Chapter 34
WhenMr.St.Joh,itwasbeginningtosnow;thewhirlingstormtinuedallnight.Thedayakeenwindbroughtfreshandblindingfalls;bytwilightthevalleywasdriftedupandalmostimpassable.Ihadyshutter,laidamattothedoortopreventthesnowfromblowingi,trimmedmyfire,andaftersittingnearlyanhouronthehearthlisteningtothemuffledfuryofthetempest,Ilitadle,tookdown“Marmion,”andbeginning—
“DaysetonNorham’scastledsteep,
AndTweed’sfairriverbroadanddeep,
A’smountainslone;
Themassivetowers,thedonjonkeep,
Theflankingwallsthatroundthemsweep,
Inyellowlustreshone”—
Isootstorminmusic.
Iheardahewind,Ithought,shookthedoor.No;itwasSt.JohnRivers,who,liftich,cameinoutofthefrozenhurrie—thehowlingdarkness—andstoodbeforeme:thecloakthatcoveredhistallfigureallwhiteasaglacier.Iwasalmostinsternation,solittlehadIexpectedafromtheblocked-upvalethatnight.
“Anyillnews?”Idemanded.“Hasanythinghappened?”
“No.Howveryeasilyalarmedyouare?”heanswered,removinghiscloakandhangingitupagainstthedoor,towardswhichheagaincoollypushedthematwhichhisentrancehadderanged.Hestampedthesnowfromhisboots.
“Ishallsullythepurityofyourfloor,”saidhe,“butyoumustexcusemeforohenheapproachedthefire.“Ihavehadhardwethere,Iassureyou,”heobserved,ashewarmedhishandsovertheflame.“Onedrifttookmeuptothewaist;happilythesnowisquitesoftyet.”
“Butwhyareyoue?”Icouldnotforbearsaying.
“Ratheraninhospitablequestiontoputtoavisitor;butsinceyouaskit,Ianswersimplytohavealittletalkwithyou;Igottiredofmymutebooksayrooms.Besides,sierdayIhaveexperieheexcitementofapersontowhomatalehasbeenhalf-told,andwhoisimpatienttohearthesequel.”
Hesatdown.Irecalledhissingularductofyesterday,andreallyIbegantofearhiswitsweretouched.Ifhewereinsane,however,hiswasaverycoolandcollectedinsanity:Ihadneverseenthathandsome-featuredfaceofhislookmorelikechiselledmarblethanitdidjustnoutasidehissnow-wethairfromhisforeheadahefirelightshinefreeonhispalebrowandcheekaspale,whereitgrievedmetodiscoverthehollowtraceofcareorsorrownowsoplainlygraved.Iwaited,expeghewouldsaysomethingIcouldatleastprehend;buthishandwasnowathis,hisfingeronhislip:hewasthinking.Itstruckmethathishandlookedwastedlikehisface.Aperhapsuncalled-fushofpityyheart:Iwasmovedtosay—
“IwishDianaorMarywouldeandlivewithyou:itistoobadthatyoushouldbequitealone;andyouarerecklesslyrashaboutyourowh.”
“Notatall,”saidhe:“Icareformyselfwhennecessary.Iamwellnow.Whatdoyouseeamissinme?”
Thiswassaidwithacareless,abstractedindifference,whichshowedthatmysolicitudewas,atleastinhisopinion,whollysuperfluous.Iwassilenced.
Hestillslowlymovedhisfingeroverhisupperlip,andstillhiseyedweltdreamilyontheglowinggrate;thinkingiturgenttosaysomething,Iaskedhimpresentlyifhefeltanychtfromthedoor,whichwasbehindhim.
“No,no!”herespondedshortlyandsomewhattestily.
“Well,”Ireflected,“ifyouwon’ttalk,youmaybestill;I’llletyoualonenow,aurntomybook.”
SoIshedleandresumedtheperusalof“Marmion.”Hesoonstirred;myeyewasinstantlydrawntohismovements;heonlytookoutamoroccopocket-book,thenceproducedaletter,whichhereadinsilence,foldedit,putitback,relapsediation.Itwasvaintotrytoreadwithsuinscrutablefixturebeforeme;norcouldI,inimpatience,senttobedumb;hemightrebuffmeifmyheliked,buttalkIwould.
“HaveyouheardfromDianaandMarylately?”
“NotsiheletterIshowedyouaweekago.”
“Therehasnotbeenanygemadeaboutyourements?YouwillnotbesummooleaveEnglandsoohanyouexpected?”
“Ifearnot,indeed:suchceistoogoodtobefallme.”Baffledsofar,Igedmyground.Ibethoughtmyselftotalkabouttheschoolandmyscholars.
“MaryGarrett’smotherisbetter,andMarycamebacktotheschoolthism,andIshallhavefirlsweekfromtheFoundryClose—theywouldhaveeto-daybutforthesnow.”
“Indeed!”
“Mr.Oliverpaysfortwo.”
“Doeshe?”
“HemeanstogivethewholeschoolatreatatChristmas.”
“Iknow.”
“Wasityestion?”
“No.”
“Whose,then?”
“Hisdaughter’s,Ithink.”
“Itislikeher:sheissogood-natured.”
“Yes.”
Agaiheblankofapause:theclockstruckeightstrokes.Itarousedhim;heuncrossedhislegs,saterect,turome.
“Leaveyourbookamoment,andealittlehefire,”hesaid.
W,andofmywonderfindingnoend,Iplied.
“Half-an-ho,”hepursued,“Ispokeofmyimpatieohearthesequelofatale:onrefle,Ifierwillbebettermanagedbymyassumingthenarrator’spart,andvertingyouintoalistener.Beforeeng,itisbutfairtowarnyouthatthestorywillsoundsomewhathaeyedinyourears;butstaledetailsoftenregainadegreeoffreshnesswhentheypassthroughnewlips.Fortherest,whethertriteorisshort.
“Twentyyearsago,apoorcurate—nevermindhishismoment—fellihari’sdaughter;shefellihhim,andmarriedhim,againsttheadviceofallherfriends,whosequentlydisownedherimmediatelyafterthewedding.Beforetassed,therashpairwerebothdead,andlaidquietlysidebysideunderoneslab.(Ihaveseentheirgrave;itformedpartofthepavementofahugechurchyardsurroundingthegrim,soot-blackoldcathedralofanrownmanufacturingtownin—shire.)Theyleftadaughter,which,atitsverybirth,Charityreceivedinherlap—coldasthatofthesnow-driftIalmoststuckfastinto-night.Charitycarriedthefriehingtothehouseofitsrichmaterions;itwasrearedbyanaunt-in-law,called(Ietonamesnow)Mrs.ReedofGateshead.Youstart—didyouhearanoise?Idaresayitisonlyaratscramblingaloersoftheadjoiningschoolroom:itwasabarnbeforeIhaditrepairedandaltered,andbarnsaregenerallyhauntedbyrats.—Toproceed.Mrs.Reedkepttheorphantenyears:whetherityornotwithher,Iotsay,neverhaviold;butattheendofthattimeshetransferredittoaplaceyouknow—beingnootherthanLowoodSchool,whereyousolongresidedyourself.Itseemshercareertherewasveryhonourable:fromapupil,shebecameateacher,likeyourself—reallyitstrikesmethereareparallelpointsinherhistoryandyours—sheleftittobeagoverhere,again,yourfateswereanalogous;sheuooktheeducationofthewardofacertainMr.Rochester.”
“Mr.Rivers!”Iinterrupted.
“Iguessyourfeelings,”hesaid,“butrestrainthemforawhile:Ihavenearlyfinished;hearmetotheend.OfMr.Rochester’scharacterIknownothing,buttheothatheprofessedtoofferhonourablemarriagetothisyounggirl,andthatattheveryaltarshediscoveredhehadawifeyetalive,thoughalunatic.Whathissubsequentdudproposalswereisamatterofpurejecture;butwhetranspiredwhideredinquiryafterthegovernessnecessary,itwasdiscoveredshewasgone—noonecouldtellwhen,where,orhow.ShehadleftThornfieldHallinthenight;everyresearchafterhercoursehadbeenvain:thetryhadbeenscouredfarandwide;igeofinformationcouldbegatheredrespegher.Yetthatsheshouldbefoundisbeatterofseriency:advertisementshavebeenputinallthepapers;ImyselfhavereceivedaletterfromoneMr.Briggs,asolicitor,unigthedetailsIhavejustimparted.Isitnotanoddtale?”
“Justtellmethis,”saidI,“andsinceyouknowsomuch,yousurelytellitme—whatofMr.Rochester?Howandwhereishe?Whatishedoing?Ishewell?”
“IamignorantofallingMr.Rochester:theletternevermentionshimbuttonarratethefraudulentandillegalattemptIhaveadvertedto.Youshouldratheraskthehegoverhenatureoftheeventwhichrequiresherappearance.”
“DidoThornfieldHall,then?DidnooneseeMr.Rochester?”
“Isupposenot.”
“Buttheywrotetohim?”
“Ofcourse.”
“Andwhatdidhesay?Whohashisletters?”
“Mr.BriggsintimatesthattheaohisapplicationwasnotfromMr.Rochester,butfromalady:itissigned‘AliceFairfax.’”
Ifeltcoldanddismayed:myworstfearsthenwereprobablytrue:hehadinallprobabilityleftEnglandandrushedinrecklessdesperationtosomeformerhauntoi.Andiateforhisseveresufferings—whatobjectforhisstrongpassions—hadhesoughtthere?Idarednotahequestion.Oh,mypoormaster—oncealmostmyhusband—whomIhadoftencalled“mydearEdward!”
“Hemusthavebeenabadman,”observedMr.Rivers.
“Youdon’tknowhim—don’tpronounopinionuponhim,”Isaid,withwarmth.
“Verywell,”heansweredquietly:“andindeedmyheadisotherwiseoccupiedthanwithhim:Ihavemytaletofinish.Sinceyouwon’taskthegoverness’sname,Imusttellitofmyownaccord.Stay!Ihaveithere—itisalwaysmoresatisfactorytoseeimportantpointswrittendown,fairlyittedtobladwhite.”
Andthepocket-bookwasagaindeliberatelyproduced,opened,soughtthrough;fromospartmentswasextractedashabbyslipofpaper,hastilytornoff:Ireisedinitstextureanditsstainsofultra-marine,andlake,andvermillion,theravishedmarginoftheportrait-cotup,helditclosetomyeyes:araIndianink,inmyownhandwriting,thewords“JANEEYRE”—theworkdoubtlessofsomemomentofabstra.
“BriggswrotetomeofaJaneEyre:”hesaid,“theadvertisementsdemandedaJaneEyre:IknewaJaneElliott.—IfessIhadmysuspis,butitwasoerdayafternoontheywereatonceresolvediainty.Youownthenameandrenouhealias?”
“Yes—yes;butwhereisMr.Briggs?HeperhapsknowsmoreofMr.Rochesterthanyoudo.”
“BriggsisinLondon.IshoulddoubthisknowinganythingatallaboutMr.Rochester;itisnotinMr.Rochesterheisied.Meantime,yetessentialpointsinpursuingtrifles:youdonotinquirewhyMr.Briggssoughtafteryou—whathewahyou.”
“Well,whatdidhewant?”
“Merelytotellyouthatyouruncle,Mr.EyreofMadeira,isdead;thathehasleftyouallhisproperty,andthatyouarenowrich—merelythat—nothingmore.”
“I!—rich?”
“Yes,you,rich—quiteanheiress.”
Silencesucceeded.
“Youmustproveyouridentityofcourse,”resumedSt.Johly:“astepwhichwilloffernodifficulties;youtheeroepossession.YourfortuneisvestedintheEnglishfunds;Briggshasthewillandthenecessarydots.”
Herewasanewcardturnedup!Itisafihing,reader,tobeliftedinamomentfromiowealth—averyfihing;butnotamatteroneprehend,orsequentlyenjoy,allatondthenthereareotherlifefarmorethrillingandrapture-giving:thisissolid,anaffairoftheactualworld,nothingidealaboutit:allitsassociationsaresolidandsober,anditsmaiohesame.Ojump,andspring,andshouthurrah!athearingonehasgotafortune;onebeginstosiderresponsibilities,andtoponderbusiness;onabaseofsteadysatisfarisecertaingravecares,aainourselves,andbloodoverourblisswithasolemnbrow.
Besides,thewordsLegacy,Bequest,gosidebysidewiththewords,Death,Funeral.MyuncleIhadheardwasdead—myoive;eversincebeingmadeawareofhisexistence,Ihadcherishedthehopeofonedayseeinghim:now,Inevershould.Ahismoneycameonlytome:nottomeandarejoigfamily,buttomyisolatedself.Itwasagrandboondoubtless;andindependencewouldbeglorious—yes,Ifeltthat—thatthoughtswelledmyheart.
“Youunbendyourforeheadatlast,”saidMr.Rivers.“IthoughtMedusahadlookedatyou,andthatyouwereturningtostone.Perhapsnowyouwillaskhowmuchyouareworth?”
“HowmuchamIworth?”
“Oh,atrifle!Nothingofcoursetospeakof—twentythousandpounds,Ithinktheysay—butwhatisthat?”
“Twentythousandpounds?”
Herewasaunner—Ihadbeencalculatingonfourorfivethousand.Thisnewsactuallytookmybreathforamoment:Mr.St.John,whomIhadneverheardlaughbefore,laughednow.
“Well,”saidhe,“ifyouhadittedamurder,andIhadtoldyouyourcrimewasdiscovered,youcouldscarcelylohast.”
“Itisalargesum—don’tyouthinkthereisamistake?”
“Nomistakeatall.”
“Perhapsyouhavereadthefigureswrong—itmaybetwothousand!”
“Itiswritteers,notfigures,—twentythousand.”
Iagairatherlikeanindividualofbutaveragegastronomicalpowerssittingdowaloablespreadwithprovisionsforahundred.Mr.Riversrosenouthiscloakon.
“Ifitwerenotsuchaverywildnight,”hesaid,“IwouldsendHannahdowntokeepyoupany:youlooktoodesperatelymiserabletobeleftaloHannah,poorwoman!couldnotstridethedriftssowellasI:herlegsarenotquitesolong:soImuste’enleaveyoutoyoursorrows.Good-night.”
Hewasliftich:asuddenthoughtoccurredtome.“Stoponeminute!”Icried.
“Well?”
“ItpuzzlesmetoknowwhyMr.Briggswrotetoyouaboutme;orhowheknewyou,orcouldfancythatyou,livinginsuout-of-the-lace,hadthepowertoaidinmydiscovery.”
“Oh!Iamaclergyman,”hesaid;“andtheclergyareoftenappealedtoaboutoddmatters.”Agaichrattled.
“No;thatdoesnotsatisfyme!”Iexclaimed:andiherewassomethingiyandunexplanatoryreplywhisteadofallaying,piquedmycuriositymorethanever.
“Itisaverystrangepieceofbusiness,”Iadded;“Imustknowmoreaboutit.”
“Aime.”
“No;to-night!—to-night!”andasheturnedfromthedoor,Iplacedmyselfbetweenitandhim.Helookedratherembarrassed.
“Youcertainlyshallnotgotillyouhavetoldmeall,”Isaid.
“Iwouldrathernotjustnow.”
“Youshall!—youmust!”
“IwouldratherDianaorMaryinformedyou.”
Ofcoursetheseobjeswroughtmyeageroaclimax:gratifieditmustbe,andthatwithoutdelay;andItoldhimso.
“ButIapprisedyouthatIwasahardman,”saidhe,“difficulttopersuade.”
“AndIamahardwoman,—impossibletoputoff.”
“Andthen,”hepursued,“Iamcold:nofervourisme.”
“WhereasIamhot,andfiredissolvesice.Theblazetherehasthawedallthesnowfromyourcloak;bythesametoken,ithasstreamedontomyfloor,andmadeitlikeatrampledstreet.Asyouhopeevertobefiven,Mr.Rivers,thehighcrimeandmisdemeanourofspoilingasa,tellmewhatIwishtoknow.”
“Well,then,”hesaid,“Iyield;ifnottoyourearoyourperseverance:asstoneiswornbytinualdropping.Besides,youmustknowsomeday,—aswellnowaslater.YournameisJaneEyre?”
“Ofcourse:thatwasallsettledbefore.”
“Youarenot,perhaps,awarethatIamyournamesake?—thatIwaschriste.JohnEyreRivers?”
“No,indeed!IremembernowseeierE.prisedinyourinitialswritteninbooksyouhaveatdifferenttimesleIneveraskedforwhatood.Butwhatthen?Surely—”
Istopped:Icouldnottrustmyselftoeain,muchlesstoexpress,thethoughtthatrushedupohatembodieditself,—that,inased,stoodoutastrong,solidprobability.Circumstanitthemselves,fittedthemselves,shotintoorder:thethathadbeenlyinghithertoaformlesslumpoflinkswasdrawnoutstraight,—everyringerfect,theeplete.Iknew,byinstinct,howthematterstood,beforeSt.Johnhadsaidanotherword;butIotexpectthereadertohavethesameintuitiveperception,soImustrepeathisexplanation.
“Mymother’snamewasEyre;shehadtwobrothers;oneaclergyman,whomarriedMissJaneReed,ofGateshead;theother,JohnEyre,Esq.,mert,lateofFunchal,Madeira.Mr.Briggs,beingMr.Eyre’ssolicitor,wrotetouslastAugusttoinformusofouruncle’sdeath,andtosaythathehadlefthispropertytohisbrothertheclergyman’sorphandaughter,overlookingus,insequenceofaquarrel,neverfiveweenhimandmyfather.Hewroteagainafewweekssiointimatethattheheiresswaslost,andaskingifweknewanythingofher.Anamecasuallywrittenonaslipofpaperhaseofi.Youknowtherest.”Againhewasgoing,butIsetmybackagainstthedoor.
“Doletmespeak,”Isaid;“letmehaveonemomenttodrawbreathandreflect.”Ipaused—hestoodbeforeme,hatinhand,lookingposedenough.Iresumed—
“Yourmotherwasmyfather’ssister?”
“Yes.”
“Myaunt,sequently?”
Hebowed.
“MyuncleJohnwasyouruncleJohn?You,Diana,andMaryarehissister’schildren,asIamhisbrother’schild?”
“Undeniably.”
“Youthree,then,aremycousins;halfourbloodoneachsideflowsfromthesamesource?”
“Wearecousins;yes.”
Isurveyedhim.ItseemedIhadfoundabrother:oneIcouldbeproudof,—oneIcouldlove;andtwosisters,whosequalitiesweresuch,that,whehembutasmerestraheyhadinspiredmewithgenuineaffeandadmiratiowogirls,onwhom,kneelingdownoground,andlookingthroughthelow,latticedwindowofMoorHousekit,Ihadgazedwithsobitteramixtureofianddespair,weremynearkinswomen;andtheyoungandstatelygentlemanwhohadfoundmealmostdyingathisthresholdwasmybloodrelation.Gloriousdiscoverytoalonelywretch!Thiswaswealthindeed!—wealthtotheheart!—amineenialaffes.Thiswasablessing,bright,vivid,andexhilarating;—notlikethepiftofgold:ridweleenoughinitsway,butsfromitsweight.Inoedmyhandsinsuddenjoy—mypulsebounded,myveinsthrilled.
“Oh,Iamglad!—Iamglad!”Iexclaimed.
St.Johnsmiled.“DidInotsayyouedessentialpointstopursuetrifles?”heasked.“YouwereseriouswhenItoldyouyouhadgotafortune;andnow,foramatterofnomoment,youareexcited.”
“Whatean?Itmaybeofnomomenttoyou;youhavesistersanddon’tcareforacousin;butIhadnobody;andnowthreerelations,—ortwo,ifyoudon’tchoosetobeted,—arebornintomyworldfull-grown.Isayagain,Iamglad!”
Iwalkedfastthroughtheroom:Istopped,halfsuffocatedwiththethoughtsthatrosefasterthanIcouldreceive,prehelethem:-thoughtsofwhatmight,could,would,andshouldbe,andthaterelong.Ilookedattheblankwall:itseemedaskythickwithasdingstars,—everyometoapurposeordelight.Thosewhohadsavedmylife,whom,tillthishour,Ihadlovedbarrenly,Icouldnowbe.Theywereunderayoke,—Icouldfreethem:theywerescattered,—Icouldreuhem:theindependeheaffluencewhichwasmine,mightbetheirstoo.Werewenotfour?Twentythousandpoundssharedequallywouldbefivethousandeach,justioughandtospare:justicewouldbedone,—mutualhappinesssecured.Nowthewealthdidnotweighonme:nowitwasnotamerebequestof,—itwasalegacyoflife,hope,enjoyment.
HowIlookedwhiletheseideasweretakingmyspiritbystorm,Iottell;butIperceivedsoonthatMr.Rivershadplacedachairbehindme,andwasgentlyattemptingtomakemesitdownonit.Healsoadvisedmetobeposed;Isedtheinsinuationofhelplessnessanddistra,shookoffhishand,aowalkaboutagain.
“WritetoDianaandMaryto-morrow,”Isaid,“ahemtoehomedirectly.Dianasaidtheywouldbothsiderthemselvesrichwithathousandpounds,sowithfivethousandtheywilldoverywell.”
“TellmewhereIgetyouaglassofwater,”saidSt.John;“youmustreallymakeanefforttotranquilliseyourfeelings.”
“Nonsense!andwhatsortofawillthebequesthaveonyou?WillitkeepyouinEngland,iomarryMissOliver,aledownlikeanordinarymortal?”
“Youwander:yourheadbeesfused.Ihavebeentooabruptinunigthenews;ithasexcitedyoubeyondyourstrength.”
“Mr.Rivers!youquiteputmeoutofpatience:Iamrationalenough;itisyouwhomisuand,orratherwhoaffeisuand.”
“Perhaps,ifyouexplainedyourselfalittlemorefully,Ishouldpreheer.”
“Explain!Whatistheretoexplain?Youotfailtoseethattwentythousandpounds,thesumiion,dividedequallybetweenthenephewandthreeniecesofouruncle,willgivefivethousandtoeach?WhatIwantis,thatyoushouldwritetoyoursistersahemofthefortuhasaccruedtothem.”
“Toyou,youmean.”
“Ihaveintimatedmyviewofthecase:Iamincapableoftakinganyother.Iamnotbrutallyselfish,blindlyunjust,orfiendishlyungrateful.Besides,IamresolvedIwillhaveahomeandes.IlikeMoorHouse,andIwillliveatMoorHouse;IlikeDianaandMary,andIwillattachmyselfforlifetoDianaandMary.Itwouldpleaseandbemetohavefivethousandpounds;itwouldtormentandoppressmetohavetwentythousand;which,moreover,couldneverbemineinjustice,thoughitmightinlaw.Iabandontoyou,then,whatisabsolutelysuperfluoustome.Lettherebenoopposition,andnodiscussionaboutit;letusagreeamongsteachother,anddecidethepointatonce.”
“Thisisagonfirstimpulses;youmusttakedaystosidersuchamatter,ereyourwordberegardedasvalid.”
“Oh!ifallyoudoubtismysiy,Iameasy:youseethejusticeofthecase?”
“Idoseeacertainjustice;butitistrarytoall.Besides,theeuneisyht:myunclegaibyhisownefforts;hewasfreetoleaveittowhomhewould:heleftittoyou.Afterall,justicepermitsyoutokeepit:youmay,withaclearsce,sideritabsolutelyyourown.”
“Withme,”saidI,“itisfullyasmuchamatteroffeelingasofsce:Imustindulgemyfeelings;Isoseldomhavehadanopportunityofdoingso.Wereyoutue,objedannoymeforayear,IcouldnothedeliciouspleasureofwhichIhavecaughtaglimpse—thatofrepaying,inpart,amightyobligation,andwinningtomyselflifelongfriends.”
“Youthinksonow,”rejoi.John,“becauseyoudonotknowwhatitistopossess,norsequentlytoenjoywealth:youotformanotionoftheimportawentythousandpoundswouldgiveyou;oftheplaceitwouldeotakeinsociety;oftheprospectsitwouldopentoyou:youot—”
“Andyou,”Iinterrupted,“otatallimagihecravingIhaveforfraternalandsisterlylove.Ineverhadahome,Ineverhadbrothersorsisters;Imustandwillhavethemnow:youareanttoadmitmeandownme,areyou?”
“Jane,Iwillbeyourbrother—mysisterswillbeyoursisters—withoutstipulatingforthissacrificeofyourjustrights.”
“Brother?Yes;atthedistahousandleagues!Sisters?Yes;slavingamongststrangers!I,wealthy—gedwithgoldIneverearnedanddo!You,penniless!Famousequalityandfraternisation!Closeunion!Intimateattat!”
“But,Jane,youraspirationsafterfamilytiesanddomestichappinessmayberealisedotherwisethanbythemeansyouplate:youmaymarry.”
“Nonsense,again!Marry!Idon’twanttomarry,andnevershallmarry.”
“Thatissayingtoomuch:suchhazardousaffirmationsareaproofoftheexcitementunderwhichyoulabour.”
“Itisnotsayingtoomuch:IknowwhatIfeel,andhowaversearemyinationstothebarethoughte.Noonewouldtakemeforlove;andIwillnardedinthelightofameremoneyspeculation.AndIdonotwantastranger—unsympathising,alien,differentfromme;IwantmykihosewithwhomIhavefullfellow-feeling.Sayagainyouwillbemybrother:whenyouutteredthewordsIwassatisfied,happy;repeatthem,ifyou,repeatthemsincerely.”
“IthinkI.IknowIhavealwayslovedmyownsisters;andIknowonwhatmyaffeforthemisgrounded,—respectfortheirworthandadmirationoftheirtalents.Youtoohaveprincipleandmind:yourtastesandhabitsresembleDiana’sandMary’s;yourpresenceisalwaysagreeabletome;inyourversationIhavealreadyforsometimefoundasalutarysolace.IfeelIeasilyandnaturallymakeroomiforyou,asmythirdandyousister.”
“Thankyou:thatteo-night.Nowyouhadbettergo;forifyoustaylonger,youwillperhapsirritatemeafreshbysomemistrustfulscruple.”
“AndthesissEyre?Itmustup,Isuppose?”
“No.Iwillretainmypostofmistresstillyougetasubstitute.”
Hesmiledapprobation:weshookhands,aookleave.
InarrateiailthefurtherstrugglesIhad,andargumentsIused,togetmattersregardingthelegacysettledasIwished.Mytaskwasaveryhardo,asIwasabsolutelyresolved—asmycousinssawatlengththatmymindwasreallyandimmutablyfixedonmakingajustdivisionoftheproperty—astheymustintheirowshavefelttheequityoftheiion;andmust,besides,havebeeninnatelysciousthatinmyplacetheywouldhavedonepreciselywhatIwishedtodo—theyyieldedatlengthsofarastosenttoputtheaffairtoarbitration.ThejudgeschosenwereMr.Oliverandanablelawyer:bothcidedinmyopinion:Icarriedmypoint.Theinstrumentsoftransferweredrawnout:St.John,Diana,Mary,andI,eachbecamepossessedofapetency.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
“DaysetonNorham’scastledsteep,
AndTweed’sfairriverbroadanddeep,
A’smountainslone;
Themassivetowers,thedonjonkeep,
Theflankingwallsthatroundthemsweep,
Inyellowlustreshone”—
Isootstorminmusic.
Iheardahewind,Ithought,shookthedoor.No;itwasSt.JohnRivers,who,liftich,cameinoutofthefrozenhurrie—thehowlingdarkness—andstoodbeforeme:thecloakthatcoveredhistallfigureallwhiteasaglacier.Iwasalmostinsternation,solittlehadIexpectedafromtheblocked-upvalethatnight.
“Anyillnews?”Idemanded.“Hasanythinghappened?”
“No.Howveryeasilyalarmedyouare?”heanswered,removinghiscloakandhangingitupagainstthedoor,towardswhichheagaincoollypushedthematwhichhisentrancehadderanged.Hestampedthesnowfromhisboots.
“Ishallsullythepurityofyourfloor,”saidhe,“butyoumustexcusemeforohenheapproachedthefire.“Ihavehadhardwethere,Iassureyou,”heobserved,ashewarmedhishandsovertheflame.“Onedrifttookmeuptothewaist;happilythesnowisquitesoftyet.”
“Butwhyareyoue?”Icouldnotforbearsaying.
“Ratheraninhospitablequestiontoputtoavisitor;butsinceyouaskit,Ianswersimplytohavealittletalkwithyou;Igottiredofmymutebooksayrooms.Besides,sierdayIhaveexperieheexcitementofapersontowhomatalehasbeenhalf-told,andwhoisimpatienttohearthesequel.”
Hesatdown.Irecalledhissingularductofyesterday,andreallyIbegantofearhiswitsweretouched.Ifhewereinsane,however,hiswasaverycoolandcollectedinsanity:Ihadneverseenthathandsome-featuredfaceofhislookmorelikechiselledmarblethanitdidjustnoutasidehissnow-wethairfromhisforeheadahefirelightshinefreeonhispalebrowandcheekaspale,whereitgrievedmetodiscoverthehollowtraceofcareorsorrownowsoplainlygraved.Iwaited,expeghewouldsaysomethingIcouldatleastprehend;buthishandwasnowathis,hisfingeronhislip:hewasthinking.Itstruckmethathishandlookedwastedlikehisface.Aperhapsuncalled-fushofpityyheart:Iwasmovedtosay—
“IwishDianaorMarywouldeandlivewithyou:itistoobadthatyoushouldbequitealone;andyouarerecklesslyrashaboutyourowh.”
“Notatall,”saidhe:“Icareformyselfwhennecessary.Iamwellnow.Whatdoyouseeamissinme?”
Thiswassaidwithacareless,abstractedindifference,whichshowedthatmysolicitudewas,atleastinhisopinion,whollysuperfluous.Iwassilenced.
Hestillslowlymovedhisfingeroverhisupperlip,andstillhiseyedweltdreamilyontheglowinggrate;thinkingiturgenttosaysomething,Iaskedhimpresentlyifhefeltanychtfromthedoor,whichwasbehindhim.
“No,no!”herespondedshortlyandsomewhattestily.
“Well,”Ireflected,“ifyouwon’ttalk,youmaybestill;I’llletyoualonenow,aurntomybook.”
SoIshedleandresumedtheperusalof“Marmion.”Hesoonstirred;myeyewasinstantlydrawntohismovements;heonlytookoutamoroccopocket-book,thenceproducedaletter,whichhereadinsilence,foldedit,putitback,relapsediation.Itwasvaintotrytoreadwithsuinscrutablefixturebeforeme;norcouldI,inimpatience,senttobedumb;hemightrebuffmeifmyheliked,buttalkIwould.
“HaveyouheardfromDianaandMarylately?”
“NotsiheletterIshowedyouaweekago.”
“Therehasnotbeenanygemadeaboutyourements?YouwillnotbesummooleaveEnglandsoohanyouexpected?”
“Ifearnot,indeed:suchceistoogoodtobefallme.”Baffledsofar,Igedmyground.Ibethoughtmyselftotalkabouttheschoolandmyscholars.
“MaryGarrett’smotherisbetter,andMarycamebacktotheschoolthism,andIshallhavefirlsweekfromtheFoundryClose—theywouldhaveeto-daybutforthesnow.”
“Indeed!”
“Mr.Oliverpaysfortwo.”
“Doeshe?”
“HemeanstogivethewholeschoolatreatatChristmas.”
“Iknow.”
“Wasityestion?”
“No.”
“Whose,then?”
“Hisdaughter’s,Ithink.”
“Itislikeher:sheissogood-natured.”
“Yes.”
Agaiheblankofapause:theclockstruckeightstrokes.Itarousedhim;heuncrossedhislegs,saterect,turome.
“Leaveyourbookamoment,andealittlehefire,”hesaid.
W,andofmywonderfindingnoend,Iplied.
“Half-an-ho,”hepursued,“Ispokeofmyimpatieohearthesequelofatale:onrefle,Ifierwillbebettermanagedbymyassumingthenarrator’spart,andvertingyouintoalistener.Beforeeng,itisbutfairtowarnyouthatthestorywillsoundsomewhathaeyedinyourears;butstaledetailsoftenregainadegreeoffreshnesswhentheypassthroughnewlips.Fortherest,whethertriteorisshort.
“Twentyyearsago,apoorcurate—nevermindhishismoment—fellihari’sdaughter;shefellihhim,andmarriedhim,againsttheadviceofallherfriends,whosequentlydisownedherimmediatelyafterthewedding.Beforetassed,therashpairwerebothdead,andlaidquietlysidebysideunderoneslab.(Ihaveseentheirgrave;itformedpartofthepavementofahugechurchyardsurroundingthegrim,soot-blackoldcathedralofanrownmanufacturingtownin—shire.)Theyleftadaughter,which,atitsverybirth,Charityreceivedinherlap—coldasthatofthesnow-driftIalmoststuckfastinto-night.Charitycarriedthefriehingtothehouseofitsrichmaterions;itwasrearedbyanaunt-in-law,called(Ietonamesnow)Mrs.ReedofGateshead.Youstart—didyouhearanoise?Idaresayitisonlyaratscramblingaloersoftheadjoiningschoolroom:itwasabarnbeforeIhaditrepairedandaltered,andbarnsaregenerallyhauntedbyrats.—Toproceed.Mrs.Reedkepttheorphantenyears:whetherityornotwithher,Iotsay,neverhaviold;butattheendofthattimeshetransferredittoaplaceyouknow—beingnootherthanLowoodSchool,whereyousolongresidedyourself.Itseemshercareertherewasveryhonourable:fromapupil,shebecameateacher,likeyourself—reallyitstrikesmethereareparallelpointsinherhistoryandyours—sheleftittobeagoverhere,again,yourfateswereanalogous;sheuooktheeducationofthewardofacertainMr.Rochester.”
“Mr.Rivers!”Iinterrupted.
“Iguessyourfeelings,”hesaid,“butrestrainthemforawhile:Ihavenearlyfinished;hearmetotheend.OfMr.Rochester’scharacterIknownothing,buttheothatheprofessedtoofferhonourablemarriagetothisyounggirl,andthatattheveryaltarshediscoveredhehadawifeyetalive,thoughalunatic.Whathissubsequentdudproposalswereisamatterofpurejecture;butwhetranspiredwhideredinquiryafterthegovernessnecessary,itwasdiscoveredshewasgone—noonecouldtellwhen,where,orhow.ShehadleftThornfieldHallinthenight;everyresearchafterhercoursehadbeenvain:thetryhadbeenscouredfarandwide;igeofinformationcouldbegatheredrespegher.Yetthatsheshouldbefoundisbeatterofseriency:advertisementshavebeenputinallthepapers;ImyselfhavereceivedaletterfromoneMr.Briggs,asolicitor,unigthedetailsIhavejustimparted.Isitnotanoddtale?”
“Justtellmethis,”saidI,“andsinceyouknowsomuch,yousurelytellitme—whatofMr.Rochester?Howandwhereishe?Whatishedoing?Ishewell?”
“IamignorantofallingMr.Rochester:theletternevermentionshimbuttonarratethefraudulentandillegalattemptIhaveadvertedto.Youshouldratheraskthehegoverhenatureoftheeventwhichrequiresherappearance.”
“DidoThornfieldHall,then?DidnooneseeMr.Rochester?”
“Isupposenot.”
“Buttheywrotetohim?”
“Ofcourse.”
“Andwhatdidhesay?Whohashisletters?”
“Mr.BriggsintimatesthattheaohisapplicationwasnotfromMr.Rochester,butfromalady:itissigned‘AliceFairfax.’”
Ifeltcoldanddismayed:myworstfearsthenwereprobablytrue:hehadinallprobabilityleftEnglandandrushedinrecklessdesperationtosomeformerhauntoi.Andiateforhisseveresufferings—whatobjectforhisstrongpassions—hadhesoughtthere?Idarednotahequestion.Oh,mypoormaster—oncealmostmyhusband—whomIhadoftencalled“mydearEdward!”
“Hemusthavebeenabadman,”observedMr.Rivers.
“Youdon’tknowhim—don’tpronounopinionuponhim,”Isaid,withwarmth.
“Verywell,”heansweredquietly:“andindeedmyheadisotherwiseoccupiedthanwithhim:Ihavemytaletofinish.Sinceyouwon’taskthegoverness’sname,Imusttellitofmyownaccord.Stay!Ihaveithere—itisalwaysmoresatisfactorytoseeimportantpointswrittendown,fairlyittedtobladwhite.”
Andthepocket-bookwasagaindeliberatelyproduced,opened,soughtthrough;fromospartmentswasextractedashabbyslipofpaper,hastilytornoff:Ireisedinitstextureanditsstainsofultra-marine,andlake,andvermillion,theravishedmarginoftheportrait-cotup,helditclosetomyeyes:araIndianink,inmyownhandwriting,thewords“JANEEYRE”—theworkdoubtlessofsomemomentofabstra.
“BriggswrotetomeofaJaneEyre:”hesaid,“theadvertisementsdemandedaJaneEyre:IknewaJaneElliott.—IfessIhadmysuspis,butitwasoerdayafternoontheywereatonceresolvediainty.Youownthenameandrenouhealias?”
“Yes—yes;butwhereisMr.Briggs?HeperhapsknowsmoreofMr.Rochesterthanyoudo.”
“BriggsisinLondon.IshoulddoubthisknowinganythingatallaboutMr.Rochester;itisnotinMr.Rochesterheisied.Meantime,yetessentialpointsinpursuingtrifles:youdonotinquirewhyMr.Briggssoughtafteryou—whathewahyou.”
“Well,whatdidhewant?”
“Merelytotellyouthatyouruncle,Mr.EyreofMadeira,isdead;thathehasleftyouallhisproperty,andthatyouarenowrich—merelythat—nothingmore.”
“I!—rich?”
“Yes,you,rich—quiteanheiress.”
Silencesucceeded.
“Youmustproveyouridentityofcourse,”resumedSt.Johly:“astepwhichwilloffernodifficulties;youtheeroepossession.YourfortuneisvestedintheEnglishfunds;Briggshasthewillandthenecessarydots.”
Herewasanewcardturnedup!Itisafihing,reader,tobeliftedinamomentfromiowealth—averyfihing;butnotamatteroneprehend,orsequentlyenjoy,allatondthenthereareotherlifefarmorethrillingandrapture-giving:thisissolid,anaffairoftheactualworld,nothingidealaboutit:allitsassociationsaresolidandsober,anditsmaiohesame.Ojump,andspring,andshouthurrah!athearingonehasgotafortune;onebeginstosiderresponsibilities,andtoponderbusiness;onabaseofsteadysatisfarisecertaingravecares,aainourselves,andbloodoverourblisswithasolemnbrow.
Besides,thewordsLegacy,Bequest,gosidebysidewiththewords,Death,Funeral.MyuncleIhadheardwasdead—myoive;eversincebeingmadeawareofhisexistence,Ihadcherishedthehopeofonedayseeinghim:now,Inevershould.Ahismoneycameonlytome:nottomeandarejoigfamily,buttomyisolatedself.Itwasagrandboondoubtless;andindependencewouldbeglorious—yes,Ifeltthat—thatthoughtswelledmyheart.
“Youunbendyourforeheadatlast,”saidMr.Rivers.“IthoughtMedusahadlookedatyou,andthatyouwereturningtostone.Perhapsnowyouwillaskhowmuchyouareworth?”
“HowmuchamIworth?”
“Oh,atrifle!Nothingofcoursetospeakof—twentythousandpounds,Ithinktheysay—butwhatisthat?”
“Twentythousandpounds?”
Herewasaunner—Ihadbeencalculatingonfourorfivethousand.Thisnewsactuallytookmybreathforamoment:Mr.St.John,whomIhadneverheardlaughbefore,laughednow.
“Well,”saidhe,“ifyouhadittedamurder,andIhadtoldyouyourcrimewasdiscovered,youcouldscarcelylohast.”
“Itisalargesum—don’tyouthinkthereisamistake?”
“Nomistakeatall.”
“Perhapsyouhavereadthefigureswrong—itmaybetwothousand!”
“Itiswritteers,notfigures,—twentythousand.”
Iagairatherlikeanindividualofbutaveragegastronomicalpowerssittingdowaloablespreadwithprovisionsforahundred.Mr.Riversrosenouthiscloakon.
“Ifitwerenotsuchaverywildnight,”hesaid,“IwouldsendHannahdowntokeepyoupany:youlooktoodesperatelymiserabletobeleftaloHannah,poorwoman!couldnotstridethedriftssowellasI:herlegsarenotquitesolong:soImuste’enleaveyoutoyoursorrows.Good-night.”
Hewasliftich:asuddenthoughtoccurredtome.“Stoponeminute!”Icried.
“Well?”
“ItpuzzlesmetoknowwhyMr.Briggswrotetoyouaboutme;orhowheknewyou,orcouldfancythatyou,livinginsuout-of-the-lace,hadthepowertoaidinmydiscovery.”
“Oh!Iamaclergyman,”hesaid;“andtheclergyareoftenappealedtoaboutoddmatters.”Agaichrattled.
“No;thatdoesnotsatisfyme!”Iexclaimed:andiherewassomethingiyandunexplanatoryreplywhisteadofallaying,piquedmycuriositymorethanever.
“Itisaverystrangepieceofbusiness,”Iadded;“Imustknowmoreaboutit.”
“Aime.”
“No;to-night!—to-night!”andasheturnedfromthedoor,Iplacedmyselfbetweenitandhim.Helookedratherembarrassed.
“Youcertainlyshallnotgotillyouhavetoldmeall,”Isaid.
“Iwouldrathernotjustnow.”
“Youshall!—youmust!”
“IwouldratherDianaorMaryinformedyou.”
Ofcoursetheseobjeswroughtmyeageroaclimax:gratifieditmustbe,andthatwithoutdelay;andItoldhimso.
“ButIapprisedyouthatIwasahardman,”saidhe,“difficulttopersuade.”
“AndIamahardwoman,—impossibletoputoff.”
“Andthen,”hepursued,“Iamcold:nofervourisme.”
“WhereasIamhot,andfiredissolvesice.Theblazetherehasthawedallthesnowfromyourcloak;bythesametoken,ithasstreamedontomyfloor,andmadeitlikeatrampledstreet.Asyouhopeevertobefiven,Mr.Rivers,thehighcrimeandmisdemeanourofspoilingasa,tellmewhatIwishtoknow.”
“Well,then,”hesaid,“Iyield;ifnottoyourearoyourperseverance:asstoneiswornbytinualdropping.Besides,youmustknowsomeday,—aswellnowaslater.YournameisJaneEyre?”
“Ofcourse:thatwasallsettledbefore.”
“Youarenot,perhaps,awarethatIamyournamesake?—thatIwaschriste.JohnEyreRivers?”
“No,indeed!IremembernowseeierE.prisedinyourinitialswritteninbooksyouhaveatdifferenttimesleIneveraskedforwhatood.Butwhatthen?Surely—”
Istopped:Icouldnottrustmyselftoeain,muchlesstoexpress,thethoughtthatrushedupohatembodieditself,—that,inased,stoodoutastrong,solidprobability.Circumstanitthemselves,fittedthemselves,shotintoorder:thethathadbeenlyinghithertoaformlesslumpoflinkswasdrawnoutstraight,—everyringerfect,theeplete.Iknew,byinstinct,howthematterstood,beforeSt.Johnhadsaidanotherword;butIotexpectthereadertohavethesameintuitiveperception,soImustrepeathisexplanation.
“Mymother’snamewasEyre;shehadtwobrothers;oneaclergyman,whomarriedMissJaneReed,ofGateshead;theother,JohnEyre,Esq.,mert,lateofFunchal,Madeira.Mr.Briggs,beingMr.Eyre’ssolicitor,wrotetouslastAugusttoinformusofouruncle’sdeath,andtosaythathehadlefthispropertytohisbrothertheclergyman’sorphandaughter,overlookingus,insequenceofaquarrel,neverfiveweenhimandmyfather.Hewroteagainafewweekssiointimatethattheheiresswaslost,andaskingifweknewanythingofher.Anamecasuallywrittenonaslipofpaperhaseofi.Youknowtherest.”Againhewasgoing,butIsetmybackagainstthedoor.
“Doletmespeak,”Isaid;“letmehaveonemomenttodrawbreathandreflect.”Ipaused—hestoodbeforeme,hatinhand,lookingposedenough.Iresumed—
“Yourmotherwasmyfather’ssister?”
“Yes.”
“Myaunt,sequently?”
Hebowed.
“MyuncleJohnwasyouruncleJohn?You,Diana,andMaryarehissister’schildren,asIamhisbrother’schild?”
“Undeniably.”
“Youthree,then,aremycousins;halfourbloodoneachsideflowsfromthesamesource?”
“Wearecousins;yes.”
Isurveyedhim.ItseemedIhadfoundabrother:oneIcouldbeproudof,—oneIcouldlove;andtwosisters,whosequalitiesweresuch,that,whehembutasmerestraheyhadinspiredmewithgenuineaffeandadmiratiowogirls,onwhom,kneelingdownoground,andlookingthroughthelow,latticedwindowofMoorHousekit,Ihadgazedwithsobitteramixtureofianddespair,weremynearkinswomen;andtheyoungandstatelygentlemanwhohadfoundmealmostdyingathisthresholdwasmybloodrelation.Gloriousdiscoverytoalonelywretch!Thiswaswealthindeed!—wealthtotheheart!—amineenialaffes.Thiswasablessing,bright,vivid,andexhilarating;—notlikethepiftofgold:ridweleenoughinitsway,butsfromitsweight.Inoedmyhandsinsuddenjoy—mypulsebounded,myveinsthrilled.
“Oh,Iamglad!—Iamglad!”Iexclaimed.
St.Johnsmiled.“DidInotsayyouedessentialpointstopursuetrifles?”heasked.“YouwereseriouswhenItoldyouyouhadgotafortune;andnow,foramatterofnomoment,youareexcited.”
“Whatean?Itmaybeofnomomenttoyou;youhavesistersanddon’tcareforacousin;butIhadnobody;andnowthreerelations,—ortwo,ifyoudon’tchoosetobeted,—arebornintomyworldfull-grown.Isayagain,Iamglad!”
Iwalkedfastthroughtheroom:Istopped,halfsuffocatedwiththethoughtsthatrosefasterthanIcouldreceive,prehelethem:-thoughtsofwhatmight,could,would,andshouldbe,andthaterelong.Ilookedattheblankwall:itseemedaskythickwithasdingstars,—everyometoapurposeordelight.Thosewhohadsavedmylife,whom,tillthishour,Ihadlovedbarrenly,Icouldnowbe.Theywereunderayoke,—Icouldfreethem:theywerescattered,—Icouldreuhem:theindependeheaffluencewhichwasmine,mightbetheirstoo.Werewenotfour?Twentythousandpoundssharedequallywouldbefivethousandeach,justioughandtospare:justicewouldbedone,—mutualhappinesssecured.Nowthewealthdidnotweighonme:nowitwasnotamerebequestof,—itwasalegacyoflife,hope,enjoyment.
HowIlookedwhiletheseideasweretakingmyspiritbystorm,Iottell;butIperceivedsoonthatMr.Rivershadplacedachairbehindme,andwasgentlyattemptingtomakemesitdownonit.Healsoadvisedmetobeposed;Isedtheinsinuationofhelplessnessanddistra,shookoffhishand,aowalkaboutagain.
“WritetoDianaandMaryto-morrow,”Isaid,“ahemtoehomedirectly.Dianasaidtheywouldbothsiderthemselvesrichwithathousandpounds,sowithfivethousandtheywilldoverywell.”
“TellmewhereIgetyouaglassofwater,”saidSt.John;“youmustreallymakeanefforttotranquilliseyourfeelings.”
“Nonsense!andwhatsortofawillthebequesthaveonyou?WillitkeepyouinEngland,iomarryMissOliver,aledownlikeanordinarymortal?”
“Youwander:yourheadbeesfused.Ihavebeentooabruptinunigthenews;ithasexcitedyoubeyondyourstrength.”
“Mr.Rivers!youquiteputmeoutofpatience:Iamrationalenough;itisyouwhomisuand,orratherwhoaffeisuand.”
“Perhaps,ifyouexplainedyourselfalittlemorefully,Ishouldpreheer.”
“Explain!Whatistheretoexplain?Youotfailtoseethattwentythousandpounds,thesumiion,dividedequallybetweenthenephewandthreeniecesofouruncle,willgivefivethousandtoeach?WhatIwantis,thatyoushouldwritetoyoursistersahemofthefortuhasaccruedtothem.”
“Toyou,youmean.”
“Ihaveintimatedmyviewofthecase:Iamincapableoftakinganyother.Iamnotbrutallyselfish,blindlyunjust,orfiendishlyungrateful.Besides,IamresolvedIwillhaveahomeandes.IlikeMoorHouse,andIwillliveatMoorHouse;IlikeDianaandMary,andIwillattachmyselfforlifetoDianaandMary.Itwouldpleaseandbemetohavefivethousandpounds;itwouldtormentandoppressmetohavetwentythousand;which,moreover,couldneverbemineinjustice,thoughitmightinlaw.Iabandontoyou,then,whatisabsolutelysuperfluoustome.Lettherebenoopposition,andnodiscussionaboutit;letusagreeamongsteachother,anddecidethepointatonce.”
“Thisisagonfirstimpulses;youmusttakedaystosidersuchamatter,ereyourwordberegardedasvalid.”
“Oh!ifallyoudoubtismysiy,Iameasy:youseethejusticeofthecase?”
“Idoseeacertainjustice;butitistrarytoall.Besides,theeuneisyht:myunclegaibyhisownefforts;hewasfreetoleaveittowhomhewould:heleftittoyou.Afterall,justicepermitsyoutokeepit:youmay,withaclearsce,sideritabsolutelyyourown.”
“Withme,”saidI,“itisfullyasmuchamatteroffeelingasofsce:Imustindulgemyfeelings;Isoseldomhavehadanopportunityofdoingso.Wereyoutue,objedannoymeforayear,IcouldnothedeliciouspleasureofwhichIhavecaughtaglimpse—thatofrepaying,inpart,amightyobligation,andwinningtomyselflifelongfriends.”
“Youthinksonow,”rejoi.John,“becauseyoudonotknowwhatitistopossess,norsequentlytoenjoywealth:youotformanotionoftheimportawentythousandpoundswouldgiveyou;oftheplaceitwouldeotakeinsociety;oftheprospectsitwouldopentoyou:youot—”
“Andyou,”Iinterrupted,“otatallimagihecravingIhaveforfraternalandsisterlylove.Ineverhadahome,Ineverhadbrothersorsisters;Imustandwillhavethemnow:youareanttoadmitmeandownme,areyou?”
“Jane,Iwillbeyourbrother—mysisterswillbeyoursisters—withoutstipulatingforthissacrificeofyourjustrights.”
“Brother?Yes;atthedistahousandleagues!Sisters?Yes;slavingamongststrangers!I,wealthy—gedwithgoldIneverearnedanddo!You,penniless!Famousequalityandfraternisation!Closeunion!Intimateattat!”
“But,Jane,youraspirationsafterfamilytiesanddomestichappinessmayberealisedotherwisethanbythemeansyouplate:youmaymarry.”
“Nonsense,again!Marry!Idon’twanttomarry,andnevershallmarry.”
“Thatissayingtoomuch:suchhazardousaffirmationsareaproofoftheexcitementunderwhichyoulabour.”
“Itisnotsayingtoomuch:IknowwhatIfeel,andhowaversearemyinationstothebarethoughte.Noonewouldtakemeforlove;andIwillnardedinthelightofameremoneyspeculation.AndIdonotwantastranger—unsympathising,alien,differentfromme;IwantmykihosewithwhomIhavefullfellow-feeling.Sayagainyouwillbemybrother:whenyouutteredthewordsIwassatisfied,happy;repeatthem,ifyou,repeatthemsincerely.”
“IthinkI.IknowIhavealwayslovedmyownsisters;andIknowonwhatmyaffeforthemisgrounded,—respectfortheirworthandadmirationoftheirtalents.Youtoohaveprincipleandmind:yourtastesandhabitsresembleDiana’sandMary’s;yourpresenceisalwaysagreeabletome;inyourversationIhavealreadyforsometimefoundasalutarysolace.IfeelIeasilyandnaturallymakeroomiforyou,asmythirdandyousister.”
“Thankyou:thatteo-night.Nowyouhadbettergo;forifyoustaylonger,youwillperhapsirritatemeafreshbysomemistrustfulscruple.”
“AndthesissEyre?Itmustup,Isuppose?”
“No.Iwillretainmypostofmistresstillyougetasubstitute.”
Hesmiledapprobation:weshookhands,aookleave.
InarrateiailthefurtherstrugglesIhad,andargumentsIused,togetmattersregardingthelegacysettledasIwished.Mytaskwasaveryhardo,asIwasabsolutelyresolved—asmycousinssawatlengththatmymindwasreallyandimmutablyfixedonmakingajustdivisionoftheproperty—astheymustintheirowshavefelttheequityoftheiion;andmust,besides,havebeeninnatelysciousthatinmyplacetheywouldhavedonepreciselywhatIwishedtodo—theyyieldedatlengthsofarastosenttoputtheaffairtoarbitration.ThejudgeschosenwereMr.Oliverandanablelawyer:bothcidedinmyopinion:Icarriedmypoint.Theinstrumentsoftransferweredrawnout:St.John,Diana,Mary,andI,eachbecamepossessedofapetency.松语文学www.16sy.coM免费小说阅读
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Copyright (C) 2019 All Rights Reserved 版权所有：松语文学