Chapter 25
Themonthofcourtshiphadwasted:itsverylasthourswerebeingnumbered.Thereuttingoffthedaythatadvahebridalday;andallpreparationsforitsarrivalwereplete.I,atleast,hadnothingmoretodo:thereweremytrunks,packed,locked,corded,rangedinarowalongthewallofmylittlechamber;to-morrow,atthistime,theywouldbefarontheirroadtoLondon:andsoshouldI(D.V.),—orrather,notI,butoneJaneRochester,apersonwhomasyetIk.Thecardsofaddressaloneremaionailon:theylay,fourlittlesquares,inthedrawer.Mr.Rochesterhadhimselfwrittenthedirers.Rochester,—Hotel,London,”oneach:Icouldnotpersuademyselftoaffixthem,ortohavethemaffixed.Mrs.Rochester!Shedid:shewouldnotbeborntillto-morrow,sometimeaftereighto’clocka.m.;andIwouldwaittobeassuredshehadeintotheworldalivebeforeIassigoherallthatproperty.Itwasenoughthatinyondercloset,oppositemydressing-table,garmentssaidtobehershadalreadydisplacedmyblackstuffLowoodfrodstrawbo:fornottomeappertaihatsuitofweddingraiment;thepearl-colouredrobe,thevapouryveilpefromtheusurpedportmanteau.Ishuttheclosettocealthestrange,wraith-likeapparelittained;which,atthiseveninghour—nineo’clock—gaveoutcertainlyamostghostlyshimmerthroughtheshadowofmyapartment.“Iwillleaveyoubyyourself,whitedream,”Isaid.“Iamfeverish:Ihearthewindblowing:Iwillgooutofdoorsa.”
Itwasnotonlythehurryofpreparationthatmademefeverish;notonlytheanticipationofthegreatge—thenewlifewhichwastoeo-morrow:boththesecircumstanceshadtheirshare,doubtless,inprodugthatrestless,excitedmoodwhichhurriedmeforthatthislatehourintothedarkeninggrounds:butathirdcauseinfluencedmymindmorethanthey.
Ihadatheartastrangeandanxiousthought.SomethinghadhappenedwhichIcouldnotprehend;nooneknewoforhadseebutmyself:ithadtakenplacethepregnight.Mr.Rochesterthatnightwasabsentfromhome;norwasheyetreturned:businesshadcalledhimtoasmallestateoftwoorthreefarmshepossessedthirtymilesoff—busiwasrequisiteheshouldsettleinperson,previoustohismeditateddeparturefromEngland.Iwaitednowhisreturn;eagertodisburthenmymind,andtoseekofhimthesolutionoftheenigmathatperplexedme.Staytillhees,reader;and,whenIdisysecrettohim,youshallsharethefidence.
Isoughttheorchard,driventoitsshelterbythewind,whichalldayhadblownstrongandfullfromthesouth,without,however,bringingaspeckofrain.Insteadofsubsidingasnightdrewon,itseemedtoaugmentitsrushanddeepenitsroar:thetreesblewsteadfastlyoneway,neverwrithinground,andscarcelytossingbacktheirboughsonanhour;sotinuouswasthestrainbendingtheirbranchyheadsnorthward—thecloudsdriftedfrompoletopole,fastfollowing,massonmass:noglimpseofblueskyhadbeenvisiblethatJulyday.
ItwasnotwithoutacertainwildpleasureIranbeforethewind,deliveringmytroubleofmindtothemeasurelessair-torrentthunderingthroughspace.Desdingthelaurelwalk,Ifacedthewreckofthechestnut-tree;itstoodupbladriverunk,splitdowre,gaspedghastly.Theclovenhalveswerenotbrokenfromeachother,forthefirmbaseandstrongrootskeptthemunsunderedbelow;thoughunityofvitalitywasdestroyed—thesapcouldflownomore:theirgreatboughsoneachsideweredead,awiempestswouldbesuretofelloneorbothtoearth:asyet,however,theymightbesaidtoformoree—aruin,butaireruin.
“Youdidrighttoholdfasttoeachother,”Isaid:asifthemonster-splinterswerelivingthings,andcouldhearme.“Ithink,scathedasyoulook,andcharredandscorched,theremustbealittlesenseoflifeinyouyet,risingoutofthatadhesionatthefaithful,horoots:youwillneverhavegreenleavesmore—nevermoreseebirdsmakisandsingingidylsinyhs;thetimeofpleasureandloveisoverwithyou:butyouarenotdesolate:eachofyouhasaradetosympathisewithhiminhisdecay.”AsIlookedupatthem,themoonappearedmomentarilyinthatpartoftheskywhichfilledtheirfissure;herdiskwasblood-redandhalfovercast;sheseemedtothrowonmeonebewildered,drearyglandburiedherselfagaininstantlyinthedeepdriftofcloud.Thewindfell,forased,roundThornfield;butfarawayoverwoodandwater,pouredawild,melancholywail:itwassadtolistento,andIranoffagain.
HereandthereIstrayedthroughtheorchard,gathereduptheappleswithwhichthegrassroureerootswasthicklystrewn;thenIemployedmyselfindividingtheripefromtheunripe;Icarriedthemintothehouseandputthemawayiore-room.ThenIrepairedtothelibrarytoascertaiherthefirewaslit,for,thoughsummer,IknewonsuchagloomyeveningMr.Rochesterwouldliketoseeacheerfulhearthwhenhecameihefirehadbeenkindledsometime,andburntwell.Iplacedhisarm-chairbytheey-er:Iwheeledthetable:Iletdowain,andhadthedlesbroughtinreadyfhting.Morerestlessthanever,whenIhadpletedthesearrasIcouldnotsitstill,norevenremaininthehouse:alittletime-pietheroomandtheoldclothehallsimultaneouslystru.
“Howlateitgrows!”Isaid.“Iwillrundowntothegates:itismoonlightatintervals;Iseeagoodwayontheroad.Hemaybeingnow,andtomeethimwillsavesomeminutesofsuspense.”
Thewindroaredhighinthegreattreeswhichemboweredthegates;buttheroadasfarasIcouldsee,ththanda,wasallstillandsolitary:savefortheshadowsofcloudscrossingitatintervalsasthemoonlookedout,itwasbutalongpaleline,unvariedbyonemovingspeck.
ApuerileteardimmedmyeyewhileIlooked—atearofdisappoiandimpatience;ashamedofit,Iwipeditaway.Ilihemoonshutherselfwhollywithinherchamber,anddrewclosehercurtainofdensecloud:thenightgrewdark;raincamedrivingfastonthegale.
“Iwishhewoulde!Iwishhewoulde!”Iexclaimed,seizedwithhypodriacforeboding.Ihadexpectedhisarrivalbeforetea;nowitwasdark:whatcouldkeephim?Hadanacthappeheeventoflastnightagainrecurredtome.Iinterpreteditasawarningofdisaster.Ifearedmyhopeswerethttoberealised;andIhadenjoyedsomuchblisslatelythatIimaginedmyfortunehadpasseditsmeridian,andmustnowdee.
“Well,Iotreturntothehouse,”Ithought;“Iotsitbythefireside,whileheisabroadiniweather:bettertiremylimbsthanstrai;Iwillgoforwardahim.”
Isetout;Iwalkedfast,butnotfar:ereIhadmeasuredaquarterofamile,Iheardthetrampofhoofs;ahorsemancameon,fullgallop;adogranbyhisside.Awaywithevilprese!Itwashe:herehewas,mountedonMesrour,followedbyPilot.Hesawme;forthemoonhadopenedabluefieldinthesky,androdeinitwaterybright:hetookhishatoff,andwaveditroundhishead.Inowrahim.
“There!”heexclaimed,ashestretchedouthishandafromthesaddle:“You’tdowithoutme,thatisevident.Steponmyboot-toe;givemebothhands:mount!”
Iobeyed:joymademeagile:Isprangupbeforehim.AheartykissingIgotforawele,andsomeboastfultriumph,whichIswallowedaswellasIcould.Hecheckedhimselfiationtodemand,“Butisthereanythier,Jahatyouetomeetmeatsuhour?Isthereanythingwrong?”
“No,butIthoughtyouwouldnevere.Icouldowaitinthehouseforyou,especiallywiththisrainandwind.”
“Rainandwind,indeed!Yes,youaredrippinglikeamermaid;pullmycloakroundyou:butIthinkyouarefeverish,Jahyourcheekandhandareburninghot.Iaskagain,isthereanythier?
“Nothingnow;Iamherafraidnorunhappy.”
“Thenyouhavebeenboth?”
“Rather:butI’lltellyouallaboutitby-and-bye,sir;andIdaresayyouwillonlylaughatmeformypains.”
“I’lllaughatyouheartilywhento-morrowispast;tillthenIdarenot:myprizeisain.Thisisyou,whohavebeenasslipperyasahislastmonth,andasthornyasabriar-rose?IcouldnotlayafingeranywherebutIricked;andnowIseemtohavegatheredupastraylambinmyarms.Youwaofthefoldtoseekyourshepherd,didyou,Jane?”
“Iwantedyou:butdon’tboast.HereweareatThornfield:megetdown.”
Helandedmeonthepavement.AsJohntookhishorse,andhefollowedmeintothehall,hetoldmetomakehasteandputsomethingdryon,aurntohiminthelibrary;aoppedme,asImadeforthestaircase,toextortapromisethatIwouldnotbelong:norwasIlong;infiveminutesIrejoinedhim.Ifoundhimatsupper.
“Takeaseatandbearmepany,Jane:pleaseGod,itisthelastmealbutoneyouwilleatatThornfieldHallforalongtime.”
Isatdownnearhim,buttoldhimIcould.“Isitbecauseyouhavetheprospectofajourneybeforeyou,Jane?IsitthethoughtsofgoingtoLondonthattakesawayyourappetite?”
“Iotseemyprospectsclearlyto-night,sir;andIhardlyknowwhatthoughtsIhaveinmyhead.Everythinginlifeseemsunreal.”
“Exceptme:Iamsubstantialenough—touchme.”
“You,sir,arethemostphantom-likeofall:youareameredream.”
Heheldouthishand,laughing.“Isthatadream?”saidhe,plagitclosetomyeyes.Hehadarounded,muscular,andvigoroushand,aswellasalong,strongarm.
“Yes;thoughItouchit,itisadream,”saidI,asIputitdownfrombeforemyface.“Sir,haveyoufinishedsupper?”
“Yes,Jane.”
Irangthebellandorderedawaythetray.ereagainaloirredthefire,aookalowseatatmymaster’sknee.
“Itisnearmidnight,”Isaid.
“Yes:butremember,Jane,youpromisedtowakewithmethenightbeforemywedding.”
“Idid;andIwillkeepmypromise,foranhourortwoatleast:Ihavenowishtogotobed.”
“Areallyementsplete?”
“All,sir.”
“Andonmypartlikewise,”hereturned,“Ihavesettledeverything;andweshallleaveThoro-morrow,withinhalf-an-hourafterourreturnfromchurch.”
“Verywell,sir.”
“Withwhataraordinarysmileyouutteredthatword—‘verywell,’Jane!Whatabrightspotofcolouryouhaveoneachcheek!andhelyyoureyesglitter!Areyouwell?”
“IbelieveIam.”
“Believe!Whatisthematter?Tellmewhatyoufeel.”
“Icouldnot,sir:nowordscouldtellyouwhatIfeel.Iwishthispresenthourwouldneverend:whoknohatfatethemayecharged?”
“Thisishypodria,Jane.Youhavebeenover-excited,orover-fatigued.”
“Doyou,sir,feelcalmandhappy?”
“Calm?—no:buthappy—totheheart’score.”
Ilookedupathimtoreadthesignsofblissinhisface:itwasardentandflushed.
“Givemeyourfidence,Jane,”hesaid:“relieveyourmindofathatoppressesit,byimpartingittome.Whatdoyoufear?—thatIshallnotproveagoodhusband?”
“Itistheideafarthestfrommythoughts.”
“Areyouapprehehenewsphereyouareabouttoenter?—ofthenewlifeintowhichyouarepassing?”
“No.”
“Youpuzzleme,Jane:yourlookandtoneofsorrowfulaudacityperplexandpainme.Ilanation.”
“Then,sir,listen.Youwerefromhomelastnight?”
“Iwas:Iknowthat;andyouhintedawhileagoatsomethingwhichhadhappenedinmyabsenothing,probably,ofseque,inshort,ithasdisturbedyou.Letmehearit.Mrs.Fairfaxhassaidsomething,perhaps?oryouhaveoverheardtheservantstalk?—yoursensitiveself-respecthasbeenwounded?”
“No,sir.”Itstrucktwelve—Iwaitedtillthetime-piecehadcludeditssilverchime,andtheclockitshoarse,vibrittingstroke,andthenIproceeded.
“AlldayyesterdayIwasverybusy,andveryhappyinmyceaselessbustle;forIamnot,asyouseemtothink,troubledbyanyhauntingfearsaboutthenewsphere,etcetera:Ithinkitagloriousthingtohavethehopeoflivingwithyou,becauseIloveyou.No,sir,don’tcaressmenow—letmetalkundisturbed.YesterdayItrustedwellinProvidendbelievedthateventswerewtogetherforyoodandmiwasafineday,ifyourecollect—theessoftheairandskyforbadeapprehensionsrespegyoursafetyorfortonyourjourney.Iwalkedalittlewhileonthepavementaftertea,thinkingofyou;andIbeheldyouinimaginationsonearme,Iscarcelymissedyouractualpresehoughtofthelifethatlaybeforeme—yourlife,sir—aencemoreexpansiveandstirringthanmyown:asmuchmoresoasthedepthsoftheseatowhichthebrookruhantheshallowsofitsownstraitel.Iwonderedwhymoralistscallthisworldadrearywilderness:formeitblossomedlikearose.Justatsuheairturnedcoldandtheskycloudy:Iwentin,Sophiecalledmeupstairstolookatmywedding-dress,whichtheyhadjustbrought;anduintheboxIfoundyourpresent—theveilwhiyourprincelyextravagance,yousentforfromLondon:resolved,Isuppose,sinceIwouldnothavejewels,tocheatmeintoacceptingsomethingascostly.IsmiledasIunfoldedit,anddevisedhowIwouldteaseyouaboutyouraristocratictastes,andyoureffortstomasqueyourplebeianbrideiributesofapeeress.IthoughhowIwouldcarrydowntoyouthesquareofunembroideredblondIhadmyselfpreparedasacformylow-bornhead,andaskifthatwasnotgoodenoughforawomanwhocouldbringherhusbaherfortuy,nores.Isawplainlyhowyouwouldlook;andheardyourimpetuousrepubliswers,andyhtydisavowalofanyyonyourparttoaugmentyourwealth,orelevateyourstanding,bymarryiherapurseoraet.”
“Howwellyoureadme,youwitch!”interposedMr.Rochester:“butwhatdidyoufindintheveilbesidesitsembroidery?Didyoufindpoisger,thatyoulooksomournfulnow?”
“No,no,sir;besidesthedelicadriessofthefabric,IfoundnothingsaveFairfaxRochester’spride;andthatdidnotscareme,becauseIamusedtothesightofthedemon.But,sir,asitgrewdark,thewindrose:itblewyesterdayevening,notasitbloildandhigh—but‘withasullen,moaningsound’farmoreeerie.Iwishedyouwereathome.Icameintothisroom,andthesightoftheemptychairandfirelesshearthchilledme.ForsometimeafterIwenttobed,Icouldnotsleep—asenseofanxiousexcitementdistressedme.Thegalestillrising,seemedtomyeartomuffleamournfulunder-sound;whetherinthehouseorabroadIcouldnotatfirsttell,butitrecurred,doubtfulyetdolefulateverylull;atlastImadeoutitmustbesomedoghowlingatadistance.Iwasgladwhenitceased.Onsleeping,Itinuediheideaofadarkandgustynight.Itinuedalsothewishtobewithyou,andexperierange,regretfulsciousnessofsomebarrierdividingus.Duringallmyfirstsleep,Iwasfollowingthewindingsofanunknownroad;totalobscurityenvironedme;raiedme;Iwasburdehthechargeofalittlechild:averysmallcreature,tooyoungaowalk,andwhichshiveredinmycoldarms,andwailedpiteouslyinmyear.Ithought,sir,thatyouwereontheroadalongwaybeforeme;andIstrainedeveryoovertakeyou,andmadeeffortonefforttoutteryournameareatyoutostop—butmymovementswerefettered,andmyvoicestilldiedawayinarticulate;whileyou,Ifelt,withdrewfartherandfarthereverymoment.”
“Andthesedreamsweighonyourspiritsnow,Jane,whenIamclosetoyou?Littlenervoussubject!Fetvisionarywoe,andthinkonlyofrealhappiness!Yousayyouloveme,Ja:yes—Iwillnetthat;andyouotdenyit.thosewordsdidnotdieinarticulateonyourlips.Iheardthemclearandsoft:athoughttoosolemnperhaps,butsweetasmusic—‘Ithinkitisagloriousthingtohavethehopeoflivingwithyou,Edward,becauseIloveyou.’Doyouloveme,Jane?—repeatit.”
“Ido,sir—Ido,withmywholeheart.”
“Well,”hesaid,aftersomeminutes’sileisstrathatsentencehaspeedbybreastpainfully.Why?Ithinkbecauseyousaiditwithsuear,religiousenergy,andbecauseyourupwardgazeatmenowistheverysublimeoffaith,truth,aion:itistoomuchasifsomespiritwerenearme.Lookwicked,Jane:asyouknowwellhowtolook:oneofyourwild,shy,provokingsmiles;tellmeyouhateme—teaseme,vexme;doanythingbutmoveme:Iwouldratherbeinsedthansaddened.”
“Iwillteaseyouandvexyoutoyourheart’stent,whenIhavefiale:buthearmetotheend.”
“Ithought,Jane,youhadtoldmeall.IthoughtIhadfoundthesourceofyourmelancholyinadream.”
Ishookmyhead.“What!istheremore?ButIwillnotbelieveittobeanythingimportant.Iwarnyouofincredulitybeforehand.Goon.”
Thedisquietudeofhisair,thesomerehensiveimpatienceofhismanner,surprisedme:butIproceeded.
“Idreamtanotherdream,sir:thatThornfieldHallwasadrearyruireatofbatsandowls.Ithoughtthatofallthestatelyfrontnothingremaiashell-likewall,veryhighandveryfragile-looking.Iwandered,onamoonlightnight,throughthegrass-grownenclosurewithin:hereIstumbledoveramarblehearth,andthereoverafallenfragmentofice.edupinashawl,Istillcarriedtheunknownlittlechild:Imightnotlayitdownanywhere,howevertiredweremyarms—howevermuchitsweightimpededmyprogress,Imustretainit.Iheardthegallopofahorseatadistaheroad;Iwassureitwasyou;andyouweredepartingformanyyearsandforadistanttry.Iclimbedthethinwallwithfranticperiloushaste,eagertocateglimpseofyoufromthetop:thestonesrolledfromundermyfeet,theivybranchesIgraspedgaveway,thechildgroundmyneterror,andalmoststrangledme;atlastIgaihesummit.Isawyoulikeaspeawhitetrack,lesseningeverymoment.TheblastblewsIcouldnotstand.Isatdownonthenarrowledge;Ihushedthescaredinfantinmylap:youturnedanaheroad:Ibentforwardtotakealastlook;thewallcrumbled;Iwasshaken;thechildrolledfrommyknee,Ilostmybalance,fell,andwoke.”
“Now,Jahatisall.”
“Allthepreface,sir;thetaleisyettoe.Onwaking,agleamdazzledmyeyes;Ithought—Oh,itisdaylight!ButIwasmistaken;itwasonlydlelight.Sophie,Isupposed,hadein.Therewasalightinthedressing-table,andthedoorofthecloset,where,befoingtobed,Ihadhungmywedding-dressandveil,stoodopen;Iheardarustlingthere.Iasked,‘Sophie,whatareyoudoing?’Nooneanswered;butaformemergedfromthecloset;ittookthelight,helditaloft,andsurveyedthegarmentspefromtheportmanteau.‘Sophie!Sophie!’Iagaincried:andstillitwassilent.Ihadrisenupinbed,Ibentforward:firstsurprise,thenbewilderment,e;andthenmybloodcreptcoldthroughmyveins.Mr.Rochester,thiswasnotSophie,itwasnotLeah,itwasnotMrs.Fairfax:itwasnot—no,Iwassureofit,andamstill—itwashatstrangewoman,GracePoole.”
“Itmusthavebeehem,”interruptedmymaster.
“No,sir,Isolemnlyassureyoutothetrary.TheshapestandingbeforemehadnevercrossedmyeyeswithintheprectsofThornfieldHallbefore;theheight,thetourwereome.”
“Describeit,Jane.”
“Itseemed,sir,awoman,tallandlarge,withthiddarkhairhanginglongdownherback.Iknownotwhatdressshehadon:itwaswhiteandstraight;butwhethergow,orshroud,Iottell.”
“Didyouseeherface?”
“Notatfirst.Butpresentlyshetookmyveilfromitsplace;shehelditup,gazedatitlong,andthehrewitoverherownhead,andturhemirror.AtthatmomentIsawtherefleofthevisageauresquitedistinctlyinthedarkoblongglass.”
“Andhowwerethey?”
“Fearfulandghastlytome—oh,sir,Ineversawafacelikeit!Itwasadiscolouredface—itwasasavageface.IwishIcouldfettherolloftheredeyesandthefearfulblaedinflationofthelis!”
“Ghostsareusuallypale,Jane.”
“This,sir,urple:thelipswereswelledanddark;thebrowfurrowed:theblackeyebrowswidelyraisedoverthebloodshoteyes.ShallItellyouofwhatitremindedme?”
“Youmay.”
“OfthefoulGermare—theVampyre.”
“Ah!—whatdiditdo?”
“Sir,itremovedmyveilfromitsgaunthead,rentitintwoparts,andflingingbothonthefloor,trampledonthem.”
“Afterwards?”
“Itdrewasidethewindow-curtainandlookedout;perhapsitsaproag,for,takingthedle,itretreatedtothedoor.Justatmybedside,thefigurestopped:thefieryeyesglareduponme—shethrustupherdleclosetomyfadextinguisheditundermyeyes.Iwasawareherluridvisageflamedovermine,andIlostsciousness:forthesedtimeinmylife—onlythesedtime—Ibecameinsensiblefromterror.”
“ithyouwhenyourevived?”
“Noone,sir,butthebroadday.Irose,bathedmyheadandfawater,drankalht;feltthatthoughenfeebledIwasnotill,aermihattoyouwouldIimpartthisvision.Now,sir,tellmewhoandwhatthatwomanwas?”
“Thecreatureofaimulatedbrain;thatiscertain.Imustbecarefulofyou,mytreasure:nerveslikeyourswerenotmadefhhandling.”
“Sir,dependonit,mynerveswerenotinfault;thethingwasreal:thetransaactuallytookplace.”
“Andyourpreviousdreams,weretheyrealtoo?IsThornfieldHallaruin?AmIseveredfromyoubyinsuperableobstacles?AmIleavingyouwithoutatear—withoutakiss—withoutaword?”
“.”
“AmIabouttodoit?Why,thedayisalreadyencedwhichistobindusindissolubly;andwhenweareoed,thereshallbenorecurrehesementalterruara.”
“Mentalterrors,sir!IwishIcouldbelievethemtobeonlysuch:Iwishitmorenowthanever;sinceevenyouotexplaihemysteryofthatawfulvisitant.”
“AndsinceIotdoit,Jamusthavebeenunreal.”
“But,sir,whenIsaidsotomyselfonrisingthism,andwhenIlookedroundtheroomtogatherceandfortfromthecheerfulaspectofeachfamiliarobjefulldaylight,there—onthecarpet—Isawwhatgavethedistinctlietomyhypothesis,—theveil,tornfromtoptobottomintwohalves!”
IfeltMr.Rochesterstartandshudder;hehastilyflunghisarmsrouhankGod!”heexclaimed,“thatifanythingmalignantdidenearyoulastnight,itwasonlytheveilthatwasharmed.Oh,tothinkwhatmighthavehappened!”
Hedrewhisbreathshort,andstrainedmesoclosetohim,Icouldscarcelypant.Aftersomeminutes’silence,hetinued,cheerily—
“Now,Ja,I’llexplaintoyouallaboutit.Itwashalfdream,halfreality.Awomandid,Idoubteryourroom:andthatwomanwas—musthavebeen—GracePoole.Youcallherastrangebeingyourself:fromallyouknow,youhavereasonsotocallher—whatdidshedotome?whattoMason?Inastatebetweensleepingandwaking,younoticedherentrandheras;butfeverish,almostdeliriousasyouwere,youascribedtoblinappearancedifferentfromherown:thelongdishevelledhair,theswelledblackface,theexaggeratedstature,werefigmentsofimaginatiosofnightmare:thespitefultearingoftheveilwasreal:anditislikeher.IseeyouwouldaskwhyIkeepsuaninmyhouse:whenwehavebeenmarriedayearandaday,Iwilltellyou;butnotnow.Areyousatisfied,Jane?Doyouacceptmysolutionofthemystery?”
Ireflected,andintruthitappearedtometheonlypossibleoisfiedIwasnot,buttopleasehimIendeavouredtoappearso—relieved,Icertainlydidfeel;soIansweredhimwithatentedsmile.Andnow,asitwaslongpastone,Ipreparedtoleavehim.
“DoesnotSophiesleepwithAdèleinthenursery?”heasked,asIlitmydle.
“Yes,sir.”
“AndthereisroomenoughinAdèle’slittlebedforyou.Youmustshareitwithherto-night,Jaisnowohattheiyouhaverelatedshouldmakeyounervous,andIwouldratheryoudidnotsleepalone:promisemetogotothenursery.”
“Ishallbeverygladtodoso,sir.”
“Andfastenthedoorsecurelyontheinside.WakeSophiewhenyougoupstairs,underpretenceofrequestiorouseyouingoodtimeto-morrow;foryoumustbedressedandhavefinishedbreakfastbefht.Andnow,nomoresombrethoughts:chasedullcareaway,Ja.Don’tyouheartowhatsoftwhispersthewindhasfallen?andthereisnomorebeatingofrainagainstthewindow-panes:lookhere”(heliftedupthecurtain)—“itisalovelynight!”
Itwas.Halfheavenureandstaiheclouds,nowtroopingbeforethewind,whichhadshiftedtothewest,werefilingoffeastwardinlong,silveredns.Themoonshonepeacefully.
“Well,”saidMr.Rochester,gazinginquiringlyintomyeyes,“howismyJanow?”
“Thenightisserene,sir;andsoamI.”
“Andyouwillnotdreamofseparationandsorrowto-night;butofhappyloveandblissfulunion.”
Thisprediwasbuthalffulfilled:Ididnotindeeddreamofsorrow,butaslittledidIdreamofjoy;forIneversleptatall.WithlittleAdèleinmyarms,Iwatchedtheslumberofchildhood—sotranquil,sopassionless,soi—andwaitedfortheingday:allmylifewasawakeandastirinmyframe:andassoonasthesunroseIrosetoo.IrememberAdèlegtomeasIlefther:IrememberIkissedherasIloosetlehandsfrommynedIcriedoverherwithstraion,andquittedherbecauseIfearedmysobswouldbreakherstillsoundrepose.Sheseemedtheemblemofmypastlife;andheIwasnowtoarraymyselftomeet,thedread,butadored,typeofmyunknownfutureday.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
Itwasnotonlythehurryofpreparationthatmademefeverish;notonlytheanticipationofthegreatge—thenewlifewhichwastoeo-morrow:boththesecircumstanceshadtheirshare,doubtless,inprodugthatrestless,excitedmoodwhichhurriedmeforthatthislatehourintothedarkeninggrounds:butathirdcauseinfluencedmymindmorethanthey.
Ihadatheartastrangeandanxiousthought.SomethinghadhappenedwhichIcouldnotprehend;nooneknewoforhadseebutmyself:ithadtakenplacethepregnight.Mr.Rochesterthatnightwasabsentfromhome;norwasheyetreturned:businesshadcalledhimtoasmallestateoftwoorthreefarmshepossessedthirtymilesoff—busiwasrequisiteheshouldsettleinperson,previoustohismeditateddeparturefromEngland.Iwaitednowhisreturn;eagertodisburthenmymind,andtoseekofhimthesolutionoftheenigmathatperplexedme.Staytillhees,reader;and,whenIdisysecrettohim,youshallsharethefidence.
Isoughttheorchard,driventoitsshelterbythewind,whichalldayhadblownstrongandfullfromthesouth,without,however,bringingaspeckofrain.Insteadofsubsidingasnightdrewon,itseemedtoaugmentitsrushanddeepenitsroar:thetreesblewsteadfastlyoneway,neverwrithinground,andscarcelytossingbacktheirboughsonanhour;sotinuouswasthestrainbendingtheirbranchyheadsnorthward—thecloudsdriftedfrompoletopole,fastfollowing,massonmass:noglimpseofblueskyhadbeenvisiblethatJulyday.
ItwasnotwithoutacertainwildpleasureIranbeforethewind,deliveringmytroubleofmindtothemeasurelessair-torrentthunderingthroughspace.Desdingthelaurelwalk,Ifacedthewreckofthechestnut-tree;itstoodupbladriverunk,splitdowre,gaspedghastly.Theclovenhalveswerenotbrokenfromeachother,forthefirmbaseandstrongrootskeptthemunsunderedbelow;thoughunityofvitalitywasdestroyed—thesapcouldflownomore:theirgreatboughsoneachsideweredead,awiempestswouldbesuretofelloneorbothtoearth:asyet,however,theymightbesaidtoformoree—aruin,butaireruin.
“Youdidrighttoholdfasttoeachother,”Isaid:asifthemonster-splinterswerelivingthings,andcouldhearme.“Ithink,scathedasyoulook,andcharredandscorched,theremustbealittlesenseoflifeinyouyet,risingoutofthatadhesionatthefaithful,horoots:youwillneverhavegreenleavesmore—nevermoreseebirdsmakisandsingingidylsinyhs;thetimeofpleasureandloveisoverwithyou:butyouarenotdesolate:eachofyouhasaradetosympathisewithhiminhisdecay.”AsIlookedupatthem,themoonappearedmomentarilyinthatpartoftheskywhichfilledtheirfissure;herdiskwasblood-redandhalfovercast;sheseemedtothrowonmeonebewildered,drearyglandburiedherselfagaininstantlyinthedeepdriftofcloud.Thewindfell,forased,roundThornfield;butfarawayoverwoodandwater,pouredawild,melancholywail:itwassadtolistento,andIranoffagain.
HereandthereIstrayedthroughtheorchard,gathereduptheappleswithwhichthegrassroureerootswasthicklystrewn;thenIemployedmyselfindividingtheripefromtheunripe;Icarriedthemintothehouseandputthemawayiore-room.ThenIrepairedtothelibrarytoascertaiherthefirewaslit,for,thoughsummer,IknewonsuchagloomyeveningMr.Rochesterwouldliketoseeacheerfulhearthwhenhecameihefirehadbeenkindledsometime,andburntwell.Iplacedhisarm-chairbytheey-er:Iwheeledthetable:Iletdowain,andhadthedlesbroughtinreadyfhting.Morerestlessthanever,whenIhadpletedthesearrasIcouldnotsitstill,norevenremaininthehouse:alittletime-pietheroomandtheoldclothehallsimultaneouslystru.
“Howlateitgrows!”Isaid.“Iwillrundowntothegates:itismoonlightatintervals;Iseeagoodwayontheroad.Hemaybeingnow,andtomeethimwillsavesomeminutesofsuspense.”
Thewindroaredhighinthegreattreeswhichemboweredthegates;buttheroadasfarasIcouldsee,ththanda,wasallstillandsolitary:savefortheshadowsofcloudscrossingitatintervalsasthemoonlookedout,itwasbutalongpaleline,unvariedbyonemovingspeck.
ApuerileteardimmedmyeyewhileIlooked—atearofdisappoiandimpatience;ashamedofit,Iwipeditaway.Ilihemoonshutherselfwhollywithinherchamber,anddrewclosehercurtainofdensecloud:thenightgrewdark;raincamedrivingfastonthegale.
“Iwishhewoulde!Iwishhewoulde!”Iexclaimed,seizedwithhypodriacforeboding.Ihadexpectedhisarrivalbeforetea;nowitwasdark:whatcouldkeephim?Hadanacthappeheeventoflastnightagainrecurredtome.Iinterpreteditasawarningofdisaster.Ifearedmyhopeswerethttoberealised;andIhadenjoyedsomuchblisslatelythatIimaginedmyfortunehadpasseditsmeridian,andmustnowdee.
“Well,Iotreturntothehouse,”Ithought;“Iotsitbythefireside,whileheisabroadiniweather:bettertiremylimbsthanstrai;Iwillgoforwardahim.”
Isetout;Iwalkedfast,butnotfar:ereIhadmeasuredaquarterofamile,Iheardthetrampofhoofs;ahorsemancameon,fullgallop;adogranbyhisside.Awaywithevilprese!Itwashe:herehewas,mountedonMesrour,followedbyPilot.Hesawme;forthemoonhadopenedabluefieldinthesky,androdeinitwaterybright:hetookhishatoff,andwaveditroundhishead.Inowrahim.
“There!”heexclaimed,ashestretchedouthishandafromthesaddle:“You’tdowithoutme,thatisevident.Steponmyboot-toe;givemebothhands:mount!”
Iobeyed:joymademeagile:Isprangupbeforehim.AheartykissingIgotforawele,andsomeboastfultriumph,whichIswallowedaswellasIcould.Hecheckedhimselfiationtodemand,“Butisthereanythier,Jahatyouetomeetmeatsuhour?Isthereanythingwrong?”
“No,butIthoughtyouwouldnevere.Icouldowaitinthehouseforyou,especiallywiththisrainandwind.”
“Rainandwind,indeed!Yes,youaredrippinglikeamermaid;pullmycloakroundyou:butIthinkyouarefeverish,Jahyourcheekandhandareburninghot.Iaskagain,isthereanythier?
“Nothingnow;Iamherafraidnorunhappy.”
“Thenyouhavebeenboth?”
“Rather:butI’lltellyouallaboutitby-and-bye,sir;andIdaresayyouwillonlylaughatmeformypains.”
“I’lllaughatyouheartilywhento-morrowispast;tillthenIdarenot:myprizeisain.Thisisyou,whohavebeenasslipperyasahislastmonth,andasthornyasabriar-rose?IcouldnotlayafingeranywherebutIricked;andnowIseemtohavegatheredupastraylambinmyarms.Youwaofthefoldtoseekyourshepherd,didyou,Jane?”
“Iwantedyou:butdon’tboast.HereweareatThornfield:megetdown.”
Helandedmeonthepavement.AsJohntookhishorse,andhefollowedmeintothehall,hetoldmetomakehasteandputsomethingdryon,aurntohiminthelibrary;aoppedme,asImadeforthestaircase,toextortapromisethatIwouldnotbelong:norwasIlong;infiveminutesIrejoinedhim.Ifoundhimatsupper.
“Takeaseatandbearmepany,Jane:pleaseGod,itisthelastmealbutoneyouwilleatatThornfieldHallforalongtime.”
Isatdownnearhim,buttoldhimIcould.“Isitbecauseyouhavetheprospectofajourneybeforeyou,Jane?IsitthethoughtsofgoingtoLondonthattakesawayyourappetite?”
“Iotseemyprospectsclearlyto-night,sir;andIhardlyknowwhatthoughtsIhaveinmyhead.Everythinginlifeseemsunreal.”
“Exceptme:Iamsubstantialenough—touchme.”
“You,sir,arethemostphantom-likeofall:youareameredream.”
Heheldouthishand,laughing.“Isthatadream?”saidhe,plagitclosetomyeyes.Hehadarounded,muscular,andvigoroushand,aswellasalong,strongarm.
“Yes;thoughItouchit,itisadream,”saidI,asIputitdownfrombeforemyface.“Sir,haveyoufinishedsupper?”
“Yes,Jane.”
Irangthebellandorderedawaythetray.ereagainaloirredthefire,aookalowseatatmymaster’sknee.
“Itisnearmidnight,”Isaid.
“Yes:butremember,Jane,youpromisedtowakewithmethenightbeforemywedding.”
“Idid;andIwillkeepmypromise,foranhourortwoatleast:Ihavenowishtogotobed.”
“Areallyementsplete?”
“All,sir.”
“Andonmypartlikewise,”hereturned,“Ihavesettledeverything;andweshallleaveThoro-morrow,withinhalf-an-hourafterourreturnfromchurch.”
“Verywell,sir.”
“Withwhataraordinarysmileyouutteredthatword—‘verywell,’Jane!Whatabrightspotofcolouryouhaveoneachcheek!andhelyyoureyesglitter!Areyouwell?”
“IbelieveIam.”
“Believe!Whatisthematter?Tellmewhatyoufeel.”
“Icouldnot,sir:nowordscouldtellyouwhatIfeel.Iwishthispresenthourwouldneverend:whoknohatfatethemayecharged?”
“Thisishypodria,Jane.Youhavebeenover-excited,orover-fatigued.”
“Doyou,sir,feelcalmandhappy?”
“Calm?—no:buthappy—totheheart’score.”
Ilookedupathimtoreadthesignsofblissinhisface:itwasardentandflushed.
“Givemeyourfidence,Jane,”hesaid:“relieveyourmindofathatoppressesit,byimpartingittome.Whatdoyoufear?—thatIshallnotproveagoodhusband?”
“Itistheideafarthestfrommythoughts.”
“Areyouapprehehenewsphereyouareabouttoenter?—ofthenewlifeintowhichyouarepassing?”
“No.”
“Youpuzzleme,Jane:yourlookandtoneofsorrowfulaudacityperplexandpainme.Ilanation.”
“Then,sir,listen.Youwerefromhomelastnight?”
“Iwas:Iknowthat;andyouhintedawhileagoatsomethingwhichhadhappenedinmyabsenothing,probably,ofseque,inshort,ithasdisturbedyou.Letmehearit.Mrs.Fairfaxhassaidsomething,perhaps?oryouhaveoverheardtheservantstalk?—yoursensitiveself-respecthasbeenwounded?”
“No,sir.”Itstrucktwelve—Iwaitedtillthetime-piecehadcludeditssilverchime,andtheclockitshoarse,vibrittingstroke,andthenIproceeded.
“AlldayyesterdayIwasverybusy,andveryhappyinmyceaselessbustle;forIamnot,asyouseemtothink,troubledbyanyhauntingfearsaboutthenewsphere,etcetera:Ithinkitagloriousthingtohavethehopeoflivingwithyou,becauseIloveyou.No,sir,don’tcaressmenow—letmetalkundisturbed.YesterdayItrustedwellinProvidendbelievedthateventswerewtogetherforyoodandmiwasafineday,ifyourecollect—theessoftheairandskyforbadeapprehensionsrespegyoursafetyorfortonyourjourney.Iwalkedalittlewhileonthepavementaftertea,thinkingofyou;andIbeheldyouinimaginationsonearme,Iscarcelymissedyouractualpresehoughtofthelifethatlaybeforeme—yourlife,sir—aencemoreexpansiveandstirringthanmyown:asmuchmoresoasthedepthsoftheseatowhichthebrookruhantheshallowsofitsownstraitel.Iwonderedwhymoralistscallthisworldadrearywilderness:formeitblossomedlikearose.Justatsuheairturnedcoldandtheskycloudy:Iwentin,Sophiecalledmeupstairstolookatmywedding-dress,whichtheyhadjustbrought;anduintheboxIfoundyourpresent—theveilwhiyourprincelyextravagance,yousentforfromLondon:resolved,Isuppose,sinceIwouldnothavejewels,tocheatmeintoacceptingsomethingascostly.IsmiledasIunfoldedit,anddevisedhowIwouldteaseyouaboutyouraristocratictastes,andyoureffortstomasqueyourplebeianbrideiributesofapeeress.IthoughhowIwouldcarrydowntoyouthesquareofunembroideredblondIhadmyselfpreparedasacformylow-bornhead,andaskifthatwasnotgoodenoughforawomanwhocouldbringherhusbaherfortuy,nores.Isawplainlyhowyouwouldlook;andheardyourimpetuousrepubliswers,andyhtydisavowalofanyyonyourparttoaugmentyourwealth,orelevateyourstanding,bymarryiherapurseoraet.”
“Howwellyoureadme,youwitch!”interposedMr.Rochester:“butwhatdidyoufindintheveilbesidesitsembroidery?Didyoufindpoisger,thatyoulooksomournfulnow?”
“No,no,sir;besidesthedelicadriessofthefabric,IfoundnothingsaveFairfaxRochester’spride;andthatdidnotscareme,becauseIamusedtothesightofthedemon.But,sir,asitgrewdark,thewindrose:itblewyesterdayevening,notasitbloildandhigh—but‘withasullen,moaningsound’farmoreeerie.Iwishedyouwereathome.Icameintothisroom,andthesightoftheemptychairandfirelesshearthchilledme.ForsometimeafterIwenttobed,Icouldnotsleep—asenseofanxiousexcitementdistressedme.Thegalestillrising,seemedtomyeartomuffleamournfulunder-sound;whetherinthehouseorabroadIcouldnotatfirsttell,butitrecurred,doubtfulyetdolefulateverylull;atlastImadeoutitmustbesomedoghowlingatadistance.Iwasgladwhenitceased.Onsleeping,Itinuediheideaofadarkandgustynight.Itinuedalsothewishtobewithyou,andexperierange,regretfulsciousnessofsomebarrierdividingus.Duringallmyfirstsleep,Iwasfollowingthewindingsofanunknownroad;totalobscurityenvironedme;raiedme;Iwasburdehthechargeofalittlechild:averysmallcreature,tooyoungaowalk,andwhichshiveredinmycoldarms,andwailedpiteouslyinmyear.Ithought,sir,thatyouwereontheroadalongwaybeforeme;andIstrainedeveryoovertakeyou,andmadeeffortonefforttoutteryournameareatyoutostop—butmymovementswerefettered,andmyvoicestilldiedawayinarticulate;whileyou,Ifelt,withdrewfartherandfarthereverymoment.”
“Andthesedreamsweighonyourspiritsnow,Jane,whenIamclosetoyou?Littlenervoussubject!Fetvisionarywoe,andthinkonlyofrealhappiness!Yousayyouloveme,Ja:yes—Iwillnetthat;andyouotdenyit.thosewordsdidnotdieinarticulateonyourlips.Iheardthemclearandsoft:athoughttoosolemnperhaps,butsweetasmusic—‘Ithinkitisagloriousthingtohavethehopeoflivingwithyou,Edward,becauseIloveyou.’Doyouloveme,Jane?—repeatit.”
“Ido,sir—Ido,withmywholeheart.”
“Well,”hesaid,aftersomeminutes’sileisstrathatsentencehaspeedbybreastpainfully.Why?Ithinkbecauseyousaiditwithsuear,religiousenergy,andbecauseyourupwardgazeatmenowistheverysublimeoffaith,truth,aion:itistoomuchasifsomespiritwerenearme.Lookwicked,Jane:asyouknowwellhowtolook:oneofyourwild,shy,provokingsmiles;tellmeyouhateme—teaseme,vexme;doanythingbutmoveme:Iwouldratherbeinsedthansaddened.”
“Iwillteaseyouandvexyoutoyourheart’stent,whenIhavefiale:buthearmetotheend.”
“Ithought,Jane,youhadtoldmeall.IthoughtIhadfoundthesourceofyourmelancholyinadream.”
Ishookmyhead.“What!istheremore?ButIwillnotbelieveittobeanythingimportant.Iwarnyouofincredulitybeforehand.Goon.”
Thedisquietudeofhisair,thesomerehensiveimpatienceofhismanner,surprisedme:butIproceeded.
“Idreamtanotherdream,sir:thatThornfieldHallwasadrearyruireatofbatsandowls.Ithoughtthatofallthestatelyfrontnothingremaiashell-likewall,veryhighandveryfragile-looking.Iwandered,onamoonlightnight,throughthegrass-grownenclosurewithin:hereIstumbledoveramarblehearth,andthereoverafallenfragmentofice.edupinashawl,Istillcarriedtheunknownlittlechild:Imightnotlayitdownanywhere,howevertiredweremyarms—howevermuchitsweightimpededmyprogress,Imustretainit.Iheardthegallopofahorseatadistaheroad;Iwassureitwasyou;andyouweredepartingformanyyearsandforadistanttry.Iclimbedthethinwallwithfranticperiloushaste,eagertocateglimpseofyoufromthetop:thestonesrolledfromundermyfeet,theivybranchesIgraspedgaveway,thechildgroundmyneterror,andalmoststrangledme;atlastIgaihesummit.Isawyoulikeaspeawhitetrack,lesseningeverymoment.TheblastblewsIcouldnotstand.Isatdownonthenarrowledge;Ihushedthescaredinfantinmylap:youturnedanaheroad:Ibentforwardtotakealastlook;thewallcrumbled;Iwasshaken;thechildrolledfrommyknee,Ilostmybalance,fell,andwoke.”
“Now,Jahatisall.”
“Allthepreface,sir;thetaleisyettoe.Onwaking,agleamdazzledmyeyes;Ithought—Oh,itisdaylight!ButIwasmistaken;itwasonlydlelight.Sophie,Isupposed,hadein.Therewasalightinthedressing-table,andthedoorofthecloset,where,befoingtobed,Ihadhungmywedding-dressandveil,stoodopen;Iheardarustlingthere.Iasked,‘Sophie,whatareyoudoing?’Nooneanswered;butaformemergedfromthecloset;ittookthelight,helditaloft,andsurveyedthegarmentspefromtheportmanteau.‘Sophie!Sophie!’Iagaincried:andstillitwassilent.Ihadrisenupinbed,Ibentforward:firstsurprise,thenbewilderment,e;andthenmybloodcreptcoldthroughmyveins.Mr.Rochester,thiswasnotSophie,itwasnotLeah,itwasnotMrs.Fairfax:itwasnot—no,Iwassureofit,andamstill—itwashatstrangewoman,GracePoole.”
“Itmusthavebeehem,”interruptedmymaster.
“No,sir,Isolemnlyassureyoutothetrary.TheshapestandingbeforemehadnevercrossedmyeyeswithintheprectsofThornfieldHallbefore;theheight,thetourwereome.”
“Describeit,Jane.”
“Itseemed,sir,awoman,tallandlarge,withthiddarkhairhanginglongdownherback.Iknownotwhatdressshehadon:itwaswhiteandstraight;butwhethergow,orshroud,Iottell.”
“Didyouseeherface?”
“Notatfirst.Butpresentlyshetookmyveilfromitsplace;shehelditup,gazedatitlong,andthehrewitoverherownhead,andturhemirror.AtthatmomentIsawtherefleofthevisageauresquitedistinctlyinthedarkoblongglass.”
“Andhowwerethey?”
“Fearfulandghastlytome—oh,sir,Ineversawafacelikeit!Itwasadiscolouredface—itwasasavageface.IwishIcouldfettherolloftheredeyesandthefearfulblaedinflationofthelis!”
“Ghostsareusuallypale,Jane.”
“This,sir,urple:thelipswereswelledanddark;thebrowfurrowed:theblackeyebrowswidelyraisedoverthebloodshoteyes.ShallItellyouofwhatitremindedme?”
“Youmay.”
“OfthefoulGermare—theVampyre.”
“Ah!—whatdiditdo?”
“Sir,itremovedmyveilfromitsgaunthead,rentitintwoparts,andflingingbothonthefloor,trampledonthem.”
“Afterwards?”
“Itdrewasidethewindow-curtainandlookedout;perhapsitsaproag,for,takingthedle,itretreatedtothedoor.Justatmybedside,thefigurestopped:thefieryeyesglareduponme—shethrustupherdleclosetomyfadextinguisheditundermyeyes.Iwasawareherluridvisageflamedovermine,andIlostsciousness:forthesedtimeinmylife—onlythesedtime—Ibecameinsensiblefromterror.”
“ithyouwhenyourevived?”
“Noone,sir,butthebroadday.Irose,bathedmyheadandfawater,drankalht;feltthatthoughenfeebledIwasnotill,aermihattoyouwouldIimpartthisvision.Now,sir,tellmewhoandwhatthatwomanwas?”
“Thecreatureofaimulatedbrain;thatiscertain.Imustbecarefulofyou,mytreasure:nerveslikeyourswerenotmadefhhandling.”
“Sir,dependonit,mynerveswerenotinfault;thethingwasreal:thetransaactuallytookplace.”
“Andyourpreviousdreams,weretheyrealtoo?IsThornfieldHallaruin?AmIseveredfromyoubyinsuperableobstacles?AmIleavingyouwithoutatear—withoutakiss—withoutaword?”
“.”
“AmIabouttodoit?Why,thedayisalreadyencedwhichistobindusindissolubly;andwhenweareoed,thereshallbenorecurrehesementalterruara.”
“Mentalterrors,sir!IwishIcouldbelievethemtobeonlysuch:Iwishitmorenowthanever;sinceevenyouotexplaihemysteryofthatawfulvisitant.”
“AndsinceIotdoit,Jamusthavebeenunreal.”
“But,sir,whenIsaidsotomyselfonrisingthism,andwhenIlookedroundtheroomtogatherceandfortfromthecheerfulaspectofeachfamiliarobjefulldaylight,there—onthecarpet—Isawwhatgavethedistinctlietomyhypothesis,—theveil,tornfromtoptobottomintwohalves!”
IfeltMr.Rochesterstartandshudder;hehastilyflunghisarmsrouhankGod!”heexclaimed,“thatifanythingmalignantdidenearyoulastnight,itwasonlytheveilthatwasharmed.Oh,tothinkwhatmighthavehappened!”
Hedrewhisbreathshort,andstrainedmesoclosetohim,Icouldscarcelypant.Aftersomeminutes’silence,hetinued,cheerily—
“Now,Ja,I’llexplaintoyouallaboutit.Itwashalfdream,halfreality.Awomandid,Idoubteryourroom:andthatwomanwas—musthavebeen—GracePoole.Youcallherastrangebeingyourself:fromallyouknow,youhavereasonsotocallher—whatdidshedotome?whattoMason?Inastatebetweensleepingandwaking,younoticedherentrandheras;butfeverish,almostdeliriousasyouwere,youascribedtoblinappearancedifferentfromherown:thelongdishevelledhair,theswelledblackface,theexaggeratedstature,werefigmentsofimaginatiosofnightmare:thespitefultearingoftheveilwasreal:anditislikeher.IseeyouwouldaskwhyIkeepsuaninmyhouse:whenwehavebeenmarriedayearandaday,Iwilltellyou;butnotnow.Areyousatisfied,Jane?Doyouacceptmysolutionofthemystery?”
Ireflected,andintruthitappearedtometheonlypossibleoisfiedIwasnot,buttopleasehimIendeavouredtoappearso—relieved,Icertainlydidfeel;soIansweredhimwithatentedsmile.Andnow,asitwaslongpastone,Ipreparedtoleavehim.
“DoesnotSophiesleepwithAdèleinthenursery?”heasked,asIlitmydle.
“Yes,sir.”
“AndthereisroomenoughinAdèle’slittlebedforyou.Youmustshareitwithherto-night,Jaisnowohattheiyouhaverelatedshouldmakeyounervous,andIwouldratheryoudidnotsleepalone:promisemetogotothenursery.”
“Ishallbeverygladtodoso,sir.”
“Andfastenthedoorsecurelyontheinside.WakeSophiewhenyougoupstairs,underpretenceofrequestiorouseyouingoodtimeto-morrow;foryoumustbedressedandhavefinishedbreakfastbefht.Andnow,nomoresombrethoughts:chasedullcareaway,Ja.Don’tyouheartowhatsoftwhispersthewindhasfallen?andthereisnomorebeatingofrainagainstthewindow-panes:lookhere”(heliftedupthecurtain)—“itisalovelynight!”
Itwas.Halfheavenureandstaiheclouds,nowtroopingbeforethewind,whichhadshiftedtothewest,werefilingoffeastwardinlong,silveredns.Themoonshonepeacefully.
“Well,”saidMr.Rochester,gazinginquiringlyintomyeyes,“howismyJanow?”
“Thenightisserene,sir;andsoamI.”
“Andyouwillnotdreamofseparationandsorrowto-night;butofhappyloveandblissfulunion.”
Thisprediwasbuthalffulfilled:Ididnotindeeddreamofsorrow,butaslittledidIdreamofjoy;forIneversleptatall.WithlittleAdèleinmyarms,Iwatchedtheslumberofchildhood—sotranquil,sopassionless,soi—andwaitedfortheingday:allmylifewasawakeandastirinmyframe:andassoonasthesunroseIrosetoo.IrememberAdèlegtomeasIlefther:IrememberIkissedherasIloosetlehandsfrommynedIcriedoverherwithstraion,andquittedherbecauseIfearedmysobswouldbreakherstillsoundrepose.Sheseemedtheemblemofmypastlife;andheIwasnowtoarraymyselftomeet,thedread,butadored,typeofmyunknownfutureday.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
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