourthfingerofmylefthand,andIamyours,andyouaremine;andweshallleaveearth,andmakeourownheavenyonder.’Shenoddedagainatthemoon.Thering,Adèle,isinmybreeches-pocket,uhedisguiseofasn:butImeansoontogeittagain.”
“Butwhathasmademoiselletodowithit?Idon’tcareforthefairy:yousaiditwasmademoiselleyouwouldtaketothemoon?”
“Mademoiselleisafairy,”hesaid,whisperingmysteriously.WhereuponItoldhernottomindhisbadinage;andshe,onherpart,evincedafundofgenuineFrenchscepticism:denominatingMr.Rochester“unvraimenteur,”andassuringhimthatshemadenoatwhateverofhis“tesdefee,”andthat“dureste,iln’yavaitpasdefées,etquandmemeilyenavait:”shewassuretheywouldneverappeartohim,norevergivehimrings,oroffertolivewithhiminthemoon.
ThehourspentatMillcotewasasomewhatharassiome.Mr.Rochesterobligedmetogotoacertainsilkwarehouse:thereIwasorderedtochoosehalf-a-dozendresses.Ihatedthebusiness,Ibeggedleavetodeferit:no—itshouldbegohroughwithnow.Bydireatiesexpressediicwhispers,Ireducedthehalf-dozentotwo:thesehowever,hevowedhewouldselecthimself.WithayIwatchedhiseyeroveaystores:hefixedonarichsilkofthemostbrilliahystdye,andasuperbpinksatin.Itoldhiminanewseriesofwhispers,thathemightaswellbuymeagoldgownandasilverboonce:Ishouldcertainlyneverveowearhischoice.Withinfinitedifficulty,forhewasstubbornasastone,Ipersuadedhimtomakeanexgeinfavourofasoberblacksatinandpearl-greysilk.“Itmightpassforthepresent,”hesaid;“buthewouldyetseemeglitteringlikeaparterre.”
GladwasItogethimoutofthesilkwarehouse,aofajewellersshop:themoreheboughtme,themoremycheekburhasenseofannoyanddegradation.Aswere-ehecarriage,andIsatbackfeverishandfagged,Irememberedwhat,inthehurryofevents,darkandbright,Ihadwhollyfotteerofmyuncle,JohoMrs.Reed:hisiiontoadoptmeandmakemehislegatee.“Itwould,indeed,bearelief,”Ithought,“ifIhadeversosmallanindependeneverbearbeingdressedlikeadollbyMr.Rochester,orsittinglikeasedDahthegoldenshowerfallingdailyroundme.IwillwritetoMadeirathemomehome,andtellmyuncleJohnIamgoingtobemarried,andtowhom:ifIhadbutaprospectofonedaybringingMr.Rochesteranaccessionoffortune,Icouldbettereobekeptbyhimnow.”Andsomewhatrelievedbythisidea(whichIfailednottoexecutethatday),Iventuredoncemoretomeetmymaster’sandlover’seye,whichmostpertinaciouslysoughtmihoughIavertedbothfadgaze.Hesmiled;andIthoughthissmilewassuchasasultanmight,inablissfulandfondmomeowonaslavehisgoldandgemshadenriched:Icrushedhishand,whichwaseverhuntingmine,vigorously,andthrustitbaredwiththepassionatepressure.
“Youlookinthatway,”Isaid;“ifyoudo,I’llwearnothingbutmyoldLowoodfrockstotheendofthechapter.I’llbemarriedinthislilagham:youmaymakeadressing-gownforyourselfoutofthepearl-greysilk,andaninfiniteseriesofwaistcoatsoutoftheblacksatin.”
Hechuckled;herubbedhishands.“Oh,itisrichtoseeandhearher?”heexclaimed.“Issheinal?Isshepiquant?IwouldnotexgethisoleEnglishgirlfrandTurk’swholeseraglio,gazelle-eyes,houriforms,andall!”
TheEasternallusionbitmeagain.“I’llnotstandyouaninthesteadofaseraglio,”Isaid;“sodon’tsidermeanequivalentforone.Ifyouhaveafancyforanythinginthatline,awaywithyou,sir,tothebazaarsofStamboulwithoutdelay,andlayoutiensiveslave-purchasessomeofthatsparecashyouseematalosstospendsatisfactorilyhere.”
“Andwhatwillyoudo,Ja,whileIambargainingforsomanytonsoffleshandsuassortmentofblackeyes?”
“I’llbepreparingmyselftogooutasamissionarytopreachlibertytothemthatareenslaved—yourhareminmatesamongsttherest.I’llgetadmittedthere,an松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
Whilearrangingmyhair,Ilookedatmyfatheglass,awasnolongerplain:thereeinitsaspedlifeinitscolour;andmyeyesseemedasiftheyhadbeheldthefountoffruition,andborrowedbeamsfromthelustrousripple.Ihadoftenbeenunwillingtolookatmymaster,becauseIfearedhecouldnotbepleasedatmylook;butIwassureImightliftmyfacetohisnow,andnotcoolhisaffebyitsexpression.Itookaplainbutandlightsummerdressfrommydrautiton:itseemednoattirehadeversowellbee,becausenonehadIeverworninsoblissfulamood.
Iwasnotsurprised,whenIrandownintothehall,toseethatabrilliantJunemhadsucceededtothetempestofthenight;andtofeel,throughtheopenglassdoor,thebreathingofafreshandfragrantbreeze.NaturemustbegladsomewhenIwassohappy.Abeggar-womanatleboy—pale,raggedobjectsboth—wereingupthewalk,andIrandownandgavethemallthemoneyIhappeohaveinmypurse—somethreeorfourshillings:goodorbad,theymustpartakeofmyjubilee.Therookscawed,andblitherbirdssang;butnothingwassomerryorsomusicalasmyownrejoigheart.
Mrs.Fairfaxsurprisedmebylookingoutofthewindowwithasadtenandsayinggravely—“MissEyre,willyouetobreakfast?”Duringthemealshewasquietandcool:butIcouldnotundeceiveherthen.Imustwaitformymastertogiveexplanations;andsomustshe.IatewhatIcould,andthenIhastenedupstairs.ImetAdèleleavingtheschoolroom.
“Whereareyougoing?Itistimeforlessons.”
“Mr.Rochesterhassentmeawaytothenursery.”
“Whereishe?”
“Inthere,”pointingtotheapartmentshehadleft;ain,andtherehestood.
“eandbidmegood-m,”saidhe.Igladlyadvanced;anditwasnotmerelyacoldwordnow,orevenashakeofthehandthatIreceived,butanembradakiss.Itseemednatural:itseemedgenialtobesowellloved,socaressedbyhim.
“Jane,youlookblooming,andsmiling,ay,”saidhe:“trulyprettythism.Isthismypale,littleelf?Isthismymustard-seed?Thislittlesunny-facedgirlwiththedimpledcheekandrosylips;thesatin-smoothhazelhair,andtheradianthazeleyes?”(Ihadgreeneyes,reader;butyoumustexcusethemistake:forhimtheywerenew-dyed,Isuppose.)
“ItisJaneEyre,sir.”
“SoontobeJaneRochester,”headded:“infourweeks,Ja;notadaymore.Doyouhearthat?”
Idid,andIcouldnotquiteprehendit:itmademegiddy.Thefeeling,theannousentthroughme,wassomethingstrohanwassistentwithjoy—somethingthatsmoteandstuwas,Ithinkalmostfear.
“Youblushed,andnowyouarewhite,Jane:whatisthatfor?”
“Becauseyougavemeanewname—JaneRochester;anditseemsse.”
“Yes,Mrs.Rochester,”saidhe;“youngMrs.Rochester—FairfaxRochester’sgirl-bride.”
“Iteverbe,sir;itdoesnotsoundlikely.Humanbeingsneverenjoypletehappinessinthisworld.Iwasnotbornforadiffereinytotherestofmyspecies:toimaginesuchalotbefallingmeisafairytale—aday-dream.”
“WhichIdwillrealise.Ishallbeginto-day.ThismIwrotetomybankerinLondontoseainjewelshehasinhiskeeping,—heirloomsfortheladiesofThornfield.InadayortwoIhopetopourthemintoyourlap:foreveryprivilege,everyattentionshallbeyoursthatIwouldaccordapeer’sdaughter,ifabouttomarryher.”
“Oh,sir!—neverrainjewels!Idon’tliketohearthemspokenof.JewelsforJaneEyresoundsunnaturalandstrange:Iwouldrathernothavethem.”
“Iwillmyselfputthediamondroundyournedthecircletonyourforehead,—whichitwillbee:fornature,atleast,hasstampedherpatentofnobilityonthisbrow,Jane;andIwillclaspthebraceletsonthesefinewrists,andloadthesefairy-likefingerswithrings.”
“No,no,sir!thinkofothersubjects,andspeakofotherthings,andinarain.Don’taddressmeasifIwereabeauty;Iamyourplain,Quakerishgoverness.”
“Youareabeautyinmyeyes,ayjustafterthedesireofmyheart,—delicateandaerial.”
“Punyandinsignifit,youmean.Youaredreaming,sir,—oryouaresneering.Fod’ssakedon’tbeironical!”
“Iwillmaketheworldaowledgeyouabeauty,too,”hewenton,whileIreallybecameuneasyatthestrainhehadadopted,becauseIfelthewaseitherdeludinghimselftodeludeme.“IwillattiremyJaneinsatinandladsheshallhaverosesinherhair;andIwillcovertheheadIlovebestricelessveil.”
“Andthenyouwon’tknowme,sir;andIshallnotbeyourJaneEyreanylonger,butanapeinaharlequin’sjacket—ajayinborrowedplumes.Iwouldassoonseeyou,Mr.Rochester,trickedoutinstage-trappings,asmyselfcladinacourt-lady’srobe;andIdon’tcallyouhandsome,sir,thoughIloveyoumostdearly:fartoodearlytoflatteryou.Don’tflatterme.”
Hepursuedhistheme,however,withoutnotigmydeprecation.“ThisverydayIshalltakeyouinthecarriagetoMillcote,andyoumustchoosesomedressesforyourself.Itoldyouweshallbemarriedinfourweeks.Theweddingistotakeplacequietly,inthechurchdownbelowyonder;andthenIshallwaftyouawayatoown.Afterabriefstaythere,Ishallbearmytreasuretionshesun:toFreneyardsandItalianplains;andsheshallseewhateverisfamousinoldstoryandinmodernrecord:sheshalltaste,too,ofthelifeofcities;andsheshalllearntovalueherselfbyjustparisonwithothers.”
“ShallItravel?—andwithyou,sir?”
“YoushallsojournatParis,Rome,andFlorence,VenidVienna:allthegroundIhavewanderedovershallbere-troddenbyyou:whereverIstampedmyhoof,yoursylph’sfootshallstepalso.Tenyearssince,IflewthroughEuropehalfmad;withdisgust,hate,andrageasmypanions:nowIshallrevisitithealedandsed,withaveryangelasmyforter.”
Ilaughedathimashesaidthis.“Iamnotanangel,”Iasserted;“andIwillillIdie:Iwillbemyself.Mr.Rochester,youmustherexpeorexaythiialofme—foryouwill,anymorethanIshallgetitofyou:whichIdonotatallanticipate.”
“Whatdoyouanticipateofme?”
“Foralittlewhileyouwillperhapsbeasyouarenow,—averylittlewhile;andthenyouwillturncool;andthenyouwillbecapricious;andthenyouwillbestern,andIshallhavemuchadotopleaseyou:butwhenyougetwellusedtome,youwillperhapslikemeagain,—likeme,Isay,notloveme.Isupposeyourlovewilleffervessixmonths,orless.Ihaveobservedinbookswrittehatperiodassighefarthesttowhichahusband’sardourextends.Yet,afterall,asafriendandpanion,Ihopeobeequitedistastefultomydearmaster.”
“Distasteful!andlikeyouagain!IthinkIshalllikeyouagain,aagain:andIwillmakeyoufessIdonotonlylike,butloveyou—withtruth,fervour,stancy.”
“Yetareyounotcapricious,sir?”
“Towomenwhopleasemeonlybytheirfaces,IamtheverydevilwhenIfindouttheyhavehersoulss—whentheyopentomeaperspectiveofflatriviality,andperhapsimbecility,coarseness,andill-temper:buttothecleareyeandeloquenttohesoulmadeoffire,andthecharacterthatbendsbutdoesnotbreak—atoncesuppleandstable,tractableandsistent—Iamevertenderandtrue.”
“Hadyoueverexperienceofsuchacharacter,sir?Didyoueverlovesuone?”
“Iloveitnow.”
“Butbeforeme:ifI,indeed,inanyrespeeuptoyourdifficultstandard?”
“Iyourlikeness.Jane,youpleaseme,andyoumasterme—youseemtosubmit,andIlikethesenseofplianpart;andwhileIamtwini,silkenskeinroundmyfisendsathrillupmyarmtomyheart.Iaminfluenced—quered;andtheinfluenceissweeterthanIexpress;andthequestIundergohasawitcherybeyondanytriumphIwin.Whydoyousmile,Jane?Whatdoesthatinexplicable,thatunyturnoftenancemean?”
“Iwasthinking,sir(youwillexcusetheidea;itwasinvoluntary),IwasthinkingofHerculesandSamsonwiththeircharmers—”
“Youwere,youlittleelfish—”
“Hush,sir!Youdon’ttalkverywiselyjustnow;anymorethanthosegentlemenactedverywisely.However,hadtheybeenmarried,theywouldnodoubtbytheirseverityashusbandshavemadeupfortheirsoftnessassuitors;andsowillyou,Ifear.Iwonderhowyouwillanswermeayearhence,shouldIaskafavouritdoesnotsuityourvenienceorpleasuretogrant.”
“Askmesomethingnow,Jaheleastthing:Idesiretobeeed—”
“IndeedIwill,sir;Ihavemypetitionallready.”
“Speak!Butifyoulookupandsmilewiththattenance,IshallswearcessionbeforeIknowtowhat,andthatwillmakeafoolofme.”
“Notatall,sir;Iaskonlythis:don’tsendforthejewels,anddon’tewithroses:youmightaswellputaboldlaceroundthatplainpockethandkerchiefyouhavethere.”
“Imightaswell‘gildrefinedgold.’Iknowit:yourequestisgrahen—forthetime.IwillremandtheorderIdespatchedtomybanker.Butyouhaveaskedforanything;youhaveprayedagifttobewithdrawn:tryagain.”
“Wellthen,sir,havethegoodogratifymycuriosity,whichismuchpiquedononepoint.”
Helookeddisturbed.“What?what?”hesaidhastily.“Curiosityisadangerouspetition:itiswellIhavenottakenavowtoaccordeveryrequest—”
“Buttherebenodangerinplyingwiththis,sir.”
“Utterit,JaIwishthatinsteadofamereinquiryinto,perhaps,asecret,itwasawishforhalfmyestate.”
“Now,KingAhasuerus!WhatdoIwantwithhalfyourestate?DoyouthinkIamaJew-usurer,seekinggoodimentinland?Iwouldmuchratherhaveallyourfidence.Youwillnotexcludemefromyourfidenceifyouadmitmetoyourheart?”
“Youareweletoallmyfideisworthhaving,Jafod’ssake,don’tdesireauselessburden!Don’tlongforpoison—don’tturnoutadhtEveonmyhands!”
“Whynot,sir?Youhavejustbeentellingmehowmuchyoulikedtobequered,andhowpleasantover-persuasionistoyou.Don’tyouthinkIhadbettertakeadvahefession,andbeginandcoaxareat—evendbesulkyifnecessary—forthesakeofamereessayofmypower?”
“Idareyoutoanysuchexperiment.Encroach,presume,andthegameisup.”
“Isit,sir?Yousoongivein.Howsternyoulooknow!Youreyebrowshavebeeasthickasmyfinger,andyourforeheadresembleswhat,insomeveryastonishiry,Ioncesawstyled,‘ablue-piledthunderloft.’Thatwillbeyourmarriedlook,sir,Isuppose?”
“Ifthatwillbeyourmarriedlook,I,asaChristian,willsoohenotionofswithamerespriteorsalamander.Butwhathadyoutoask,thing,—outwithit?”
“There,youarelessthancivilnow;andIlikerudenessagreatdealbetterthanflattery.IhadratherbeathingthanahisiswhatIhavetoask,—WhydidyoutakesuchpainstomakemebelieveyouwishedtomarryMissIngram?”
“Isthatall?ThankGoditisnoworse!”Andnowheunknithisblackbrows;lookeddown,smilingatme,andstrokedmyhair,asifwellpleasedatseeingadangeraverted.“IthinkImayfess,”hetinued,“evenalthoughIshouldmakeyoualittleindignant,Jane—andIhaveseenwhatafire-spirityoubewhenyouareindignant.Youglowedintheoonlightlastnight,whenyoumutiniedagainstfate,andclaimedyourrankasmyequal.Ja,by-the-bye,itwasyouwhomademetheoffer.”
“OfcourseIdid.Buttothepointifyouplease,sir—MissIngram?”
“Well,IfeignedcourtshipofMissIngram,becauseIwishedtorenderyouasmadlyihmeasIwaswithyou;andIknewjealousywouldbethebestallyIcouldcallinforthefurtherahatend.”
“Excellent!Nowyouaresmall—notobiggerthantheendofmylittlefiwasaburningshameandasdalousdisgracetoathatway.DidyouthinknothingofMissIngram’sfeelings,sir?”
“Herfeelingsaretratedinone—pride;andthatneedshumbling.Wereyoujealous,Jane?”
“Nevermind,Mr.Rochester:itisinnowayiingtoyoutoknowthat.Arulyoncemore.DoyouthinkMissIngramwillnotsufferfromyourdishocoquetry?Won’tshefeelforsakenaed?”
“Impossible!—whenItoldyouhowshe,orary,desertedme:theideaofmyinsolvencycooled,orratherextinguished,herflameinamoment.”
“Youhaveacurious,designingmind,Mr.Rochester.Iamafraidyourprinciplesonsomepointsareetric.”
“Myprincipleswererained,Jaheymayhavegrownalittleawryforwantofattention.”
“Onceagain,seriously;mayIenjoythegreatgoodthathasbeenvouchsafedtome,withoutfearingthatanyoneelseissufferierpainImyselffeltawhileago?”
“Thatyoumay,mygoodlittlegirl:thereisnotanotherbeingintheworldhasthesamepureloveformeasyourself—forIlaythatpleasantunysoul,Jane,abeliefinyouraffe.”
Iturnedmylipstothehandthatlayonmyshoulder.Ilovedhimverymuch—morethanIcouldtrustmyselftosay—morethanwordshadpowertoexpress.
“Asksomethingmore,”hesaidpresently;“itismydelighttobeeed,andtoyield.”
Iwasagainreadywithmyrequest.“unicateyouriionstoMrs.Fairfax,sir:shesawmewithyoulastnightinthehall,andshewasshocked.GivehersomeexplanationbeforeIseeheragain.Itpaiobemisjudgedbysogoodawoman.”
“Gotoyourroom,andputonyourbo,”hereplied.“ImeanyoutoapaoMillcotethism;andwhileyouprepareforthedrive,Iwillenlightentheoldlady’suanding.Didshethink,Ja,youhadgiventheworldforlove,andsidereditwelllost?”
“IbelieveshethoughtIhadfottenmystation,andyours,sir.”
“Station!station!—yourstationisi,andonthenecksofthosewhowouldinsultyou,noworhereafter.—Go.”
Iwassoondressed;andwhenIheardMr.RochesterquitMrs.Fairfax’sparlour,Ihurrieddowntoit.Theoldlady,hadbeenreadinghermportionofScripture—theLessonfortheday;herBiblelayopenbeforeher,andherspectacleswereuponit.Heroccupation,suspendedbyMr.Rochester’sannou,seemednotten:hereyes,fixedontheblankposite,expressedthesurpriseofaquietmindstirredbyunwoidings.Seeingme,sherousedherself:shemadeasortofefforttosmile,andframedafewwordsofgratulation;butthesmileexpired,aencewasabandonedunfinished.Sheputupherspectacles,shuttheBible,andpushedherchairbathetable.
“Ifeelsoastonished,”shebegan,“Ihardlyknowwhattosaytoyou,MissEyre.Ihavesurelynotbeendreaming,haveI?SometimesIhalffallasleepwhenIamsittingaloneandfancythingsthathaveneverhappehasseemedtomemorethanoncewhenIhavebeeninadoze,thatmydearhusband,whodiedfifteenyearssince,haseinandsatdownbesideme;andthatIhaveevenheardhimcallmebymyname,Alice,asheusedtodo.Now,youtellmewhetheritisactuallytruethatMr.Rochesterhasaskedyoutomarryhim?Don’tlaughatme.ButIreallythoughthecameinherefiveminutesago,andsaidthatinamonthyouwouldbehiswife.”
“Hehassaidthesamethingtome,”Ireplied.
“Hehas!Doyoubelievehim?Haveyouacceptedhim?”
“Yes.”
Shelookedatmebewildered.“Icouldneverhavethoughtit.Heisaproudman:alltheRochesterswereproud:andhisfather,atleast,likedmoney.He,too,hasalwaysbeencalledcareful.Hemeanstomarryyou?”
“Hetellsmeso.”
Shesurveyedmywholeperson:inhereyesIreadthattheyhadtherefoundnocharmpowerfulenoughtosolvetheenigma.
“Itpassesme!”shetinued;“butnodoubt,itistruesinceyousayso.Howitwillanswer,Iottell:Ireallydon’tknow.Equalityofpositionandfortuneisoftenadvisableinsuchcases;andtherearetwentyyearsofdifferenyes.Hemightalmostbeyourfather.”
“No,indeed,Mrs.Fairfax!”exclaimedI,led;“heisnothinglikemyfather!Noone,whosawustogether,wouldsupposeitforaninstant.Mr.Rochesterlooksasyoung,andisasyoung,assomemenatfive-and-twenty.”
“Isitreallyforloveheisgoingtomarryyou?”sheasked.
Iwassohurtbyheressaicism,thatthetearsrosetomyeyes.
“Iamsrieveyou,”pursuedthewidow;“butyouaresoyoung,andsolittleacquaihmen,Iwishedtoputyouonyuard.Itisanoldsayingthat‘allisnotgoldthatglitters;’andinthiscaseIdofeartherewillbesomethingfoundtobedifferenttowhateitheryouorIexpect.”
“Why?—amIamonster?”Isaid:“isitimpossiblethatMr.Rochestershouldhaveasincereaffeforme?”
“No:youareverywell;andmuchimprovedoflate;andMr.Rochester,Idaresay,isfondofyou.Ihavealwaysnoticedthatyouwereasortofpetofhis.Therearetimeswhen,foryoursake,Ihavebeenalittleuneasyathismarkedpreferendhavewishedtoputyouonyuard:butIdidnotliketosuggesteventhepossibility.Iknewsuideawouldshock,perhapsoffendyou;andyouweresodiscreet,andshlymodestandsensible,Ihopedyoumightbetrustedtoprotectyourself.nightIottellyouwhatIsufferedwhenIsoughtalloverthehouse,andcouldfindyounowhere,northemastereither;atwelveo’clock,sawyoueinwithhim.”
“Well,nevermindthatnow,”Iinterruptedimpatiently;“itisenoughthatallwasright.”
“Ihopeallwillberightintheend,”shesaid:“butbelieveme,youotbetoocareful.TryandkeepMr.Rochesteratadistance:distrustyourselfaswellashim.Gentlemeninhisstatioacedtomarrytheirgovernesses.”
Iwasgrowingtrulyirritated:happily,Adèleranin.
“Letmego,—letmegotoMillcotetoo!”shecried.“Mr.Rochesterwon’t:thoughthereissomuinthenewcarriage.Beghimtoletmegomademoiselle.”
“ThatIwill,Adèle;”andIhastenedawaywithher,gladtoquitmygloomymohecarriagewasready:theywerebringingitroundtothefront,andmymasterwasthepavement,Pilotfollowinghimbackwardsandforwards.
“Adèlemayapanyus,mayshenot,sir?”
“Itoldherno.I’llhavenobrats!—I’llhaveonlyyou.”
“Dolethergo,Mr.Rochester,ifyouplease:itwouldbebetter.”
“Notit:shewillbearestraint.”
Hewasquiteperemptory,bothinlookandvoice.ThechillofMrs.Fairfax’swarnings,andthedampofherdoubtswereuponme:somethingofunsubstantialityanduaintyhadbesetmyhopes.Ihalflostthesenseofpoweroverhim.Iwasaboutmeicallytoobeyhim,withoutfurtherremonstraashehelpedmeintothecarriage,helookedatmyface.
“Whatisthematter?”heasked;“allthesunshineisgone.Doyoureallywishthebairntogo?Willitannoyyouifsheisleftbehind?”
“Iwouldfarrathershewent,sir.”
“Thenoffforyourbo,andbacklikeaflashoflightning!”criedhetoAdèle.
Sheobeyedhimwitheedshemight.
“Afterall,asinglem’sinterruptionwillnotmattermuch,”saidhe,“whenImeanshortlytoclaimyou—yourthoughts,versation,andpany—forlife.”
Adèle,whenliftedin,encedkissingme,bywayofexpressinghergratitudeformyintercession:shewasinstantlystowedawayintoaerohersideofhim.ShethenpeepedroundtowhereIsat;sosternaneighbourwastoorestrictivetohim,inhispresentfraood,shedaredwhispernoobservations,noraskofhimanyinformation.
“Letheretome,”Ieed:“shewill,perhaps,troubleyou,sir:thereisplentyofroomonthisside.”
Hehandedheroverasifshehadbeenalapdog.“I’llseoschoolyet,”hesaid,butnowhewassmiling.
Adèleheardhim,andaskedifshewastogotoschool“sansmademoiselle?”
“Yes,”hereplied,“absolutelysansmademoiselle;forIamtotakemademoiselletothemoon,andthereIshallseekacaveihewhitevalleysamongthevolo-tops,andmademoiselleshalllivewithmethere,andonlyme.”
“Shewillhavenothi:youwillstarveher,”observedAdèle.
“Ishallgathermannaforhermandnight:theplainsandhillsidesinthemoonarebleachedwithmanna,Adèle.”
“Shewillwanttowarmherself:whatwillshedoforafire?”
“Firerisesoutofthelunarmountains:whensheiscold,I’llcarryheruptoapeak,andlayherdownontheedgeofacrater.”
“Oh,qu’elleyseramal—peufortable!Andherclothes,theywillwearout:howshegetnewones?”
Mr.Rochesterprofessedtobepuzzled.“Hem!”saidhe.“Whatwouldyoudo,Adèle?Cudgelyourbrainsforanexpedient.Howwouldawhiteorapinkcloudanswerfown,doyouthink?Andonecouldcutaprettyenoughscarfoutofarainbow.”
“Sheisfarbetterassheis,”cludedAdèle,aftermusingsometime:“besides,shewouldgettiredoflivingwithonlyyouinthemoon.IfIweremademoiselle,Iwouldneversenttogowithyou.”
“Shehassented:shehaspledgedherword.”
“Butyou’tgetherthere;thereisnoroadtothemoon:itisallair;aheryounorshefly.”
“Adèle,lookatthatfield.”WewerenowoutsideThornfieldgates,andbowlinglightlyalongthesmoothroadtoMillcote,wherethedustwaswelllaidbythethuorm,and,wherethelowhedgesandloftytimbertreesoneachsideglistenedgreenandrain-refreshed.
“Inthatfield,Adèle,Iwaswalkinglateoneeveningaboutafhtsiheeveningofthedayyouhelpedmetomakehayintheorchardmeadows;and,asIwastiredwithrakingswaths,Isatdowmeonastile;aookoutalittlebookandapencil,aowriteaboutamisfortubefellmelongago,andawishIhadforhappydaystoe:Iwaswritingawayveryfast,thoughdaylightwasfadingfromtheleaf,whehingcameupthepathandstoppedtwoyardsoffme.Ilookedatit.Itwasalittlethingwithaveilofgossameronitshead.Ibeedittoenearme;itstoodsoonatmyknee.Ineverspoketoit,anditneverspoketome,inwords;butIreaditseyes,anditreadmine;andourspeechlesscolloquywastothiseffect—
“Itwasafairy,andefromElf-land,itsaid;anditserrandwastomakemehappy:Imustgowithitoutoftheonworldtoalonelyplace—suchasthemoon,forinstanditsheadtowardsherhorn,risingoverHay-hill:ittoldmeofthealabastercaveandsilvervalewherewemightlive.IsaidIshouldliketogo;butremi,asyoudidme,thatIhadnowingstofly.
“‘Oh,’returhefairy,‘thatdoesnotsignify!Hereisatalismanwillremovealldifficulties;’andsheheldoutaprettyg.‘Putit,’shesaid,‘onthefourthfingerofmylefthand,andIamyours,andyouaremine;andweshallleaveearth,andmakeourownheavenyonder.’Shenoddedagainatthemoon.Thering,Adèle,isinmybreeches-pocket,uhedisguiseofasn:butImeansoontogeittagain.”
“Butwhathasmademoiselletodowithit?Idon’tcareforthefairy:yousaiditwasmademoiselleyouwouldtaketothemoon?”
“Mademoiselleisafairy,”hesaid,whisperingmysteriously.WhereuponItoldhernottomindhisbadinage;andshe,onherpart,evincedafundofgenuineFrenchscepticism:denominatingMr.Rochester“unvraimenteur,”andassuringhimthatshemadenoatwhateverofhis“tesdefee,”andthat“dureste,iln’yavaitpasdefées,etquandmemeilyenavait:”shewassuretheywouldneverappeartohim,norevergivehimrings,oroffertolivewithhiminthemoon.
ThehourspentatMillcotewasasomewhatharassiome.Mr.Rochesterobligedmetogotoacertainsilkwarehouse:thereIwasorderedtochoosehalf-a-dozendresses.Ihatedthebusiness,Ibeggedleavetodeferit:no—itshouldbegohroughwithnow.Bydireatiesexpressediicwhispers,Ireducedthehalf-dozentotwo:thesehowever,hevowedhewouldselecthimself.WithayIwatchedhiseyeroveaystores:hefixedonarichsilkofthemostbrilliahystdye,andasuperbpinksatin.Itoldhiminanewseriesofwhispers,thathemightaswellbuymeagoldgownandasilverboonce:Ishouldcertainlyneverveowearhischoice.Withinfinitedifficulty,forhewasstubbornasastone,Ipersuadedhimtomakeanexgeinfavourofasoberblacksatinandpearl-greysilk.“Itmightpassforthepresent,”hesaid;“buthewouldyetseemeglitteringlikeaparterre.”
GladwasItogethimoutofthesilkwarehouse,aofajewellersshop:themoreheboughtme,themoremycheekburhasenseofannoyanddegradation.Aswere-ehecarriage,andIsatbackfeverishandfagged,Irememberedwhat,inthehurryofevents,darkandbright,Ihadwhollyfotteerofmyuncle,JohoMrs.Reed:hisiiontoadoptmeandmakemehislegatee.“Itwould,indeed,bearelief,”Ithought,“ifIhadeversosmallanindependeneverbearbeingdressedlikeadollbyMr.Rochester,orsittinglikeasedDahthegoldenshowerfallingdailyroundme.IwillwritetoMadeirathemomehome,andtellmyuncleJohnIamgoingtobemarried,andtowhom:ifIhadbutaprospectofonedaybringingMr.Rochesteranaccessionoffortune,Icouldbettereobekeptbyhimnow.”Andsomewhatrelievedbythisidea(whichIfailednottoexecutethatday),Iventuredoncemoretomeetmymaster’sandlover’seye,whichmostpertinaciouslysoughtmihoughIavertedbothfadgaze.Hesmiled;andIthoughthissmilewassuchasasultanmight,inablissfulandfondmomeowonaslavehisgoldandgemshadenriched:Icrushedhishand,whichwaseverhuntingmine,vigorously,andthrustitbaredwiththepassionatepressure.
“Youlookinthatway,”Isaid;“ifyoudo,I’llwearnothingbutmyoldLowoodfrockstotheendofthechapter.I’llbemarriedinthislilagham:youmaymakeadressing-gownforyourselfoutofthepearl-greysilk,andaninfiniteseriesofwaistcoatsoutoftheblacksatin.”
Hechuckled;herubbedhishands.“Oh,itisrichtoseeandhearher?”heexclaimed.“Issheinal?Isshepiquant?IwouldnotexgethisoleEnglishgirlfrandTurk’swholeseraglio,gazelle-eyes,houriforms,andall!”
TheEasternallusionbitmeagain.“I’llnotstandyouaninthesteadofaseraglio,”Isaid;“sodon’tsidermeanequivalentforone.Ifyouhaveafancyforanythinginthatline,awaywithyou,sir,tothebazaarsofStamboulwithoutdelay,andlayoutiensiveslave-purchasessomeofthatsparecashyouseematalosstospendsatisfactorilyhere.”
“Andwhatwillyoudo,Ja,whileIambargainingforsomanytonsoffleshandsuassortmentofblackeyes?”
“I’llbepreparingmyselftogooutasamissionarytopreachlibertytothemthatareenslaved—yourhareminmatesamongsttherest.I’llgetadmittedthere,an松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读