Chapter 31
Myhome,thelastfindahome,—isacottage;alittleroomwithwhitewashedwallsandasandedfloor,tainingfourpaintedchairsandatable,aclock,acupboard,withtwoorthreeplatesanddishes,aea-thingsindelf.Above,achamberofthesamedimensionsasthekit,withadealbedsteadaofdrawers;small,yettetobefilledwithmystywardrobe:thoughthekindnessofmygentleandgenerousfriendshasincreasedthat,byamodeststockofsuchthingsasarenecessary.
Itisevening.Ihavedismissed,withthefeeofane,thelittleorphanwhoservesmeasahandmaid.Iamsittingalohehearth.Thism,thevillageschoolopened.Ihadtwentyscholars.Butthreeofthenumberread:eorcipher.Severalknit,andafewsewalittle.Theyspeakwiththebroadestatofthedistrict.Atpresent,theyandIhaveadifficultyiandingeachother’slanguage.Someofthemareunmannered,rough,intractable,aswellasignorant;butothersaredocile,haveawishtolearn,andevinceadispositionthatpleasesme.Imustnetthatthesecoarsely-cladlittlepeasantsareoffleshandbloodasgoodasthessofgegenealogy;andthatthegermsofnativeexcellence,refi,intelligence,kindfeeling,areaslikelytoexistintheirheartsasinthoseofthebest-born.Mydutywillbetodevelopthesegerms:surelyIshallfindsomehappinessindischargingthatoffice.MujoymentIdonotexpethelifeopeningbeforeme:yetitwill,doubtless,ifIregulatemymind,amypowersasIought,yieldmeenoughtoliveonfromdaytoday.
WasIverygleeful,settled,tent,duringthehoursIpassedinyonderbare,humbleschoolroomthismandafternoon?Nottodeceivemyself,Imustreply—No:Ifeltdesolatetoadegree.Ifelt—yes,idiotthatIam—Ifeltdegraded.IdoubtedIhadtakenastepwhikinsteadofraisihescaleofsocialexistence.Iwasweaklydismayedattheignorahepoverty,thecoarsenessofallIheardandsawrouletmenothateanddespisemyselftoomuchforthesefeelings;Iknowthemt—thatisagreatstepgained;Ishallstrivetooverethem.To-morrow,Itrust,Ishallgetthebetterofthempartially;andinafewweeks,perhaps,theywillbequitesubdued.Inafewmonths,itispossible,thehappinessofseeingprogress,andageforthebetterinmyscholarsmaysubstitutegratificatiust.
Meameaskmyselfoion—Whichisbetter?—Tohavesurreemptation;listeopassion;madenopainfuleffort—nle;—buttohavesunkdowninthesilkensnare;fallenasleepontheflowerscit;wakenedinasouthernclime,amongsttheluxuriesofapleasurevilla:tohavebeennowlivinginFrance,Mr.Rochester’smistress;deliriouswithhislovehalfmytime—forhewould—oh,yes,hewouldhavelovedmewellforawhile.Hedidloveme—noonewilleverlovemesoagain.Ishallnevermoreknowthesweethomagegivey,youth,andgrace—foroanyoneelseshallIseemtopossessthesecharms.Hewasfondandproudofme—itiswhatnomanbesideswilleverbe.—ButwhereamIwandering,andwhatamIsaying,andaboveall,feeling?Whetherisitbetter,Iask,tobeaslaveinafool’sparadiseatMarseilles—feveredwithdelusiveblissonehour—suffogwiththebitteresttearsofremorseandshamethe—ortobeavillage-sistress,freeandho,inabreezymountainnookinthehealthyheartofEngland?
Yes;IfeelnowthatIwasrightwhenIadheredtoprincipleandlaw,andsedandcrushedtheinsanepromptingsofafrenziedmoment.Goddirectedmetoacorrectchoice:IthankHisprovideheguidance!
Havingbroughtmyeventidemusingstothispoint,Irose,wenttomydoor,andlookedatthesuheharvest-day,andatthequietfieldsbeforemycottage,which,withtheschool,wasdistanthalfamilefromthevillage.Thebirdsweresingingtheirlaststrains—
“Theairwasmild,thedewwasbalm.”
WhileIlooked,Ithoughtmyselfhappy,andwassurprisedtofindmyselferelongweeping—andwhy?Forthedoomwhichhadreftmefromadhesiontomymaster:forhimIwasnomoretosee;forthedesperategriefandfatalfury—sequenydeparture—whichmightnow,perhaps,bedragginghimfromthepathht,toofartoleavehopeofultimaterestorationthither.Atthisthought,IturnedmyfaceasidefromthelovelyskyofeveandlonelyvaleofMorton—Isaylonely,forinthatbendofitvisibletometherewasnobuildingapparentsavethechurdtheparsonage,half-hidintrees,and,quiteattheextremity,theroofofValeHall,wheretherichMr.Oliverandhisdaughterlived.Ihidmyeyes,amyheadagainstthestoneframeofmydoor;butsoonaslightnoisehewicketwhichshutinmytinygardenfromthemeadowbeyonditmademelookup.Adog—oldr.Rivers’pointer,asIsawinamoment—ushiewithhisnose,andSt.Johnhimselfleantuponitwithfoldedarms;hisbrowknit,hisgaze,gravealmosttodispleasure,fixedonme.Iaskedhimtoein.
“No,Iotstay;Ihaveonlybroughtyoualittleparcelmysistersleftforyou.Ithinkittainsacolour-box,pencils,andpaper.”
Iapproachedtotakeit:awelegiftitwas.Heexaminedmyface,Ithought,withausterity,asIear:thetracesoftearsweredoubtlessveryvisibleuponit.
“Haveyoufoundyourfirstday’sworkharderthanyouexpected?”heasked.
“Oh,no!Orary,IthinkintimeIshallgetonwithmyscholarsverywell.”
“Butperhapsyouraodations—yourcottage—yourfurniture—havedisappointedyourexpectations?Theyare,intruth,styenough;but—”Iinterrupted—
“Mycottageisaher-proof;myfurnituresuffitandodious.AllIseehasmademethankful,notdespo.Iamnotabsolutelysuchafoolandsensualistastrettheabsenceofacarpet,asofa,andsilverplate;besides,fiveweeksagoIhadnothing—Iwasanoutcast,abeggar,avagrant;nowIhaveacquaintance,ahome,abusiness.IwohegoodnessofGod;thegenerosityofmyfriends;thebountyofmylot.Idonotrepine.”
“Butyoufeelsolitudeanoppressiolehousetherebehindyouisdarkay.”
“Ihavehardlyhadtimeyettoenjoyaseranquillity,muchlesstogrowimpatientunderoneofloneliness.”
“Verywell;Ihopeyoufeelthetentyouexpress:atanyrate,yoodsensewilltellyouthatitistoosoooyieldtothevacillatingfearsofLot’swife.WhatyouhadleftbeforeIsawyou,ofcourseIdonotknow;butIselyoutoresistfirmlyeverytemptationwhichwouldineyoutolookback:pursueyourpresentcareersteadily,forsomemonthsatleast.”
“ItiswhatImeantodo,”Ianswered.St.Johntinued—
“Itishardworktotrolthewsofinationandturofnature;butthatitmaybedone,Iknowfromexperience.Godhasgivenus,inameasure,thepowertomakeourownfate;andwhenourenergiesseemtodemandasusteheyotget—whenourwillstrainsafterapathwemaynotfollow—weneedherstarvefrominanition,norstandstillindespair:wehavebuttoseekanothernourishmentforthemind,asstrongastheforbiddenfooditloaste—andperhapspurer;andtohewoutfortheadventurousfootaroadasdiredbroadastheounehasblockedupagainstus,ifrougherthanit.
“AyearagoIwasmyselfintenselymiserable,becauseIthoughtIhadmadeamistakeieringtheministry:itsuniformdutiesweariedmetodeath.Iburntforthemoreactivelifeoftheworld—forthemoreexgtoilsofaliterarycareer—forthedestinyofanartist,author,orator;anythingratherthanthatofapriest:yes,theheartofapoliti,ofasoldier,ofavlory,aloverofrenown,alusterafterpower,beatundermycurate’ssurplice.Isidered;mylifewassowretched,itmustbeged,orImustdie.Afteraseasonofdarknessandstruggling,lightbrokeandrelieffell:mycrampedexistenceallatoncespreadouttoaplainwithoutbounds—mypowersheardacallfromheaventorise,gathertheirfullstrength,spreadtheirwings,andmountbeyondken.Godhadanerrandforme;tobearwhichafar,todeliveritwell,skillandstrength,ceandeloquehebestqualificationsofsoldier,statesman,andorator,wereallneeded:forthesealltreinthegoodmissionary.
“AmissionaryIresolvedtobe.Fromthatmomentmystateofmindged;thefettersdissolvedanddroppedfromeveryfaculty,leavingnothingofboitsgallingsoreness—whichtimeonlyheal.Myfather,indeed,imposedthedetermination,butsincehisdeath,Ihavenotalegitimateobstacletotendwith;someaffairssettled,asuccessorforMortonprovided,aaortwoofthefeelingsbrokenthroughorcutasunder—alastflictwithhumanweakness,inwhiowIshallovere,becauseIhavevowedthatIwillovere—andIleaveEuropefortheEast.”
Hesaidthis,inhispeculiar,subdued,yetemphaticvoice;looking,whenhehadceasedspeaking,notatme,butatthesettingsun,atwhichIlookedtoo.BothheandIhadourbackstowardsthepathleadingupthefieldtothewicket.Wehadheardhatgrass-growntrack;thewaterrunninginthevalewastheonelullingsoundofthehourandse;wemightwellthenstartwhenagayvoice,sweetasasilverbell,exclaimed—
“Goodevening,Mr.Rivers.Andgoodevening,oldCarlo.Yisquickertnisehisfriendsthanyouare,sir;heprickedhisearsandwaggedhistailwhenIwasatthebottomofthefield,andyouhaveyourbacktowardsmenow.”
Itwastrue.ThoughMr.Rivershadstartedatthefirstofthosemusicalats,asifathunderbolthadsplitacloudoverhishead,hestoodyet,atthecloseofthesentehesameattitudeinwhichthespeakerhadsurprisedhim—hisarmrestingoe,hisfacedirectedtowardsthewest.Heturlast,withmeasureddeliberation.Avision,asitseemedtome,hadrisenathisside.Thereappeared,withinthreefeetofhim,aformcladie—ayouthful,gracefulform:full,yetfineintour;andwhen,afterbendingtocaressCarlo,itliftedupitshead,andthrewbackaloherebloomedunderhisglanceafaceofperfectbeauty.Perfectbeautyisastrongexpression;butIdoraceorqualifyit:assweetfeaturesaseverthetemperateclimeofAlbionmoulded;aspurehuesofroseandlilyaseverherhumidgalesandvapouryskiesgeedandsed,justified,inthisinstaheterm.Nocharmwaswanting,erceptible;theyounggirlhadregularanddelicatelis;eyesshapedandcolouredasweseetheminlovelypictures,large,anddark,andfull;thelongandshadowyeyelashwhicirclesafihsosoftafasation;thepencilledbrowwhichgivessuchclearhewhitesmoothforehead,whichaddssuchreposetothelivelierbeautiesoftintandray;thecheekoval,fresh,andsmooth;thelips,freshtoo,ruddy,healthy,sweetlyformed;theevenandgleamihwithoutflaw;thesmalldimpled;theorofrich,pleresses—alladvantages,inshort,whibined,realisetheidealofbeauty,werefullyhers.Iwondered,asIlookedatthisfaircreature:Iadmiredherwithmywholeheart.Naturehadsurelyformedherinapartialmood;and,fettingherusualstiep-motherdoleofgifts,hadehis,herdarling,withagrand-dame’sbounty.
WhatdidSt.Johhinkofthisearthlyangel?InaturallyaskedmyselfthatquestionasIsawhimturntoherandlookather;and,asnaturally,Isoughttheaheinquiryinhistenance.HehadalreadywithdrawnhiseyefromthePeri,andwaslookingatahumbletuftofdaisieswhichgrewbythewicket.
“Alovelyevening,butlateforyoutobeoutalone,”hesaid,ashecrushedthesnowyheadsoftheclosedflowerswithhisfoot.
“Oh,IonlycamehomefromS-”(shementiohenameofalargetowwentymilesdistant)“thisafternoon.Papatoldmeyouhadopenedyourschool,andthatthenewmistresswase;andsoIputonmyboertea,andranupthevalleytoseeher:thisisshe?”pointingtome.
“Itis,”saidSt.John.
“DoyouthinkyoushalllikeMorton?”sheaskedofme,withadirednaivesimplicityoftoneandmanner,pleasing,ifchild-like.
“IhopeIshall.Ihavemanyistodoso.”
“Didyoufindyourscholarsasattentiveasyouexpected?”
“Quite.”
“Doyoulikeyourhouse?”
“Verymuch.”
“HaveIfurnicely?”
“Verynicely,indeed.”
“AndmadeagoodchoiceofanattendantforyouinAliceWood?”
“Youhaveindeed.Sheisteachableandhandy.”(Thisthen,Ithought,isMissOliver,theheiress;favoured,itseems,isoffortune,aswellasinthoseofnature!pybinationoftheplaspresidedoverherbirth,Iwonder?)
“Ishalleupandhelpyoutoteaetimes,”sheadded.“Itwillbeageformetovisityounowandthen;andIlikeage.Mr.Rivers,IhavebeenSOgayduringmystayatS-.night,orratherthism,Iwasdangtilltwoo’clock.The—thregimeioheresiheriots;andtheofficersarethemostagreeablemenintheworld:theyputallouryoungknife-grindersandsertstoshame.”
ItseemedtomethatMr.St.John’sunderlipprotruded,andhisupperlipcurledamoment.Hismouthcertainlylookedagooddealpressed,andthelowerpartofhisfausuallysternandsquare,asthelaughinggirlgavehimthisinformatioedhisgaze,too,fromthedaisies,andturonher.Anunsmiling,asearg,ameaninggazeitwas.Sheanswereditwithasedlaugh,andlaughterwellbecameheryouth,herroses,herdimples,herbrighteyes.
Ashestood,muteandgrave,sheagaiocaressingCarlo.“PoorCarlolovesme,”saidshe.“Heisnotsternanddistanttohisfriends;andifhecouldspeak,hewouldnotbesilent.”
Asshepattedthedog’shead,bendingwithnativegracebeforehisyoungandausteremaster,Isawaglowrisetothatmaster’sface.Isawhissolemwithsuddenfire,andflickerwithresistlessemotion.Flushedandkihus,helookednearlyasbeautifulforamanassheforawoman.Hischestheavedonce,asifhislargeheart,wearyofdespotistri,hadexpanded,despitethewill,andmadeavigorousboundfortheattaiofliberty.Buthecurbedit,Ithink,asaresoluteriderwouldcurbarearingsteed.Herespondedherbywordnormovementtothegentleadvancesmadehim.
“Papasaysyouneveretoseeusnow,”tinuedMissOliver,lookingup.“YouarequiteastraValeHall.Heisalohisevening,andnotverywell:willyoureturnwithmeandvisithim?”
“ItisnotaseasonablehourtointrudeonMr.Oliver,”answeredSt.John.
“Notaseasonablehour!ButIdeclareitis.Itisjustthehourwhenpapamostwantspany:whentheworksareclosedandhehasnobusiooccupyhim.Now,Mr.Rivers,doe.Whyareyousoveryshy,andsoverysombre?”Shefilledupthehiatushissilebyareplyofherown.
“Ifot!”sheexclaimed,shakingherbeautifulcurledhead,asifshockedatherself.“Iamsogiddyandthoughtless!Doexcuseme.Ithadslippedmymemorythatyouhavegoodreasonstobeindisposedforjoininginmychatter.DianaandMaryhaveleftyou,andMoorHouseisshutup,andyouaresolonely.IamsureIpityyou.Doeandseepapa.”
“Notto-night,MissRosamond,notto-night.”
Mr.St.Johnspokealmostlikeanautomaton:himselfonlykheeffortitcosthimthustorefuse.
“Well,ifyouaresoobstinate,Iwillleaveyou;forIdarenotstayanylohedewbeginstofall.Goodevening!”
Sheheldoutherhatouchedit.“Goodevening!”herepeated,inavoicelowandhollowasanecho.Sheturned,butinamomeurned.
“Areyouwell?”sheasked.Wellmightsheputthequestion:hisfacewasblanchedashergown.
“Quitewell,”heenunciated;and,withabow,heleftthegate.Shewentoneway;heanother.Sheturwicetogazeafterhimasshetrippedfairy-likedownthefield;he,ashestrodefirmlyacross,urall.
Thisspectacleofanother’ssufferingandsacrificeraptmythoughtsfromexclusivemeditationonmyown.DianaRivershaddesignatedherbrother“inexorableasdeath.”Shehadnotexaggerated.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
Itisevening.Ihavedismissed,withthefeeofane,thelittleorphanwhoservesmeasahandmaid.Iamsittingalohehearth.Thism,thevillageschoolopened.Ihadtwentyscholars.Butthreeofthenumberread:eorcipher.Severalknit,andafewsewalittle.Theyspeakwiththebroadestatofthedistrict.Atpresent,theyandIhaveadifficultyiandingeachother’slanguage.Someofthemareunmannered,rough,intractable,aswellasignorant;butothersaredocile,haveawishtolearn,andevinceadispositionthatpleasesme.Imustnetthatthesecoarsely-cladlittlepeasantsareoffleshandbloodasgoodasthessofgegenealogy;andthatthegermsofnativeexcellence,refi,intelligence,kindfeeling,areaslikelytoexistintheirheartsasinthoseofthebest-born.Mydutywillbetodevelopthesegerms:surelyIshallfindsomehappinessindischargingthatoffice.MujoymentIdonotexpethelifeopeningbeforeme:yetitwill,doubtless,ifIregulatemymind,amypowersasIought,yieldmeenoughtoliveonfromdaytoday.
WasIverygleeful,settled,tent,duringthehoursIpassedinyonderbare,humbleschoolroomthismandafternoon?Nottodeceivemyself,Imustreply—No:Ifeltdesolatetoadegree.Ifelt—yes,idiotthatIam—Ifeltdegraded.IdoubtedIhadtakenastepwhikinsteadofraisihescaleofsocialexistence.Iwasweaklydismayedattheignorahepoverty,thecoarsenessofallIheardandsawrouletmenothateanddespisemyselftoomuchforthesefeelings;Iknowthemt—thatisagreatstepgained;Ishallstrivetooverethem.To-morrow,Itrust,Ishallgetthebetterofthempartially;andinafewweeks,perhaps,theywillbequitesubdued.Inafewmonths,itispossible,thehappinessofseeingprogress,andageforthebetterinmyscholarsmaysubstitutegratificatiust.
Meameaskmyselfoion—Whichisbetter?—Tohavesurreemptation;listeopassion;madenopainfuleffort—nle;—buttohavesunkdowninthesilkensnare;fallenasleepontheflowerscit;wakenedinasouthernclime,amongsttheluxuriesofapleasurevilla:tohavebeennowlivinginFrance,Mr.Rochester’smistress;deliriouswithhislovehalfmytime—forhewould—oh,yes,hewouldhavelovedmewellforawhile.Hedidloveme—noonewilleverlovemesoagain.Ishallnevermoreknowthesweethomagegivey,youth,andgrace—foroanyoneelseshallIseemtopossessthesecharms.Hewasfondandproudofme—itiswhatnomanbesideswilleverbe.—ButwhereamIwandering,andwhatamIsaying,andaboveall,feeling?Whetherisitbetter,Iask,tobeaslaveinafool’sparadiseatMarseilles—feveredwithdelusiveblissonehour—suffogwiththebitteresttearsofremorseandshamethe—ortobeavillage-sistress,freeandho,inabreezymountainnookinthehealthyheartofEngland?
Yes;IfeelnowthatIwasrightwhenIadheredtoprincipleandlaw,andsedandcrushedtheinsanepromptingsofafrenziedmoment.Goddirectedmetoacorrectchoice:IthankHisprovideheguidance!
Havingbroughtmyeventidemusingstothispoint,Irose,wenttomydoor,andlookedatthesuheharvest-day,andatthequietfieldsbeforemycottage,which,withtheschool,wasdistanthalfamilefromthevillage.Thebirdsweresingingtheirlaststrains—
“Theairwasmild,thedewwasbalm.”
WhileIlooked,Ithoughtmyselfhappy,andwassurprisedtofindmyselferelongweeping—andwhy?Forthedoomwhichhadreftmefromadhesiontomymaster:forhimIwasnomoretosee;forthedesperategriefandfatalfury—sequenydeparture—whichmightnow,perhaps,bedragginghimfromthepathht,toofartoleavehopeofultimaterestorationthither.Atthisthought,IturnedmyfaceasidefromthelovelyskyofeveandlonelyvaleofMorton—Isaylonely,forinthatbendofitvisibletometherewasnobuildingapparentsavethechurdtheparsonage,half-hidintrees,and,quiteattheextremity,theroofofValeHall,wheretherichMr.Oliverandhisdaughterlived.Ihidmyeyes,amyheadagainstthestoneframeofmydoor;butsoonaslightnoisehewicketwhichshutinmytinygardenfromthemeadowbeyonditmademelookup.Adog—oldr.Rivers’pointer,asIsawinamoment—ushiewithhisnose,andSt.Johnhimselfleantuponitwithfoldedarms;hisbrowknit,hisgaze,gravealmosttodispleasure,fixedonme.Iaskedhimtoein.
“No,Iotstay;Ihaveonlybroughtyoualittleparcelmysistersleftforyou.Ithinkittainsacolour-box,pencils,andpaper.”
Iapproachedtotakeit:awelegiftitwas.Heexaminedmyface,Ithought,withausterity,asIear:thetracesoftearsweredoubtlessveryvisibleuponit.
“Haveyoufoundyourfirstday’sworkharderthanyouexpected?”heasked.
“Oh,no!Orary,IthinkintimeIshallgetonwithmyscholarsverywell.”
“Butperhapsyouraodations—yourcottage—yourfurniture—havedisappointedyourexpectations?Theyare,intruth,styenough;but—”Iinterrupted—
“Mycottageisaher-proof;myfurnituresuffitandodious.AllIseehasmademethankful,notdespo.Iamnotabsolutelysuchafoolandsensualistastrettheabsenceofacarpet,asofa,andsilverplate;besides,fiveweeksagoIhadnothing—Iwasanoutcast,abeggar,avagrant;nowIhaveacquaintance,ahome,abusiness.IwohegoodnessofGod;thegenerosityofmyfriends;thebountyofmylot.Idonotrepine.”
“Butyoufeelsolitudeanoppressiolehousetherebehindyouisdarkay.”
“Ihavehardlyhadtimeyettoenjoyaseranquillity,muchlesstogrowimpatientunderoneofloneliness.”
“Verywell;Ihopeyoufeelthetentyouexpress:atanyrate,yoodsensewilltellyouthatitistoosoooyieldtothevacillatingfearsofLot’swife.WhatyouhadleftbeforeIsawyou,ofcourseIdonotknow;butIselyoutoresistfirmlyeverytemptationwhichwouldineyoutolookback:pursueyourpresentcareersteadily,forsomemonthsatleast.”
“ItiswhatImeantodo,”Ianswered.St.Johntinued—
“Itishardworktotrolthewsofinationandturofnature;butthatitmaybedone,Iknowfromexperience.Godhasgivenus,inameasure,thepowertomakeourownfate;andwhenourenergiesseemtodemandasusteheyotget—whenourwillstrainsafterapathwemaynotfollow—weneedherstarvefrominanition,norstandstillindespair:wehavebuttoseekanothernourishmentforthemind,asstrongastheforbiddenfooditloaste—andperhapspurer;andtohewoutfortheadventurousfootaroadasdiredbroadastheounehasblockedupagainstus,ifrougherthanit.
“AyearagoIwasmyselfintenselymiserable,becauseIthoughtIhadmadeamistakeieringtheministry:itsuniformdutiesweariedmetodeath.Iburntforthemoreactivelifeoftheworld—forthemoreexgtoilsofaliterarycareer—forthedestinyofanartist,author,orator;anythingratherthanthatofapriest:yes,theheartofapoliti,ofasoldier,ofavlory,aloverofrenown,alusterafterpower,beatundermycurate’ssurplice.Isidered;mylifewassowretched,itmustbeged,orImustdie.Afteraseasonofdarknessandstruggling,lightbrokeandrelieffell:mycrampedexistenceallatoncespreadouttoaplainwithoutbounds—mypowersheardacallfromheaventorise,gathertheirfullstrength,spreadtheirwings,andmountbeyondken.Godhadanerrandforme;tobearwhichafar,todeliveritwell,skillandstrength,ceandeloquehebestqualificationsofsoldier,statesman,andorator,wereallneeded:forthesealltreinthegoodmissionary.
“AmissionaryIresolvedtobe.Fromthatmomentmystateofmindged;thefettersdissolvedanddroppedfromeveryfaculty,leavingnothingofboitsgallingsoreness—whichtimeonlyheal.Myfather,indeed,imposedthedetermination,butsincehisdeath,Ihavenotalegitimateobstacletotendwith;someaffairssettled,asuccessorforMortonprovided,aaortwoofthefeelingsbrokenthroughorcutasunder—alastflictwithhumanweakness,inwhiowIshallovere,becauseIhavevowedthatIwillovere—andIleaveEuropefortheEast.”
Hesaidthis,inhispeculiar,subdued,yetemphaticvoice;looking,whenhehadceasedspeaking,notatme,butatthesettingsun,atwhichIlookedtoo.BothheandIhadourbackstowardsthepathleadingupthefieldtothewicket.Wehadheardhatgrass-growntrack;thewaterrunninginthevalewastheonelullingsoundofthehourandse;wemightwellthenstartwhenagayvoice,sweetasasilverbell,exclaimed—
“Goodevening,Mr.Rivers.Andgoodevening,oldCarlo.Yisquickertnisehisfriendsthanyouare,sir;heprickedhisearsandwaggedhistailwhenIwasatthebottomofthefield,andyouhaveyourbacktowardsmenow.”
Itwastrue.ThoughMr.Rivershadstartedatthefirstofthosemusicalats,asifathunderbolthadsplitacloudoverhishead,hestoodyet,atthecloseofthesentehesameattitudeinwhichthespeakerhadsurprisedhim—hisarmrestingoe,hisfacedirectedtowardsthewest.Heturlast,withmeasureddeliberation.Avision,asitseemedtome,hadrisenathisside.Thereappeared,withinthreefeetofhim,aformcladie—ayouthful,gracefulform:full,yetfineintour;andwhen,afterbendingtocaressCarlo,itliftedupitshead,andthrewbackaloherebloomedunderhisglanceafaceofperfectbeauty.Perfectbeautyisastrongexpression;butIdoraceorqualifyit:assweetfeaturesaseverthetemperateclimeofAlbionmoulded;aspurehuesofroseandlilyaseverherhumidgalesandvapouryskiesgeedandsed,justified,inthisinstaheterm.Nocharmwaswanting,erceptible;theyounggirlhadregularanddelicatelis;eyesshapedandcolouredasweseetheminlovelypictures,large,anddark,andfull;thelongandshadowyeyelashwhicirclesafihsosoftafasation;thepencilledbrowwhichgivessuchclearhewhitesmoothforehead,whichaddssuchreposetothelivelierbeautiesoftintandray;thecheekoval,fresh,andsmooth;thelips,freshtoo,ruddy,healthy,sweetlyformed;theevenandgleamihwithoutflaw;thesmalldimpled;theorofrich,pleresses—alladvantages,inshort,whibined,realisetheidealofbeauty,werefullyhers.Iwondered,asIlookedatthisfaircreature:Iadmiredherwithmywholeheart.Naturehadsurelyformedherinapartialmood;and,fettingherusualstiep-motherdoleofgifts,hadehis,herdarling,withagrand-dame’sbounty.
WhatdidSt.Johhinkofthisearthlyangel?InaturallyaskedmyselfthatquestionasIsawhimturntoherandlookather;and,asnaturally,Isoughttheaheinquiryinhistenance.HehadalreadywithdrawnhiseyefromthePeri,andwaslookingatahumbletuftofdaisieswhichgrewbythewicket.
“Alovelyevening,butlateforyoutobeoutalone,”hesaid,ashecrushedthesnowyheadsoftheclosedflowerswithhisfoot.
“Oh,IonlycamehomefromS-”(shementiohenameofalargetowwentymilesdistant)“thisafternoon.Papatoldmeyouhadopenedyourschool,andthatthenewmistresswase;andsoIputonmyboertea,andranupthevalleytoseeher:thisisshe?”pointingtome.
“Itis,”saidSt.John.
“DoyouthinkyoushalllikeMorton?”sheaskedofme,withadirednaivesimplicityoftoneandmanner,pleasing,ifchild-like.
“IhopeIshall.Ihavemanyistodoso.”
“Didyoufindyourscholarsasattentiveasyouexpected?”
“Quite.”
“Doyoulikeyourhouse?”
“Verymuch.”
“HaveIfurnicely?”
“Verynicely,indeed.”
“AndmadeagoodchoiceofanattendantforyouinAliceWood?”
“Youhaveindeed.Sheisteachableandhandy.”(Thisthen,Ithought,isMissOliver,theheiress;favoured,itseems,isoffortune,aswellasinthoseofnature!pybinationoftheplaspresidedoverherbirth,Iwonder?)
“Ishalleupandhelpyoutoteaetimes,”sheadded.“Itwillbeageformetovisityounowandthen;andIlikeage.Mr.Rivers,IhavebeenSOgayduringmystayatS-.night,orratherthism,Iwasdangtilltwoo’clock.The—thregimeioheresiheriots;andtheofficersarethemostagreeablemenintheworld:theyputallouryoungknife-grindersandsertstoshame.”
ItseemedtomethatMr.St.John’sunderlipprotruded,andhisupperlipcurledamoment.Hismouthcertainlylookedagooddealpressed,andthelowerpartofhisfausuallysternandsquare,asthelaughinggirlgavehimthisinformatioedhisgaze,too,fromthedaisies,andturonher.Anunsmiling,asearg,ameaninggazeitwas.Sheanswereditwithasedlaugh,andlaughterwellbecameheryouth,herroses,herdimples,herbrighteyes.
Ashestood,muteandgrave,sheagaiocaressingCarlo.“PoorCarlolovesme,”saidshe.“Heisnotsternanddistanttohisfriends;andifhecouldspeak,hewouldnotbesilent.”
Asshepattedthedog’shead,bendingwithnativegracebeforehisyoungandausteremaster,Isawaglowrisetothatmaster’sface.Isawhissolemwithsuddenfire,andflickerwithresistlessemotion.Flushedandkihus,helookednearlyasbeautifulforamanassheforawoman.Hischestheavedonce,asifhislargeheart,wearyofdespotistri,hadexpanded,despitethewill,andmadeavigorousboundfortheattaiofliberty.Buthecurbedit,Ithink,asaresoluteriderwouldcurbarearingsteed.Herespondedherbywordnormovementtothegentleadvancesmadehim.
“Papasaysyouneveretoseeusnow,”tinuedMissOliver,lookingup.“YouarequiteastraValeHall.Heisalohisevening,andnotverywell:willyoureturnwithmeandvisithim?”
“ItisnotaseasonablehourtointrudeonMr.Oliver,”answeredSt.John.
“Notaseasonablehour!ButIdeclareitis.Itisjustthehourwhenpapamostwantspany:whentheworksareclosedandhehasnobusiooccupyhim.Now,Mr.Rivers,doe.Whyareyousoveryshy,andsoverysombre?”Shefilledupthehiatushissilebyareplyofherown.
“Ifot!”sheexclaimed,shakingherbeautifulcurledhead,asifshockedatherself.“Iamsogiddyandthoughtless!Doexcuseme.Ithadslippedmymemorythatyouhavegoodreasonstobeindisposedforjoininginmychatter.DianaandMaryhaveleftyou,andMoorHouseisshutup,andyouaresolonely.IamsureIpityyou.Doeandseepapa.”
“Notto-night,MissRosamond,notto-night.”
Mr.St.Johnspokealmostlikeanautomaton:himselfonlykheeffortitcosthimthustorefuse.
“Well,ifyouaresoobstinate,Iwillleaveyou;forIdarenotstayanylohedewbeginstofall.Goodevening!”
Sheheldoutherhatouchedit.“Goodevening!”herepeated,inavoicelowandhollowasanecho.Sheturned,butinamomeurned.
“Areyouwell?”sheasked.Wellmightsheputthequestion:hisfacewasblanchedashergown.
“Quitewell,”heenunciated;and,withabow,heleftthegate.Shewentoneway;heanother.Sheturwicetogazeafterhimasshetrippedfairy-likedownthefield;he,ashestrodefirmlyacross,urall.
Thisspectacleofanother’ssufferingandsacrificeraptmythoughtsfromexclusivemeditationonmyown.DianaRivershaddesignatedherbrother“inexorableasdeath.”Shehadnotexaggerated.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
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